AIBU to consider cutting up DD's comfort object

[vvviola]

It sounds worse than it is, honest

DD2 (almost 3) got very attached to my dressing gown - I suspect because I wore it during our endless frequent night feeds right up until I stopped bf just before she turned 2. She lies on it, uses it as a blanket, cuddles it, hides under it. No problem, I have another one and it has been great in helping us sort out her sleep issues. It stays at home so isn't being dragged around.

But.

I'm not tiny. It's a big fluffy dressing gown. And we have some travel coming up. A few big road trips, a few plane trips, and then at the end of the year a big plane journey, some backpacking and another big plane journey. The dressing gown would take up an entire carry on.

I'm a bit tempted to cut off the arm, or a big square before our road trip at the end of the month and bring that with us instead. That way she would still have it to cuddle etc, but we wouldn't be lugging a massive dressing gown everywhere.

But it kind of feels mean to even consider cutting it up because she is so attached to it.

So - WIBU to cut it up? Or not?

[SuperGlue]

I think my dd has wins the disgusting comforter competition! When she was a teeny tiny baby she refused all soothers etc but sort of comforted herself by sucking intently on the sleeve of her babygro or top. which was fine in the warmer weather when the tops were cotton but became a problem when it turned colder and the sleeves were now cardigans or jumpers. Also the wet, sucked material against her skin was horrible and gave her a sort of rash. She was about 8 or 9 mths and I slowly weaned her off sucking the top she was wearing by giving her a cotton pj top to hold in her hands. she would stroke it and suck it which was fine. This pj came in a pack of 2 and we had a second 2 in a slightly different colour (2 pink, 2 peach). So far so good. Except that now at nearly 9 she still uses them every single day. she still sucks them so they have to be put in a hot wash every day. I rotate the 4 of them and they are literally nothing but a bundle of manky looking threads now. There will come a point where they disintegrate entirely. Wer are not far from that point now. They are age 6mth tops! And they have been all over the world with us!

She says that she will have them even when she is an adult!

[trufflesnout]

Ugh that is pretty gross superglue. DD has blankety comforters but isn't a sucker (thank christ), her cousin's toy bunny constantly has soggy ears and, ugh. I vote for the posting ahead option. Could you put it one of those vaccuum-y hoover packs to take out some bulk?

[SixerofthePixies]

Lifts up duvet ...yep still there

I am cough 30 something

Vvv - there is no way I could have gone more than a couple of nights without it at that age, if at all any. Hand luggage only far to precious to risk getting lost and there is absolutely no way I would ever still take it on holiday, no not me

[WhatToDoNow123]

Instead of cutting it up, could you use a vacuum storage bag to transport it in a suitcase? It'd mean it would need to stay packed until you got there as otherwise it'd go massive again if you opened the vacuum bag but at least it'd be smaller and easier to transport?

[vvviola]

We're home and she's fast asleep clutching cuggy for dear life.

She managed ok, on the surface. But there was definite insecurity at night. One night she woke up and screamed "I want to go back to Mummy's house" . poor DH never got a mention

I did end up sleeping beside her for some part of the night each night though. So while it wasn't a total disaster, I don't think we'll try the leave-it-behind method of weaning her off it!!

I'm not sure who was happier to see the blanket - her or me. I might get to sleep without being hit in the face by little flailing arms

[FunkyBoldRibena]

I would take a 8 inch strip off the bottom to make into a travel cuggy, and post the actual thing on and see if travel cuggy could arrive faster than home cuggy. Get her used to taking travel cuggy out each day and leaving home cuggy at home. She could wear it like a scarf.

She will grow into it one day . Or I might be tempted to make her a house coat with a nice big hood [think OBI-Wan Kenobi style].

[seasavage]

I know a 35 yr old woman who has what looks like a worn ribbon on her keyring. It is part of her blankie. Her mum did cut it up as she grew to make it discrete to have with her all the time. She does touch it before big work meetings or presentations. It still gives her confidence. I don't 'get' the need for a comfort object. But making something out of it (soft toy) and a small travel blanket might help.

[cankles]

Also running in screaming ...... cuggy is a 'transitional object' which represents you .............. do not cut it up!!! She loves this, loves it because it represents you .......... google transitional objects - they are very important and most of all they sooth ..... nothing can sooth a child like a transitional object. 2 of my dc's still have theirs. DD3 (11) has a pink blanky goes under her head every night. DS2 (13) now just pops in somewhere in his room - he doesn't need it as such but just likes to know it's 'around'! Your dd sounds lovely. What a sweetheart x

[SixerofthePixies]

I am very pleased to hear its still in one piece . When is your big trip coming up?

[LatteLoverLovesLattes]

Ok, so we have established it is too big for her to wear on the plane... but this could be a test of how much you love your sleep DD :)




I would take it anywhere you go by car.

Is there not a belt that would do for your next flying trip?

