about how the school handled reception's first day?

[QueenofKelsingra]

DS started reception today. We had a home visit over the summer with his teacher who explained that we would be welcome to bring them in on the first day, find their peg with them, see them settled for a few minutes and then leave.

We then hear nothing from the school - no letter or anything to let us know the timings/requirements for the first day (I've had to phone the office to get the actually school day times as not on the website or anything).

Get to school this morning, walk up to the door and the headmistress is there. DS is 2 steps ahead of me and walks through and then the head stops me and says 'no parents coming in' and sticks her arm across the door and ushers me around away from the door. DS is already a few steps down corridor and then gone.

I am really really pissed off as it meant I didn't get to say goodbye on his first day!! he was already down the hall being ushered by the TA so didn't hear me call to him.

To be clear, I didn't expect him to have an issue, he was very much looking forward to it and so was I. if they had told us in the first place we had to drop at the door I would have said goodbye before we got to the door.

AIBU to be really annoyed (and a bit upset) that because they changed the rules without telling us I didn't get to say goodbye, give a hug and a kiss to DS on his first day?
I don't really think he will have had an issue however we ALWAYS say goodbye before I leave him somewhere and IF he had turned around and seen I had just vanished without saying goodbye he could have been upset and it would have been needless. I feel I should say something about the way this has been handled.

Just to emphasise I have no issue with a 'drop at door' policy, i never planned to do more that find his peg and send him on in with a hug and a kiss, my issue is they changed it and gave me no option to say goodbye to my child.

[MiscellaneousAssortment]

YANBU mines first day is tomorrow and I'll be holding into his hand tight so we don't get separated before I've said goodbye [shudders]

[Reepits]

You need to realise that they own your child, the state. Look at that sick kids parents.

[QueenofKelsingra]

amazing that is not too far off, although much more make up!!

LL the school is so good and he has been in the on-site pre-school which has been brilliant and have had no complaints at all. but the first time I met the head there was something about her that just seemed false and disingenuous. I have since found out (and know to be true, not just the rumour mill) that she has done things recently out of school that IMO are totally inappropriate in a role model for future generations (and on a personal level I cannot respect someone who would do what she has). I am worried about it but I'm so sure she'll be gone by next year and the fact I didn't like her was the only tripping point for the school. we do have another school we could move him to if needed though.

the annoyance is subsiding to be replaced with a tinge of sadness that my memory of PFB's first day has this black mark in it. to not say goodbye is a big deal to me and it was so unnecessary.

[AmazingBouncingFerret]

Is this the headteacher?

[LL12]

My sister had a similar experience with her child's first day at school today, they expected to be able to go In but their child was ushered away before they were able to say Goodbye. My BIL had to shout Goodbye down a corridor.
I have to say there does seem to be a few red flags with the school that I can see from my own experiences with schools, that my sister can't see as this is her first child.

[CromerSutra]

Didn't read that part about the Head?! The mind boggles!

[CromerSutra]

Well done op! I think you did really well to make that point.

[Only1scoop]

Sounds like a witch hunt on for the head

[GoblinLittleOwl]

the head is non-teaching, plus should leave next year (maybe sooner as word circulates about her less than exemplary choices in her private life)
You really do like to live dangerously, don't you.

[QueenofKelsingra]

He has had another good day - I have no qualms at all with his teacher or TA. never seen the deputy before today (assuming that's who she was). I have never liked the head from the first meeting but everything else about the school is spot on and the head is non-teaching, plus should leave next year (maybe sooner as word circulates about her less than exemplary choices in her private life) hence why we went with the school despite her.

I will forbid myself from making a further fuss/writing letters. picking battles and all that!!

[fromparistoberlin73]

was about to say BU, but then

its your babys first day at school
its a BIG DAY
and you want to trust school, and this does not set up well


sorry but hope he had a good days and things get better

and DONT write letter yet- pick your battles xx

[saltnpepa]

I hate the way schools seem to think they own your child in some way. I would have been rather keen to move her arm and say I wish to say goodbye to my son on his first day at school thank you.

