To assume I will having a c-section

[Babyleopard23]

So I'm 17 weeks today and due 7th Jan.
Mine and DH first baby, we are both crazily excited.
I would love nothing more than to have a natural birth or even be able to give it a try.

Bit of a long story but 3 years ago I was in a car accident I broke 6 vertebrae in my back, had rods and nails put in to support my spine and had some vertebrae replaced with metal ones. Also broke my pelvis at the same time too. So as you can imagine my back is pretty painful at the best of times although I can manage to work and do most "normal" activities.
My DH is in the forces and we live abroad and the medical care here is amazing. My midwife told me at my first appointment though that they will no doubt want me to have a c-section which is understandable.

I am just dreading having more surgery after 3 horrific ops on my back and all the pain that comes with it. I previously asked my neurosurgeon who treated me if I would be able to give birth naturally one day and he said I would without problems. I keep doubting myself thinking maybe I shouldn't opt for an elective section and at least try but then I'm so concerned that I may damage my back more if it doesn't go to plan (one of the screws snapped last year so is floating around in there somewhere but they couldn't get it out and I get pains in my legs a lot from it now).

Aibu to assume I should just have a section and not risk damaging myself but to be sad that I couldn't try a natural birth?

[BeyondDespairandRepair]

i never would have believed pain like that was humanly possible. It was constant and unrelenting me too and I had no back problems to start with I cant imagine what it would be like with issues. I too took it really easy for two weeks...

[TotorosImaginaryFriend]

Have an ELCS. I did and it was fantastic. Quick recovery and I was out walking in the woods with DH and DT's 3 days after. Friends that had VB had much worse recovery times. I had no problems caring for DT's. We are also abroad so had no help at all and it was fine.

[CSIJanner]

Emergency c section after active labour is shit. All the tiredness, exhaustion and various proddings etc only to have the operation anyway. It makes it worse. My second was a planned c due to placenta placement over the emergency exit. Much more relaxed, jovial and gentle. Plus as its scheduled to allow for emergencies, you're in the middle of the day so 8hours later, its the night shift and they can't stand at the end of your bed ordering you to get up - you have until the next morning.

Congratulations though! Love little squishes. Remember its your decision and whatever you choose, you'll have a mini-me to cuddle. Good luck!

[cardamomginger]

In your position I wouldn't hesitate to have ELCS. I appreciate that you'd rather not have the recovery from surgery. But recovery from VB can be as bad, and worse, and for a lot longer. If you end up having to have surgery (either related to your back, or for bad tearing, prolapse, etc), it'll have one hell of a bigger impact on your life and your ability to care for your child.

As I see it, ELCS, as far as anything can ever be, is a 'known' and identifiable risk. VB could be a breeze for you, or it could end up being the worst thing you ever decided to do. The potential costs would rule it out in my book.

Disclaimer: VB was the worst thing that ever happened to me. Damage to coccyx and pelvis and multiple serious birth injuries. Have needed 5 operations to repair the damage. I am an extreme case. But it sounds like you are an extreme case too.

[DoJo]

A couple of things I would add to the wealth of sensible advice on here:

1. I had a back to back labour and fuck me that hurts your back even without existing injuries - I didn't experience much pain anywhere except for my lower spine, and this was a baby who was lying 'perfectly in position' just a couple of days earlier according to the midwife.
   

1. I had an episiotomy and was unable to sit for weeks after giving birth, which meant I had to stand or sit. Everyone I know who had c-sections was able to sit reasonably well but just needed a hand standing up. I stood a lot as lying down was limiting in terms of being able to do much with the baby etc but if I had had existing back problems, I would probably have been even more limited as to the number of comfortable positions I had available.
   

1. I found breast feeding pretty hard on my back - you hunch over to try to get them to latch, you kind of lean towards them to ensure that the seal isn't broken so that they aren't taking in too much air, then you scrunch over again to put them on your shoulder and burp them and they fall asleep on you. Again - all of this is hard on your back, and a lot of it applies even if you formula feed, so adding any additional potential strain to yourself could make breastfeeding more difficult (if you were planning to give it a go) and make the feeding process more difficult in general.
   

Whatever you decide, you won't be 'missing out' by having one particular kind of birth over another. You have plenty of time to research and understand the options and take all the factors into consideration before you make a decision. If it helps, I know plenty of people who were hoping for natural births, have had EMCSs and then gone on to have ELCS for subsequent births, so I don't think any of them have a sense of being robbed! The important thing is that you get a baby at the end of it and that you are in as good a physical state as is possible to care for your baby when you get home. Good luck!

[Babyleopard23]

Thanks for all your stories!

Bear- your birth experience sounds really lovely! The thought of being able to plan everything in advance and know that it will more than likely go to plan definitely makes me happy!
I think, even though the healthcare here is really good, I was worried about giving birth away from home even though coming home isn't really an option. Im feeling a lot better about it now I have heard some positive stories!