But you are going to have to do something before your move... eek. I would leave it until she gets over this weekend and try talking to her again. It's hard when they are so wee... but you can't take a huge dressing gown everywhere with you :(

Failing any real progress though, I would take it in your luggage vacuum packed and tell her she can have it in 10 days when you get to your final destination and do a chart she can cross off.

[kippersmum]

Are you me?? It is not often I type that. I had DD2 late Nov 15 months after DD1. My mum bought me the most enormous red fluffy comfy dressing gown. I spent a freezing cold winter BFing DD2 tucked into either side of the dressing gown. Fast forward nearly 7 years... DD2 is currently upstairs asleep under "Dressy" & her duvet. I have never worn that dressing gown again.

To contradict all posts above, it is quite easy to travel with a huge dressing gown if you like your sleep. DD2 doesn't take any stuffed toys or anything else away, she is quite happy if Dressy is her only piece of holiday luggage.

Whatever you do don't cut it up

[vvviola]

The "big trip" is in January. So we do have some time to work on a solution.

The next small trip - by plane - is at the start of October.

It's all complicated by the other adults coming with us. DH just doesn't get the whole "transitional object" thing and suggested hiding cuggy when we got home seeing as she'd survived without it (he wasn't being intentionally mean, he just didn't get it until I explained it to him). My parents will also be with it, and while my Mum is pretty clued in about child development, she will see the trip as a way to wean her off cuggy completely.

Which means I need a plan. By the end of September. That will allow us do the two trips relatively easily, while not getting rid of cuggy completely. Taking it with us on the short trip just won't be an option. So a "travel cuggy" will be needed.

At the moment either a vacuum bag in the bottom of the suitcase or a "race" between the posted cuggy and the travel cuggy seems to be the best bet for the big trip.

I didn't have a comfort object really as a kid (a couple of teddies, but none of them were "essential") and DD1 just has her teddy, so all of this is completely alien to me, even if I do get the theory :)

[vvviola]

Oh, and cuggy doesn't usually leave the house at all. It's for bed, and snuggling on the couch. Occasionally for hiding under. Teddies and dolls may sometimes be allowed to share it. But not big sisters. Dads get into serious trouble if they are caught sitting on it

[vvviola]

Minor update: still very resistant to the idea of doing anything to "cuggy".

BUT - I have found the belt, so am now trying to think of ways to turn the belt into something that can be cuddled (idea of letting her take long rope-like thing to bed makes me nervous)

[vvviola]

"Travel cuggy the octopus/squid"


DH is now 100% on board with keeping cuggy over the next few months, with a temporary travel buddy. DMum arrives in 2 days, we shall see how much of a hard time she gives me.

I have decided to vacuum pack cuggy for the long emigration trip - so won't be available for our holiday, as I'll keep it at bottom of suitcase, but we can take it out once we get "home".

[JsOtherHalf]

Awww, how fabulous. I did have a think of how to make something with that belt, but i have no artistic flair whatsoever, so couldn't think of anything.

Hope travel cuggy has some nice trips.

[vvviola]

Final update: "Little cuggy" is a success

Just back from the carry-on-bags-only trip (although we did end up checking in one bag between the 6 of us). Little cuggy came along and was snuggled and she was quite happy to have it instead of "big cuggy".

We did have one discussion about big cuggy while we were away, when she said that we should just use the suitcase for big cuggy. I asked her what we would do about clothes. Her answer "we could wear pyjamas all week" then got a fit of the giggles (we had a very early flight so had brought her to the airport in her pjs and changed her there).

I'll call the whole thing a big success (and DM called it "inspired", so I'm basking in my success right now!)

[chrome100]

I had an enormous sheet that I used to drag around everywhere when I was little.

My mum cut a bit off and I had "little sheet" for the daytimes and "big sheet" for nights.

[LadyLuck10]

'Little cuggy' how cute op
Glad it all turned out fine!

[Ishouldbeweaving]

Travel Cuggy looks super, you did a really good job there. I'm glad to hear that there was a happy ending. In years to come you will look back on this and smile.

I suspect that if I went upstairs now and frisked DS14's bed I'd find the nightie that I wore for the first few months after his birth. He used to drag that everywhere until we agreed that it stopped in the bed. He could cuddle it any time he liked but he had to go to bed to do it. DH (and grumpy MIL) thought that it should be taken away (tut, harumph, tut) but I said that we'd deal with it later if it was a problem. By the time he was old enough for nights away with school and scouts he was past his dependency. There are bigger issues in parenting - you have to choose your battles.

[PiperIsOrange]

How about booking a very cheap flight for the extra hand luggage.

[MyBaby1day]

YABU, don't do that, she might be devastated!.

[vvviola]

Don't worry myBaby1Day, we've moved on a bit. I made a "little cuggy" out of the belt (discovered in a drawer) and a pocket (which she hasn't missed). It has been accepted as an alternative while we're travelling, so our only dilemma is whether to ship/post/vacuum pack the big one when we emigrate in January.