sure start women so rude

[Happypenguin2014]

Poped into the local sure start centre today with an old school friend, who we've recently been back in touch. She has a gorgeous 8 month old daughter who's teething.

Df had to fill in a form so I held baby. She started crying, not major but a grumpy cry.

The women from sure start said " aww poor girl, she needs socialising "

ERM no. Baby was teething and wanted her mummy.

Aibu to think she's a muppwt.?

[Teddybeau1988]

There's a few centres near where I am. We did a baby massage and a baby brain course at one. All the staff were lovely and we really enjoyed it. I was actually quite sad when the massage one finished.

I went to a baby weighing clinic that is held at another one and got cajoled into going to their baby sensory group the following day. DS was only two months old at the time, so was mainly feeding and sleeping, and I was talked at for a solid hour and a half. The woman was so patronising and rude it put me right off. I wouldn't go back to that one again ever.

[Aeroflotgirl]

Are all Surestart employees rude. We have one that is constantly rude to everyone and has a big of a reputation with being abrupt.

Does anybody know how to lodge a complaint against a Surestart employee.

[bouncinbean]

Wow - our one has lovely staff. They don't preach about how to look after your child - just different classes like baby massage, story time, music time, play sessions, etc. Never been asked anything personal about how I feed or look after my baby. Although they do rather apologetically ask us to do feedback forms so they can keep getting their funding.

[Aeroflotgirl]

Littlemiss I winder if ours is the same centre. The woman does a 10 min singing session at the end and gets all stroppy when the toddlers don't sit still.

[Aeroflotgirl]

I had to take my dd7 who has ASD to toddler group with ds 2.7, she was so rude to dd, dd got attached to a book and dident want to let it go, she was on her back up telling her to put it down as she cannot wander round with it. She did a drawing and wanted to have it in her hand, the woman told her that she couldent walk round with it, really stressed dd out.

[Happypenguin2014]

I have been to another sure start centre n a different town, and it was lovely, so friendly and welcoming. This women was just awful. I do remember her from ds was a baby though

[SourSweets]

My local sure start is great, the women are so lovely. I had a bad day one day and came in very teary and she spoke to me for ages and then text me the next day to see if I was ok. I love my sure start

[DeccaMitford]

We've got a few round our way, all different and some better than others but the one I mainly go to is absolutely lovely. Great, friendly staff, fun activities and good advice available but never pushed onto you.

I'd hate to think a bad experience at one could put someone off the whole concept of them as I think the UK would be a worse place without any at all (something that could well happen if certain politicians get their way).

[IHeartKingThistle]

Ours is great. As is the one I work with from time to time. And with all due respect, we should probably remember that they are primarily there to help and support challenging families or families with difficulties, some of whom genuinely need the help and advice some of you may find patronising. They are assessed on how many 'targeted' families they maintain contact with and when done right it's a brilliant service. It's disappointing to hear about rude and unhelpful staff though, because they'll be putting off the people they are supposed to be helping.

I've probably worded that badly so please don't flame me! Of course they are there for everyone too.

[RachelWatts]

I found my local Sure Start a real help when DS1 was born. Despite not being one of the targeted families, I found it a lifeline as I was having difficulty adjusting to being a SAHM and felt very isolated and lonely. DS1 was fine, it was me that needed the company as my local non Sure Start groups weren't particularly welcoming, particularly if you had a newborn rather than a toddler.

When DS2 was born, I found it much less useful. The system had changed and I wasn't invited to the under 1s group - previously it had been a drop-in - and I was made to feel as though I was snatching their precious resources away from a family who might actually need it, rather than someone like me who already knew how to play with my baby and had wafted in as I fancied a chat with another adult.

[ToysRLuv]

Because of my crippling pnd, I got 9 (I think) free child care hours a week at our local sure start, for DS (then aged around 18 months). However, it meant that I had to attend a weekly parent and child group, where parents were taught how to interact with their toddlers. It was very very basic advice and extremely patronising. Also, they got stroppy and called me uncooperative for refusing to do CC on night-waking DS. I promptly withdrew DS from the nursery. I'm sure there is still a mark against me in HV/SS books. Never mind if I actually knew more than them, having a degree in psychology and another one in counselling (I did a whole module on baby and child brain development/psychology)..

Never will I accept such "help" again.

[ToysRLuv]

Having problems does not mean that you're simple of do not know what you're doing. Sometimes people just need support and a sympathetic ear, rather than a load of (basic and dated) advice and patronising.

[ShakyStart]

Another one here who used to regularly attend sure start groups when my DS was aged from about 12 months onward. The groups they put on were great and the staff were lovely, never passed comment about my parenting or anything. I found the fact that the groups were all free at a time when I was skint, to be really useful and the centre could not have been better. I never experienced anything negative

[IHeartKingThistle]

I didn't say that ToysR.

[ToysRLuv]

No, but sadly that seems to be the default idea sure start inflexibly hold on to.

[burgatroyd]

Local one is great! It saved my sanity. Am sorry you had a negative experience.

[everforever]

I have been in a few areas since dc1 was born.

I have noticed some staff are nice and some abrupt.

The one I use now is excellent. I've only been going a few weeks and they have took time to get to know me and dc2 (dc1 in school) and whenever I need help and advice it is therem . they mainly know us through the courses and as I'm in the "target group". I have found this surestart a lifeline at the moment and pleased I picked up my courage and went to it. The first surestart I used was very horrible and full of judgy staff there.

[Aeroflotgirl]

Apart from this one woman they are all lovely at the centre. It is nice and relaxed when she not there, hope she retires soon. If I were a vulnerable mum, I woukd be very put off by her and would make me feel so bad which I am sure is not the aim of Surestart.

[MillionPramMiles]

My local surestart was great, lovely, supportive staff, always prepared to listen and reassure. Even now I'm back at work if I have a day off I try to drop by to say hi, drop off some toys etc. Its such an important resource for parents, would hate to see their funding cut.

Am guessing not all centres are like that as my local one seemed to have lots of mums popping in from boroughs further away.

[GaryShitpeas]

I was at a stay and play once with my dcs and my friend with her Dcs. Toddler age. We were chatting while our kids happily played

And a sure start staff member told us off for "not interacting with your children enough"

Interfering twat

And they are usually patronising and talk down to parents like they are children. Urgh

[Ifyourawizardwhydouwearglasses]

I've never heard of it so assume we don't have them where I live.

I wish we did, there are basically no groups at all for babies, so I'd welcome even judgey ones for some adult interaction! :D
(Although I'd probably change my mind at some of the examples given above!)

Is it an England only thing? Or do Scotland and Wales have them?

[3of5]

I think the Welsh equivalent is Flying Start. My local one is great.

[MaryWestmacott]

I had similar bad experiences at ours with dc1. With dc2 I haven't bothered setting foot in there. This is an area with lots of churches offering "mum and toddler" groups, so most people just avoid the sure start preachiness. Unfortunately, it looks like our sure start will be closing, which is a pity for those who need to use it's services, but for everyone else, they didn't really support mothers, so it's hardly surprising.

[Mrsantithetic]

Ours is great.

We have a singing signing class dd loves. I spend the full time cringing as the lady is so OTT. Think Mr Tumbles love child with a high amount of amphetamine.

They are polite and although I found the bf group to be a bit patronising and outdated it's free, has something on for dd every day pretty much and is five minutes walk away

[hollie84]

I have two local children's centres and they are both amazing :)

Though I do find it annoying when people go to the groups and then ignore their children rampaging/hoarding all the snack so am quite pleased if the staff tell them off!