To not want anyone in my house while I'm away

[Gwladgwlad]

Basically my friend is house- sitting for me for a month. She has a new bloke (a few weeks) who I havent met and therefore I dont want him in my house while I am away?

Is that unreasonable? I don't actually want anyone else bar my friend in my house while I not here- should I make that clear to her (in a nice way!) Its a mutually beneficial arrangement for her to be here but I feel like I need ground rules!

[EthicalPickle]

Whatever you do, make a decision and let her know. Don't hint or suggest things. You need to be clear. Have you spoken with her yet?

[MaryWestmacott]

Let me guess, she needs somewhere cheap to stay, you need your garden watered, you thought this would be the ideal solution, you've just realised what you've done isn't arranged someone to look after your house while you are away but someone to live in your house while you're away - very different.

If you don't feel comfortable with the idea of someone living in your house while you're away, then cancel her and make other arrangements.

[eddielizzard]

i'd rather leave it empty and get a friend / family check it a couple of times a week. get a couple of timers for lights. or pay someone to pop in and water plants etc.

having a friend house-sit is to blurry when this sort of problem crops up.

[GelfBride]

I have done a fair bit of professional house sitting through a very reputable agency and sitters are allowed to have guests, just not overnight without prior permission. The sitter is presumed to have good judgement.

[heraldgerald]

Totes u
Are you paying?

[roslet]

I don't think you are being unreasonable! I've let my friend use my place for holidays when I'm away (not cause I wanted a housesitter, but cause she loves coming to London and doesn't have much spare cash for holidays). But I wouldn't want her to bring someone I didn't know over (especially as her judgement can be poor). Wouldn't it be dodgy insurance-wise if he damaged something accidentally? My friend left things a bit messy and dirty after her last stay and I felt slightly irritated by it. If a stranger to me had contributed to the dirt I would have felt annoyed and used. Do you really need a house sitter?

[rhubarbcrumbleplease]

It is a bit odd to ban him. I totally get that you don't want someone else in your bed though. Do you have a spare room that you could make welcoming? Put a towel on the end of the bed, flowers in the room etc. Then leave your own room a complete tip. . She'll get the message.

[Pumpkinpositive]

When you say "mutually beneficial arrangement", why do I have the sense you're not paying her?

Was she living in a cardboard box in the gutter before this?

YABmassivelyU on the information given. Perhaps a local security firm will offer as if cheap rates for 24/7 outside cover of your property?

[Mrsgrumble]

If she needs somewhere to stay, op so providing with her with free accommodation so in effect, paying her??.

[Mrsgrumble]

I kind of get you op. Ai am funny like that. To be fair though I don't think you can ban him either when she is doing you a favour.

Can you lock your own bedroom door to put a stop to shagging in your bed for a start?

[yellowdinosauragain]

I don't see why the op should pay her if, as she says in the op, it's mutually beneficial. But unless you are you can't lay conditions like this on it.

[londonrach]

You are paying her arent you....

[londonrach]

Meet him before you go away. You can expect her not to see him in that month. You being a very cruel and unkind friend in that case. Meet him and you feel happier.

[OnIlkleyMoorBahTwat]

I always thought that they washed the sheets between guests in hotels, or do I stay in a better class of hotel than Pagwatch's friend (unlikely, a Travel Inn is quite luxurious by my standards).

YABU to expect your friend not to have any company while she stays at your house. No parties obviously, but her bloke, or a friend or two should be allowed.

Would you object if she wanted to have a few female friends come for dinner or a glass of wine or two?

[BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted]

Bloody hell, what kind of friend are you?

If you tried to impose such a condition on me when I was doing you a favour I'd tell you to fuck off. Even professional house-sitters are trusted to invite guests round and treat the place with respect.

[Pagwatch]

Sorry

[Vitalstatistix]

And now you have ruined them for me.

Ta, Paggy.

[Pagwatch]

Put her in the spare bedroom. Put a mattress protector on and leave old bedding out for the spare bed and once she's gone burn everything
Then never speak of it again.



A friend of mine once told me that she never stayed in hotels because couples staying in hotels are often indulging in holiday/wedding/anniversary shag fest shagging so every night you are sleeping on a bed coated in sex related excretions.
She ruined hotels for me.

[KoalaDownUnder]

YABU.

You can't treat a friend like that! If I had agreed to housesit for a friend and they told me they didn't want me to have any visitors at all, I'd back out.

[Delphiniumsblue]

It is very odd that you trust her to housit but not her judgement.
You either let her house sit or you don't - you can't put conditions.

[yellowdinosauragain]

If you don't want her shagging in your bed then do as a previous poster said and lock your room, along with anything precious in it. Let her stay in another room.

If you don't have another room then either ask her to bring her own bedding or buy a cheap set for her to use when she's there and think of that as the cost of having someone to housesit.

But for fucks sake don't tell her she can't have anyone else in the house for a month. That is massively unreasonable.

[ShatnersBassoon]

Meet him before you go away. He won't be a stranger then, so will be less likely to shag your pal in every room of the house and wipe his cock on the curtains.

Or just trust your friend to be a normal person and treat your house with respect, whether she has a guest or not. Does she have to use your bedroom, or is there a spare room?

[passmethewineplease]

So if ops friend wants any company she has to be out the house all the time? Sod that.