To not want to date someone who licks their knife

[NiceHandles]

Just that really. I was introduced to someone recently and he seems nice and we get along. He is a bit rough and ready, seems kinds and makes me laugh which I really like but when eating he licks his knife. I am finding this a complete turn off and would like to know if maybe licking your knife is ok. I do not like it one bit.

[daisychain01]

Sorry the its should be it's. I wish my iPad would behave itself!

[Migsy1]

If he licks his knife then he is likely to display more etiquette breaches. It won't stop at this habit. He has probably been brought up with different standards to you. He probably won't understand your horror. I bet he cuts his bread rolls with a knife too.

[OneInAMillionYou]

I detest bad table manners so he would be dumped. Imagine a life time of lunches and suppers with such hideous manners. They say a lot about a person.

[ShakesBootyFlabWobbles]

I know daisy

I have to say, I am a bit shocked by the strength of.revulsion of somebody licking a knife on this thread. As someone says up thread, it is likely he was brought up with this not being ever mentioned and is blissfully unaware it even bothers people. You can communicate quite lightheartedly about it, it is hardly the crime of the century.

I am in the MN alternative reality where it is fine to be offended by a minor breach of certain folk's table manners and also fine not to communicate what could be a very easy fix

[Karenthetoadslayer]

Sounds like a case of "culture clash" along with you initial statement that he is a bit "rough and ready". Would you cringe every time you had dinner with your parents, your friends and would you be embarrassed about his bad manners in general?

I know what I am talking about.

I second the above.

If it bothers you enough to start a thread about it in the early stages of dating him, that says it all, really.

(But I have no tolerance for bad manners, I happily admit that.)

[Delphiniumsblue]

Deal breaker for me.

[LEMmingaround]

So. You have just had a lovely meal and there's still some on the knife.....what else are you supposed to do??

[FryOneFatManic]

So. You have just had a lovely meal and there's still some on the knife.....what else are you supposed to do??

You scape it off the knife onto the fork. Eat from fork. My mum would've killed me for licking off the knife.

[mummaduke]

Hmmm, tricky one.

I'd fallen for DH before I'd witnessed his dreadful tables manners... It was too late for me.

I pulled him up on it recently before my best friends wedding... He'd been totally unaware. I can't say it's made a difference, but I can speak to him about it now.

S'pose it depends on how much you like him??

[FunkyBoldRibena]

Scrape it off with your fork!

This reminds me of a chap I used to fancy like crazy only one of my friends - who knew him much longer than me - really didn't want me 'going there'. In the nicest possible way - didn't want me tainted. But I still really wanted to. So every time I was looking in his direction she whispered in my ear 'he probably has toilet roll stuck in his foreskin'. Eugh. It worked, I never did and stopped looking that way pretty quickly.

*No, she hadn't been there, didn't want to, was happily married but was just looking out for me.

[TSSDNCOP]

How does one lick a plate without the scraps/gravy on it running into their lap?

[Karenthetoadslayer]

Shakes if your DS licked his knife, would you not be asking him constantly not to do that? Firstly, because he could injure himself and secondly, you would just do that as a matter of course as part of your job as a parent to teach your children good manners so they will not embarrass themselves.

Alternatively, if he is from an entirely different cultural background and was brought up to eat with chopsticks, for example, he has my full sympathy. I got laughed at in Japan for not being able to eat soup with chopsticks or spaghetti.

[bigkidsdidit]

I wouldn't see him again either. Nor if he belched after the meal ornate a salad with his fingers or something. It's ok - you don't have to sleep with everyone! You can stop seeing someone for whatever daft reason you want.

[Back2Two]

Yuck!

[LuluJakey1]

ShakesBooty I have been thinking about my response last night when I said if you are alone the rules are different and I might then lick the jam off the knife.
I was wrong to say that and I can only put that error down to muddled thinking caused by tiredness. I never lick my knife.
I have discussed it with DH as a hypothetical situation. He has confirmed that if I did it and if he walked in on me doing it, he would leave me immediately and divorce me on grounds of 'unreasonable behaviour'.
He is, at this very moment, downstairs making tea and toast to bring back to bed. I am about to sneak down to see if I catch him licking the knife- in which case he will be packed and out by 10.00am.

[ClashCityRocker]

My grand theory is:

If you are noticing stuff like that, and it's making you not want to date him, there's probably more to it than 'I can't see a future with you because you lick the knife'.
Emotions can be very intangible things and sometimes it's easier to put your finger on something that is tangible; ie poor table manners than a general vague feeling of incompatibility.

Which there is absolutely nothing wrong with - you shouldn't feel obliged to date someone because they tick so many boxes.

Depending how you feel about him, you could just say 'don't lick the knife' and see where it goes from there.

I have no strong views on knife-licking. I probably do it all the time at home. Don't think I'd do it with a potential new partner though.

I think it's a bit like peeing with the bathroom door open. If he comes from a family where everyone does it, he probably doesn't even know he's doing it.

[DontstepontheMomeRaths]

No someone licking their knife would put me off too. I'd find it revolting and I definitely couldn't take him to a meal with my parents, if in some parallel universe I had meals with my parents still.

Did he eat with his mouth open too?

[treadheavily]

Ugh I couldn't cope with that.

I think table manners sorta crystallise everything. I can't bear eating with people who do stuff like this.

[LuluJakey1]

ShakesBooty update.
DH did not lick the knife. However he did wipe his had on his T-shirt when he got butter on it
We have discussed it and I have agreed to give him another chance after he reminded me he is the best kisser in the world.
He is now on probation and best behaviour.
Brought breakfast up to bed with paper napkins for hand-wiping.

[MyLifeIsFictional]

itching your crack with a pair of scissors

do you mean scratching? You scratch an itch.

[GarlicAugustus]

Yeah, what Clash said. I reckoned YWNBU, then remembered all the ghastly things I've tolerated because I really liked the person. The 'good's not overriding the 'bad', so off he goes!

[aurynne]

You guys are really weird.

Ok that licking the knife is "bad manners" in British culture... but "revolting"? Disgusting??" Why exactly is licking an ice-cream not revolting but licking a knife is? Why is putting a knife in your mouth any different (disgust-wise) to putting a spoon or a fork?

Would hate to think what your opinion is of cunnilingus... oh wait, but that's not "bad manners", so it's alright :P

[MrsWinnibago]

A gravy covered knife is nothing LIKE cunnilingus!

[ithoughtofitfirst]

Id leave dh if he pulled a stunt like that. Deal breaker.

[Hollycopter]

Ugh, I know someone who does this, it turns my stomach. I couldn't bear to eat with her on a regular basis.

There's no way I could be in a relationship with someone who does it, I'd end up stabbing them with the butter knife and then I would have lost the right to complain about their manners.