to be concerned that a 22 month old can't walk

[Namechangedforthisohyesidid]

understand that people might say mind your own business, call me a nosy bitch and ask what it's got to do with me, but that's exactly why I am asking.

Saw friends kid who is still only bum shuffling a couple of weeks ago and friends are totally uninterested in getting her to walk or when she might walk. She is teeny tiny and has a very oddly shaped head as well and neither parent seems remotely interested in encouraging her.

I haven't been able to stop thinking about it - I know nothing to do with me but I just think they should be doing something but I don't know what.

can anyone suggest anything?

[stillenacht1]

DS1 was a bum shuffler. Started walking at 21 months. Strapping 6foot tall rugby player now.

[Sixweekstowait]

What happens if you don't take a 2 yr old to the check? Would it trigger a HV visit ?

[Namechangedforthisohyesidid]

I think I will keep my mouth shut then enquire about the two year check. That seems to Be the best course of action. If it's mentioned maybe I will ask if they have concerns?

[Idontseeanyicegiants]

I think the most concerning thing for me would he the attitude to the HV concerns tbh.
My DS didn't walk until nearly 2, not a bottom shuffled, more of a commando crawler (arm over arm), he didn't talk much until then either, just pointed at what he wanted. He was actually quite a genuinely lazy toddler now a lazy teenager though and seemed to just 'get' everything at around his second birthday.
He's fine now, no issues at all but we did keep up with what the HV and Doctors said and followed their advice.

[forago]

yes I agree some forms of hyper mobility / eds can be serious. Many are not. My son is having physio and orthotics for toe walking and to stabilise his joints. He has exercise balls fpr his hands to help witj writing, which was difficult for him, inproving. otherwise he is a happy and healthy, active boy, you wouldnt really know he has hypermobolity aprt from the tip toe walking. we are very lucky as some children have very severe muscle weakness and cant walk at all. He does have muscle weakness in most muscle groups but the consultant is hopeful this can be addressed with physio as we got him in the system "just in time" (at six). he says he sees adolescents where the issues can't be corrected as its been left too long.

Either way, 2 is the time where she needs to be getting into the system if she does have HM or any other issue. I'd have thought they'd pickup on anything major at the 2 year check which must be coming up? they will also refer her for notbwaliing if she isn't by then.

[NynaevesSister]

My first thought was Hypermobility too (which son has). Also late walking is common with Dyspraxia. So is late talking.

I would definitely have a heart to heart if you are close to them. Be as reassuring as possible though. Perhaps go along the lines that you are only bringing this up because their child's way of moving reminded you so much of another child you knew and while you can't remember what they has it turned out child wasn't laZy but had a fairly easy to treat condition and their only regret was they didn't go for intervention earlier. Being a first child they thought it was just the way she was.

[forago]

felt strange when you picked her up I mean - if you hold hands with my son it feels really odd as his fingers are so floppy

[forago]

my son has hypermobility/eds and walked at 19 months, later than his siblings. he toe walked from day 1 (to stabilise his ankles) and is only just getting out of doing so now at 7 with physio.

she may "just" have hyper mobility which generally does make them walk later esp if ankles are very floppy. might also explain why she fel

not "just lazy" though I'd say.

[Purplefrogshoes]

My dd didn't walk until she was 22 months, health professionals were not concerned. My dd has just turned 6 and is fine

[ICanSeeTheSun]

I would say the parents are in denial that there could be something wrong with thier child.

I knew something was wrong was DS, I knew it wasn't normal with his delays. Howeve I was secretly hoping my instincts was wrong and I was a neurotic first time mum.

It was on DS 2 year review my HV picked up on the fact there was something wrong and went to the appointment she referred us to out of fear of her calling SS ( I know that was illogical)

[curiousgeorgie]

I brought it up all the time... Every appointment. I was adamant something was wrong and I knew she wasn't just lazy...

[ouryve]

DS2 was almost 21 months when he finally walked, but it wasn't until he was 3 years that a professional finally expressed alarm. Apparently, anything over 18 months needs investigation.

DS2 already had an ASD diagnosis by the time his motor delay was recognised and investigated. His blood tests for muscular dystrophy came clear, but he was diagnosed as hypermobile by a physio and referred for orthotics.