[madamweasel]

I'm definitely not afraid of the operation, just hate the recovery and having to be looked after and have people doing things for me!

I gave birth vaginally with forceps and the recovery was horrific and it took 4 weeks of being looked after with people doing things for me, I was so badly damaged and unwell. I hated it. You can't guarantee an 'easy option' either way.

[Boomeranggirl]

bearfrills you just reminded me of those lovely surgery stockings!! They look great with the hospital gown

Bearfrills' post is exactly spot on in terms of my experience as well, the only difference was the epidural was already in so they boosted up the drugs a bit, but took their time to make sure everything was as it should be. We had our iPod on too and the music made it lovely, we have a special song now which little boomer was born too. I felt very safe and happy in their hands, they were great.

[WhyOWhyWouldYou]

I have a few different back problems - none are as bad as yours was but the pain in my back inbetween the contractions made the contracts feel like a little tightening. i had pethidine not because the contractions were too bad but because the back pain was unbelievable, i dont even know how to describe it, i never would have believed pain like that was humanly possible. It was constant and unrelenting.

I tell you this because your injury is worse than mine and if it can cause that much agony in my back i would worry about yours.

I think you need to have a good talk with the consultant about it. Ask all about cs and why they think its best for you. This may help you feel more at ease over it.

Plus vaginal birth is really overrated and many women tear down there - i had horrendous problems with healing (stitches disolved too fast) and was in pain when moving to 10weeks past birth! I think a big cut along my stomach would have been preferable and generally they heal well and they wont make it too painful for sex for months (it was over 4 months for me to heal fully enough down there).

Whatever way you give birth, youll feel sore, in pain and wiped out.

[bearfrills]

(Cried in the good way)

[bearfrills]

The song that was playing on the ipod when DS was born was on the radio the other day, I cried because it made me remember the moment so clearly :)

[bearfrills]

It can be common after surgery and after a spinal anaesthetic. The hospital where I was have a policy that two staff have to be present when you get up for the first time, one either side of you.

[BeyondDespairandRepair]

I think having a c section can be a lovely experience in its own right

Your damn right there a section IS amazing, mine was beautiful and glorious, would not say that about my first. Many women describe their sections as beautiful, calm, amazing...not so many women say that about their vag births.

[BeyondDespairandRepair]

Standing up for the first time is the worst bit but it's quickly over

Actually this was worse part for me, I fainted and its quite common so always make sure when you first move you have people with you but this may be common after surgery anyway?

[MissBeans]

Natural birth is not overrated, it's amazing! Well, it was for me & I forgot about the pain immediately after the birth.

Otoh, I think having a c section can be a lovely experience in its own right, too. In your situation I think I'd opt for a cs. Natural birth would put great strain on your injuries.

Good luck with whichever you decide.

[bearfrills]

I've had a natural delivery and I've had two sections, one emergency and one planned. Out of my three deliveries my most recent was the best experience and it was a planned section.

I went to hospital on the morning of the section and sat in a room on the ward with DH. A MW came to introduce herself and she was my MW who would be staying with me from before theatre right the way up until I got to the postnatal ward. I got changed into a gown and stockings then the surgeon, the anaesthetist and the paediatrician came to introduce themselves and to see if I had any questions. We walked down to theatre and I waited in a little room while DH got changed into some scrubs. My MW stayed with me. When DH got back we all went into theatre. I was a bit nervous and told them so. The anaesthetist put a cannula in my hand and then gave me a quick hug before doing my spinal, the nurse hugged me while the spinal was done. It didn't hurt, just some pressure and they chatted to me all the way through. Once it started to work they lay me down and they really took their time to make sure it was fully working before they started. They had their ipod in a docking station with music playing and everyone was chatting, it was really relaxed. There was some tugging and rummaging - totally pain free - and then a cry, my baby :) They lifted him up for us to see and asked DH if he wanted to cut the cord. He said no (he didn't want to see the surgery end of things!). They took the baby into the corner for the paediatrician to quickly check him over the he came to me. They tucked him into my gown for some skin to skin then DH had a cuddle while I chilled out while they stitched me back up. Once it was all done they moved me to recovery, DH stayed with me, and I had DS stripped to his nappy and tucked in my gown for more skin to skin and breastfeeding. I had a blood pressure cuff on that took a reading every few minutes and a few different bags hooked up to my drip. I was in there for around four hours as I had low blood pressure and they wanted it up a bit before I went to the ward.

Once I got to the ward I was in bed until the following morning. I had a little sidecar cot that clipped to the side of the bed so I could get DS in and out for myself, if I needed anything that was out of reach I just buzzed and someone came to help me. Next morning after breakfast they came and unhooked my catheter and helped me stand up. Standing up for the first time is the worst bit but it's quickly over. Two nurses walked me to the shower, one either side, and I was asked if I wanted one to stay with me (I didn't). I had a shower then they walked back with me.

