to think an alcoholic probably can't drink socially?

[notagainffffffffs]

I hope I can be proven wrong on this.
My mum is, as far as I know, about 9 years sober. Went through a horrific time as a family getting her into rehab etc years ago after her behaviour became destructive, awful, couldnt keep hold of a job etc.
A few years ago her and my dad seperated and they have started dating again. My mums new partner seems okay, if a bit 'blokey'. She has made comments about him enjoying posh ales, visiting posh pubs .
I have suspected a couple of times that she was drinking, a few times I could have sworn I smelt wine in the kitchen etc but no evidence.
She has just been visiting my older brother and casual as anything asked if she could have wine with dinner like everyone else. Brother said no.
She told him she is fine drinking socially with new partner and he is appalled.

She's quite quick to get angry if you mention any 'negative' thing and refuse s to talk to me for weeks after even minor disagreement s so I really want to tread carefully here.
We've just begun to build a nice relationship, and ive started to trust her again.
Im devastated.
Is it possible to be a wet alcoholic? ?

Sorry I have name changed, but am regular poster

[winkywinkola]

Hanginginthere, your neighbours are alcoholics. No doubt.

[ChangelingToday]

Sad to say one drink is never enough, it's just a downward spiral.

[Alisvolatpropiis]

I think it is unusual to be able to drink socially after being an alcoholic.

My parternal grandmother was an alcoholic and seems to be one of the rare ones who can drink socially. Perhaps because her social occasions are limited.

I'd say the majority of alcoholics can't. I'd imagine there are a far higher number of alcoholics than people imagine, alcohol being as normalised as it is. I occasionally wonder about my own drinking, one the one it's no different to most people I socialise/work with, on the other I know it is too frequent.

Imagine you are right to suspect your mum has not been open with her new partner re alcohol issues. I hope that she will be ok though. 9 years sober is an achievement and she should be proud of that. Proud enough to tell this man.

But perhaps she has told him and she is one of the rare ones who can limit themselves after addiction issues.

Or she's told him and he isn't intelligent enough to understand the illness so is facilitating a relapse.

The most you can you can do is speak to her about it.

I feel for you OP, you must be about my age given how old you have stated your mum is and it is such a lot to have to cope with.