[Sixweekstowait]

OP - if I were you, I couldn't just leave it - it sounds odd from what you've said and you can't just assume that the HV is doing/ has done the right things. As hard as it is, I think you should try raising it again with your friends in some way. What's the worst that can happen? Would that be worse than doing nothing and later on, wishing you had. If they are in contact with health care profs and don't want to discuss it, seems odd they would use the phrases you say they did. It really doesn't add up and I think it's good you are concerned. How often with neglected children do people say after the event that they thought something was wrong but didn't like to say anything.

[Princesspond]

When we saw a paediatrician he said bottom shufflers don't walk til an average of 24 months. So that on it's own isn't worrying. But if there are other issues as well the parents may have just decided not to share them with everyone, which I think is fair enough.

[NewToAllThis11]

How close are you to this couple? If the answer is 'not very', I don't think there's much you can do, other than be supportive to them.

[cestlavielife]

They may be getting referrals but are in denial so the label for anyone who says anything is she is lazy.
My dd walked at 24 months but talked early. Hyper mobile. No cognitive or speech issues.
My ds walked at 25 months but didn't talk and has many other issues.
Eventaully diagnosed with as chromosome disorder .

All you can do is gently point them to support . The other issues suggesting other delays etc indicate they would benefit form getting some early intervention. Encouraging them to send her to any nursery would help that process get started. Nursery workers would soon refer on...but then again they might just be those parents who say how dare the teacher say there is something wrong ! But eventually someone will notice and so will they and then child will hopefully get the help she needs .

[Namechangedforthisohyesidid]

maybe It was after 1 then, i think it got picked up as she didn't weight bear at all but would that be 1 year check?

[jacks365]

What I meant was that 10 months is incredibly early to start doing any investigations at all and would be because there were much bigger issues than just lack of walking. I wonder whether the parents do know what's wrong but don't want to admit anything either to others or even themselves.

[puddymuddles]

My DD1 did not walk on her own until 2 years old and four days. She is hypermobile but didn't have any of the other issues you mention. she was talking well and not delayed in any other way. At 22 months she could weight bear but her ankles were weak and used to seem to bend over to the side a bit when she pulled herself up.

I do think your friend should get her DD checked out but maybe she is doing so and doesn't want to mention it. I used to moan to everyone about DD1 not walking. She is 3 now and perfectly fine. DD2 walked at 12 months.Perhaps your friend IS secretly worried but doesn't want to tell people anything until she gets a diagnosis.

People used to be really annoying asking me when DD1 was going to walk. I know they meant well but it was still annoying!

curious what age was your DD when she walked? What is her mobility like now?

[helensburgh]

The health visitor has a duty of care and should have made referrals onward.

I think it's difficult but you have to support the situation from " a distance"

[Namechangedforthisohyesidid]

Ms vestibule no worries I just want to know whether I am being an arsehole for being concerned if that even makes sense. it seems like the general consensus is I am not but there is probably stuff they aren't telling us.

I hope nothing wrong but if nothing wrong and they aren't seeing people then they seem like they don't give a shit about what she is missing out on which leaves me a bit cold

[Namechangedforthisohyesidid]

Curious when did you notice? was it some him you brought up first. I don't feel like I can say anything as they mention it first and say she is lazy which makes me feel like that's them saying they don't want to talk about it

[MsVestibule]

Very gracious apology to my mardy comment, thank you .

I honestly do see why you're concerned, especially as she can't weight bear and are dismissing their HV's concerns. I just don't know what you can do about it .

[Namechangedforthisohyesidid]

Cestlavie, I would say incredibly behind with everything. Pretty much unable to communicate other than pointing and grunting. struggled to feed herself, but seemed very happy. When I held her her legs felt very odd in the position they were in, I struggle to
Explain but when I held her her legs stayed up rather than going down or clinging around like a baby monkey.

Jacks what do you mean? as in they are maybe seeing people but not telling anyone?

[curiousgeorgie]

My DD was like this, it was hypermobility and she needed ( and still needs) a lot of Physio. I think I'd gently say something...