I stayed in hospital for two nights then went home. I had blood thinning injections for a week and the dressing was on the wound for five days (the MW came out daily to check it and change it if needed). My wound was sealed with a string with a bead on each end, it's great as it's easier to care for than stitches (you basically leave it alone) but as the wound starts to heal it goes tight. On day 10 the MW removed the string and I did an audible sigh of relief, I felt a million times better once it was out!

I did take things easy but I was shuffling about well enough and a eight days after delivery managed to shuffle round the shops with a few rest stops and a pub lunch along the way recovery honestly wasn't as bad as I was expecting and they give you painkillers to take home with you. I had diclofenic, paracetamol and oramorph if I wanted it.

There are loads of threads on here with tips for section preparation and recovery if you use the search function :)

[Boomeranggirl]

C-sections are great! I had one a few months ago and it's been fine. Considering I'd never had surgery before I was a bit worried but it was an emergency c-section so didn't have a lot of time to think about it! But I would definitely have another one with the next baby. I've just started running again to build up my stomach muscles so life gets back to normal pretty quickly.

Don't get too hung up on a natural birth, I was very much going down the water birth relaxing music route until the first real contraction hit and then it was a case of 'forget that hippie whale birthing shit, give me drugs now!!!' You don't get a medal for the best childbirth, as long as the baby arrives safely and you are okay then do what you need to do. I'm kind of skeptical now about the natural childbirth stories tbh. I'm sure most of these earth mothers were off their faces on drugs at the time. Men have big fish stories, women have childbirth stories

[BeyondDespairandRepair]

After my second child I had pushed so hard, without being fully in control that my back and abdominal muscles were so weakened I could not maintain a standing position for 4 days

same here couldnt straight for a week and in pain years after, dull pain but pain non the less.

Nothing after section.

[BeyondDespairandRepair]

Aibu to assume I should just have a section and not risk damaging myself but to be sad that I couldn't try a natural birth?

The last person who said that to me had a damaged bladder through labour and a catheter in, was in and out of hospital for weeks.

A sectoin is a controlled environment, like any surgery of course things can go wrong, but goodness compared to what can go wrong in labour!! Its nothing, and in labour when your with a MW doc may not be available you may not have had an epidural etc, if something goes wrong in surgery you have pain relief etc and top professionals right with you.

Also emergency sections are v different to planned sections.

I think to be able to get one so easily is a gift I really do, I have had both and having my baby delivered via section was a beautiful amazing birth, compared to labour, exhausted, mentally, emotionally, physically, in pain below....

My back hurt for years after labour....not a twinge after section....all down below fine, no probs going to loo....

enjoy

[MagicMojito]

I thought I had a relatively easy but still agonizing "natural" labour (it was induced so not that natural) but I found out a week later from midwife that me and baby were actually in a rather dangerous position as she was face first coming out and they usually end in emcs.

Anyway the thought of being so exhausted after days of stop/start again contractions, a fast and very painful induced labour and then having to face an emergency csec, well it would have been just awfull :(

Really, have it all planned ready. It will be a much more enjoyable and calmer experience if you know what's going to happen and you can plan ahead. Congratulations XX

[AlpacaLypse]

It sounds like you have access to quality professional healthcare. I'd go with their advice.

Congratulations and best of luck.

[Daveface]

I have had two EMCS (and have often heard electives are easier as you haven't also had the trauma/exhaustion of labour first) and I honestly felt almost back to normal after 2 weeks.

I mean I was taking it easy and resting when I could but I had good recovery times. Second time round I was on my own with newborn and 20 month old toddler after 10 days and we all made it out to playgroup! I was given all clear to drive by GP 4 weeks after.

Like all births, different people have difference experiences but, if it helps, my c section recoveries were good so don't base all your thoughts on your friend who clearly had a harder time, they are not all like that.

[Eggsaregoodforyou]

If your surgeon thinks a natural birth would be safe then I would be inclined to trust him/her.

However, you may want to consider how you would cope with pain in labour, many women experience. A lot of pain in their backs during labour and it may be that the effort and strain of pushing ( and believe me you literally end up pushing with your whole back and lower body!!) might be harder to deal with due to the pre existing areas of damage.

After my second child I had pushed so hard, without being fully in control that my back and abdominal muscles were so weakened I could not maintain a standing position for 4 days.

I have never had a C section however so cannot compare how that would be pain wise etc.

Also if you fractured your pelvis might this not be the most difficult aspect of a birth, the pelvis has to stretch and shift to accommodate the baby, etc.

Good luck whatever you decide to do.

[SlicedAndDiced]

Don't listen! C sections are lovely

Much much better than all that pain and screaming.

I was terrified before my first one last year. It was such a relaxed and happy experience for us all. The recovery is also nowhere near as bad as I was expecting.

Now I'm quite looking forward to my one in December

[whataloadofoldshite]

Hey! I'm due same day as you with DC2. There is no shame in opting for a c-section. Both types of labour have their positives and negatives as you mentioned up thread. You should just do what is right for you. Having not walked in your shoes I can't say for sure but I think I'd opt for c-section.