not to contribute to teacher's Christmas collection?

[Soapysuds64]

Been back at school 3 weeks now, and class rep has sent around an email (in 'festive colours') asking for money for teacher's collection at Christmas. Suggested amount is £20 each, to make a total of £280 (14 kids - private school). This is all new to me - at previous school we would all shove a fiver in and/or make a token gift. Please tell me IANBU to contribute? Anyone else been asked to contribute this kind of amount before? I don't want to rock the boat, but it doesn't sit right with me.

[GoblinLittleOwl]

Blimey! Are you supplementing her salary?

[MsAnthropic]

I think a collection is perhaps suitable when someone is retiring or a modest one if someone goes on maternity leave, but it should be genuine and totally voluntary in participation and amounts.

[Hulababy]

Even for an independent school this would be considered a lot round here. Normally £5-10 max here.

[Soapysuds64]

Cherries - I would like to do that - give the £20 to dd's favourite charity and a small hand made gift to the teacher. In the past we have made christmas decorations at 'Ceramic Experience' type place.

[Bowlersarm]

That's about the amount asked for at my DSes school.

[FabulousFudge]

Independent school - Christmas collection is £10 per child to include vouchers and flowers for teacher and TA plus 2 lovely cards which every family signs.

[Mintyy]

Oh dear God, how can you stand it? Tell the email sender that you will contribute in December and with an amount you feel appropriate.

[Fudgeface123]

I hate this, why should you buy teachers a present...we never did this at school. Is this a new thing?

[Mintyy]

I might contribute £5 to a teacher gift if I remember and if someone else in the class has organised a whip round. But this is only for end of year, not for flipping Christmas!

Ah, the joys of state education .

[Username12345]

Schools just started, what if the teachers shit?

[CombineBananaFister]

Aaarggghhh! it's September FFS!!! There's being organised then there's just being being a Dick. I've spent the morning chuntering at the Halloween stuff now taking up aisles in the supermarket already - it's the first day of Autumn and it makes me weep

Also £20 is ludicrous, tel her to piss orf

[steff13]

My mom always made gifts for our teachers. Giving the teacher a Christmas and end-of-year gift has been a "thing" here for a long time. I've never been asked to put in for a collection, though, we just do our own thing (or not, if you prefer) at my kids' school.

[HPparent]

Sorry both my children went to a private primary and we were never asked to contribute anything. I used to send a card with a message thanking them and perhaps a bottle of nice wine, posh chocs or a gift the child had chosen.

I think it is ridiculous and embarrassing to give a teacher an expensive gift.

[CKDexterHaven]

I have family members who are teachers. Although they are not ungrateful for the gifts they receive they find the whole obligatory 'Christmas and end of year gift giving' thing totally unnecessary. They would rather not have anything. Maybe schools should start adopting a policy of 'no gifts for teachers'.

[samsam123]

why give them anything surely a card is enough they get paid don't they - is everyone on here super rich sending their children to private school

[Smartiepants79]

I work in a state primary school, as do several friends and family. I've never heard of this.
A token gift is lovely but this is ridiculous. Think the most generous gift I ever received was a token. Maybe £10?
The ones that have been made or come with true thanks are the best.

[zipzap]

Tell her that you're sorry but you've already sorted out the teacher's Christmas present so she's too late for this year.

And was the £20 definitely just for the teacher just for Christmas? Or for the teacher and TA, for Christmas or the whole year?

I'm with you - I think £20 sounds expensive.

[Applefallingfromthetree2]

This is totally ridiculous and I say this as a teacher myself. Give what you like to who you like at Christmas, don't ever feel you should have to give. IMO there are so many more people deserving of the odd £20, one person who springs to mind is the chap who keeps our London street swept clean and free from litter. Probably on the mimimum wage but worth so much more! I wonder how many people give to him.

[listsandbudgets]

YANBU.

We vary how much we spend on teachers and try to make it a personal gift they may like to have. Last year DD discovered her teacher really wanted to go and see a partiuclar film so we bought her cinema vouchers (£15 iirc so she could take a friend). The previous year dd insisted on buying water purification tablets and a small first aid kit as she knew her teacher was going to rural Africa to teach over the summer. Both times we received lovely personal thank you notes from her teachers.

I know nothing about this years teacher will have to wait to see what DD decides her hobbies are

[LuluJakey1]

I work in a state secondary school. Our staff are not allowed to accept wine from children, it isn't appropriate. Cards are lovely and appreciated and the odd box of chocolates or bunch of flowers or mug appears but we actively discourage anything else. Our children come from poor backgrounds. A thank you is enough.

[LuluJakey1]

Money or tokens would be considered inappropriate anyway- but they don't happen.

[Scholes34]

Say you'll only contribute if they promise to spend the lot on chocolates!

[Peppa87]

Absolutely bloody stupid!

I just don't get the whole teacher gift thing, as wonderful a job they do, they are just doing the job they are paid to do! Why is showering them with gifts necessary?

A small token gift if the DC pesters to do it, fine, but hundreds of pounds worth, utter nonsense.

Yanbu atall!

[Surfsup1]

Cherriesandapples what is unethical about accepting a gift?

[Surfsup1]

OP I assume the idea is to buy a nice gift rather than have the teacher receive endless boxes of chocolates?
Twenty quid does seem rather a lot, but at a private school I'm not surprised. My children are at a state primary school, but in a very wealthy area and lots of parents contribute pretty generously to the collection for an end of year gift (it's never given as cash though).