To assume I will having a c-section

[Babyleopard23]

So I'm 17 weeks today and due 7th Jan.
Mine and DH first baby, we are both crazily excited.
I would love nothing more than to have a natural birth or even be able to give it a try.

Bit of a long story but 3 years ago I was in a car accident I broke 6 vertebrae in my back, had rods and nails put in to support my spine and had some vertebrae replaced with metal ones. Also broke my pelvis at the same time too. So as you can imagine my back is pretty painful at the best of times although I can manage to work and do most "normal" activities.
My DH is in the forces and we live abroad and the medical care here is amazing. My midwife told me at my first appointment though that they will no doubt want me to have a c-section which is understandable.

I am just dreading having more surgery after 3 horrific ops on my back and all the pain that comes with it. I previously asked my neurosurgeon who treated me if I would be able to give birth naturally one day and he said I would without problems. I keep doubting myself thinking maybe I shouldn't opt for an elective section and at least try but then I'm so concerned that I may damage my back more if it doesn't go to plan (one of the screws snapped last year so is floating around in there somewhere but they couldn't get it out and I get pains in my legs a lot from it now).

Aibu to assume I should just have a section and not risk damaging myself but to be sad that I couldn't try a natural birth?

[bearfrills]

It can be common after surgery and after a spinal anaesthetic. The hospital where I was have a policy that two staff have to be present when you get up for the first time, one either side of you.

[bearfrills]

The song that was playing on the ipod when DS was born was on the radio the other day, I cried because it made me remember the moment so clearly :)

[bearfrills]

(Cried in the good way)

[WhyOWhyWouldYou]

I have a few different back problems - none are as bad as yours was but the pain in my back inbetween the contractions made the contracts feel like a little tightening. i had pethidine not because the contractions were too bad but because the back pain was unbelievable, i dont even know how to describe it, i never would have believed pain like that was humanly possible. It was constant and unrelenting.

I tell you this because your injury is worse than mine and if it can cause that much agony in my back i would worry about yours.

I think you need to have a good talk with the consultant about it. Ask all about cs and why they think its best for you. This may help you feel more at ease over it.

Plus vaginal birth is really overrated and many women tear down there - i had horrendous problems with healing (stitches disolved too fast) and was in pain when moving to 10weeks past birth! I think a big cut along my stomach would have been preferable and generally they heal well and they wont make it too painful for sex for months (it was over 4 months for me to heal fully enough down there).

Whatever way you give birth, youll feel sore, in pain and wiped out.

[Boomeranggirl]

bearfrills you just reminded me of those lovely surgery stockings!! They look great with the hospital gown

Bearfrills' post is exactly spot on in terms of my experience as well, the only difference was the epidural was already in so they boosted up the drugs a bit, but took their time to make sure everything was as it should be. We had our iPod on too and the music made it lovely, we have a special song now which little boomer was born too. I felt very safe and happy in their hands, they were great.

[madamweasel]

I'm definitely not afraid of the operation, just hate the recovery and having to be looked after and have people doing things for me!

I gave birth vaginally with forceps and the recovery was horrific and it took 4 weeks of being looked after with people doing things for me, I was so badly damaged and unwell. I hated it. You can't guarantee an 'easy option' either way.

[Babyleopard23]

Thanks for all your stories!

Bear- your birth experience sounds really lovely! The thought of being able to plan everything in advance and know that it will more than likely go to plan definitely makes me happy!
I think, even though the healthcare here is really good, I was worried about giving birth away from home even though coming home isn't really an option. Im feeling a lot better about it now I have heard some positive stories!

[DoJo]

A couple of things I would add to the wealth of sensible advice on here:

1. I had a back to back labour and fuck me that hurts your back even without existing injuries - I didn't experience much pain anywhere except for my lower spine, and this was a baby who was lying 'perfectly in position' just a couple of days earlier according to the midwife.
   

1. I had an episiotomy and was unable to sit for weeks after giving birth, which meant I had to stand or sit. Everyone I know who had c-sections was able to sit reasonably well but just needed a hand standing up. I stood a lot as lying down was limiting in terms of being able to do much with the baby etc but if I had had existing back problems, I would probably have been even more limited as to the number of comfortable positions I had available.
   

1. I found breast feeding pretty hard on my back - you hunch over to try to get them to latch, you kind of lean towards them to ensure that the seal isn't broken so that they aren't taking in too much air, then you scrunch over again to put them on your shoulder and burp them and they fall asleep on you. Again - all of this is hard on your back, and a lot of it applies even if you formula feed, so adding any additional potential strain to yourself could make breastfeeding more difficult (if you were planning to give it a go) and make the feeding process more difficult in general.
   

Whatever you decide, you won't be 'missing out' by having one particular kind of birth over another. You have plenty of time to research and understand the options and take all the factors into consideration before you make a decision. If it helps, I know plenty of people who were hoping for natural births, have had EMCSs and then gone on to have ELCS for subsequent births, so I don't think any of them have a sense of being robbed! The important thing is that you get a baby at the end of it and that you are in as good a physical state as is possible to care for your baby when you get home. Good luck!

[cardamomginger]

In your position I wouldn't hesitate to have ELCS. I appreciate that you'd rather not have the recovery from surgery. But recovery from VB can be as bad, and worse, and for a lot longer. If you end up having to have surgery (either related to your back, or for bad tearing, prolapse, etc), it'll have one hell of a bigger impact on your life and your ability to care for your child.

As I see it, ELCS, as far as anything can ever be, is a 'known' and identifiable risk. VB could be a breeze for you, or it could end up being the worst thing you ever decided to do. The potential costs would rule it out in my book.

Disclaimer: VB was the worst thing that ever happened to me. Damage to coccyx and pelvis and multiple serious birth injuries. Have needed 5 operations to repair the damage. I am an extreme case. But it sounds like you are an extreme case too.

[CSIJanner]

Emergency c section after active labour is shit. All the tiredness, exhaustion and various proddings etc only to have the operation anyway. It makes it worse. My second was a planned c due to placenta placement over the emergency exit. Much more relaxed, jovial and gentle. Plus as its scheduled to allow for emergencies, you're in the middle of the day so 8hours later, its the night shift and they can't stand at the end of your bed ordering you to get up - you have until the next morning.

Congratulations though! Love little squishes. Remember its your decision and whatever you choose, you'll have a mini-me to cuddle. Good luck!

[TotorosImaginaryFriend]

Have an ELCS. I did and it was fantastic. Quick recovery and I was out walking in the woods with DH and DT's 3 days after. Friends that had VB had much worse recovery times. I had no problems caring for DT's. We are also abroad so had no help at all and it was fine.

[BeyondDespairandRepair]

i never would have believed pain like that was humanly possible. It was constant and unrelenting me too and I had no back problems to start with I cant imagine what it would be like with issues. I too took it really easy for two weeks...