[QueenofKelsingra]

to clarify I didn't deck the deputy head! she had her arm across the doorway at shoulder height, I just kept walking/inching towards it as we talked and she dropped her arm as my shoulder made very slow and gently contact with her arm.

what teacher has the right to stop me going with my child? (who was holding my hand, pulling me behind him as he went under her arm)

the teacher and TA were fine with me at pick up and the deputy head wont teach ds for a few years so hopefully I wont be blackmarked!!

[Nanny0gg]

I doubt the OP shoved the Deputy to the floor!

How dare she block like that - what adult behaves in that manner? Absolutely ridiculous. And I bet if the OP was male, 6ft and built like a brick outhouse it wouldn't have happened!

[NadiaWadia]

Sorry the deputy head is apparently a clone of the HT! Good for you for asserting yourself.
Could you get all the parents in your Facebook group to do a joint letter of complaint, and all sign it?
Then: 1. They might take more notice as it's from more people.
2. You won't be singled out as THAT parent!

[Only1scoop]

Queen there seems to be much arm blocking by the heads at that school.

I should attach a copy of the booklet if you do write a letter....the start of first day was nothing as it stated....

Or was it that Onesie again

[Bumpsadaisie]

Goodness that sounds horrid!

In our school we go in and chat for ages in the corridor while the kids are sorting themselves out!

[redexpat]

Equally the deputy shouldnt have put her arm up to block the mother.

I think you should write. It's not good management to say one thing and do another. They need to sing from the same choir sheet. You could include a copy of the written info where it said what would happen on the first day. If they didnt like it, they should have gone with it in this instance and changed the booklet in time for next year's intake.

Also think you should change schools because it sounds like this one is run by totalitarians

[wtffgs]

Sounds ridiculous!

We are encouraged to go in with kids until Y3! I must admit I am dropping Y2 DD2 at the door. She is confident and capable.

Doing a bit of primary supply opened my eyes to the PITA that it can be when parents are still hovering after the bell has gone. However that was KS2.

I thought YR was all about strong home-school links and the first day of school is a milestone. YANBU and I hope he had a lovely day!

[ChazsBrilliantAttitude]

I think the school are being arsey but never touch a teacher like that.

[Iggi999]

Communication from the school has been very poor but I am that you thought it ok to push her arm out of the way. You should not have touched her.

[Downamongtherednecks]

This school has NO respect for parents, and doesn't seem to care much about upsetting small children. I'm glad your ds was able to show you his peg, things like that mean a lot to them at that age!

[QueenofKelsingra]

UPDATE:

So this morning no sign of the head, it was the deputy on the door. I caught the TA as she went in and asked if I could just go to his peg with him as he had asked why I didn't go in with him yesterday like I said I would. TA said that would be fine.

Get to the door and the deputy shoves her arm across the door and stops me. I explain that the TA has said it is fine and she still wont let me past! so I admit I pushed her arm aside and walked on in. TA and teacher fine with it. took him to his peg, he showed me and then was happy. deputy gave me evils as I left.

so I guess I have become 'that parent' in her eyes but I'm trying very hard not to care what she thinks (and hoping she forgets me!) as I know it was the right thing for DS. he was so happy that I came in.

I still want to write and say how unacceptable I found the whole thing but I think that would cement me as 'that parent' and I'm hoping that now I've been in with DS today I can hide near the back of the playground for a bit and it will be forgotten!

[crazylady321]

Aww thats a shame id be quite sad aswell. My twins started on Monday and I was allowed to go in the cloakroom and help them get sorted. On Tuesday I just put them in the class line in playground I noticed that today aswell they were discouraging parents from going in, could be as more children than on Monday and think a couple of kids were upset aswell which makes it harder if parents there, im glad mine started on Monday

[CromerSutra]

I'm glad your DS had a great day though, obviously!