To find it amusing how some people get angry when others won't give in to their demands?

[floraldora]

DD (age 15) has a friend that she has known since primary school. Her friend's mum is ok, but I've always kept a bit of a distance because she is very demanding and there is much foot stamping and tantrumming (from the mum) if she doesn't get her own way.

DD has come home this afternoon:

"X says her mum says you've got to call her tonight because she wants to talk about the London trip with you"

Me: "If she wants to talk to me, she can call me. I don't call people when they demand that I have to call them"

DD relayed the information to her friend that the mum needs to call me if she wants to speak to me, and is now getting text messages from her friend saying how cross the mum is that I haven't called her.

After witnessing quite a lot of this type of behaviour from the mum over the years, I am actually finding it quite amusing imagining her spitting feathers because I don't say "how high?" when she demands that I jump.

[clam]

Why is the OP being called petty? It's as unfair as when people refer to "personality clashes" between people, which are often down to one side being bloody unreasonable.

I wouldn't bloody phone her either. Dd can cope, I'm sure.

[gobbin]

I have a male friend like this. We would often go out as a four or with other friends sometimes using Groupon vouchers for instance. It would always be 'Gobbin, can you ring and make the booking' which morphed into 'Gobbin will book for us'.

Until the day I said 'No, it's your turn to book, I'm not your staff!' He's wary of asking me to do stuff now and generally asks nicely when he does.

Again, petty, but these people are bloody irritating (even though we're good mates). They are often used to 'managing' staff at work and it can spill over into reality at times.

[Berryglitter]

Just call her op. It's just petty and childish and your children are stuck in the middle. Be the bigger person, at least for their sake.

[Tangerinefairy]

Op has said several times that this is one example of the things that this lady has done, it is typical of her, not the only time.

[Tangerinefairy]

OP I actually have a friend who is 50 % wonderful and 50% like this. She can be incredibly kind and thoughtful and at other times really terse and demanding. I work with her too and she behaves in just the same way at work. It IS annoying I agree. There are ways of saying things and being polite and saying "You have to pick them up, I'm busy" and such like IS rude. It is in my book anyway. I wouldn't speak to someone or text someone in that way I'd say "would you mind or could you possibly....?"

[Marcelinewhyareyousomean]

I don't think the op is unreasonable.

I'm not sure if this is a trip with your family or a school trip. In any case two 15 year olds can converse about this.

A summons from a middle aged self proclaimed princess can be ignored. Texting is a marvellous invention.

[LadySybilLikesCake]

I don't think she's being demanding to be honest. Demanding would be if she asked you to drop everything to call her at a specific time, or (in the case of my ex), turning up at the drop of a hat to see his son, then yelling at you down the phone because you already have plans (non refundable train tickets, plans for a day away etc). Now, that's demanding.

[HayDayQueen]

Oh, so I'm not included then HerVagesty?

And I think it's a tad early to be labelling a thread like that.

[HerVagesty]

Oh, this is one of those threads...

OP: "AIBU and childish?"

Everyone: "Yes, YABU and childish"

OP: "NO I'M NOT BECAUSE [insert excuses here]"

[KillmeNow]

Im presuming you are including her DD in a trip to London with your family? If so she has a darned cheek to make you contact her to answer her queries.

If something had been lost in translation then the mum has the option of making the call herself. The outcome would still be that she has the information she wants.

No way would I accede to her demands. I would probably do the passive aggressive thing of 'getting it wrong' rather than an out and out fight.I might text if I was feeling kindly disposed . But I would never ever pick up the phone and call her.

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

The problem is that your dd is stuck in the middle of all this - she is getting the texts about how angry the other mum is. Is this fair to your dd? As I said, I have been in this situation (and I was in my late 20s, not a teenager), and it was not pleasant.

[PlumpPartridge]

If you're sure nothing has been lost on translation then I can understand how you feel and would probably do something similar. But then I have become a bit bolshy in my old age

If something has been lost in translation thrn you'll looklike a right prat though!

[Nomama]

Ach! She's a big child and you're pissed off with it. NU given her track record and, to be very, very honest but not at all PC, who gives a toss if you are adding fuel to the fire. She needn't be in your life at all!

[floraldora]

Squiggly, I laughed in the privacy of my own home. And I told DD to tell the other girl that I'm busy this evening so may not have the time. I haven't given her a reaction

[SquigglySquid]

Perhaps I am just irked because I have had many cheeky demands from this mum over the years and I've had enough?

Completely understandable and reasonable. This isn't about a phone call, it's about her attitude and how she expects everyone to cater to her.

People like that are like fingernails on a chalk board.

But, you are adding fuel to the fire the way you're going about it. Stop giving her a reaction. Just gently set up boundaries and stick to them. She's bossy because more likely than not, you've given into her demands in the past.

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

I got stuck between my MIL-to-be and my mum - each wanted to have a chat with the other about the wedding, but neither of them would ring the other.

In the end I got quite sharp with my mum, and told her that I didn't want to be stuck between the two of them, and would she please just stop being so stubborn and phone my MIL-to-be.

For the sake of your dd, couldn't you swallow your pride and just ring the woman?

[HayDayQueen]

I agree, it is amusing when someone gets the huff when thing don't go their way.

A few mums like that at school atm, organising all sorts of things and getting the hump when you don't jump up and help/join in straight away! I do help and go to as lots of events, so refuse to give in and feel guilty because they think THEIR things are that much more important than everything else in people's lives.....

[floraldora]

I probably am being unreasonable and I probably am being childish, but I have really had enough of the mum barking orders at me and always expecting things to go her own way. It is things like if the girls are out together the mum will send me a text "You will have to bring X home as I'm busy". There are never any pleases, thank yous, or acknowledgement that I don't actually answer to her or have to do as she says

[SirNoel]

I think something's been lost in translation

[SiennaBlake]

Oh well, if she said it like that, id say yanbu not to call! That would irritate me too.

[floraldora]

No Sienna, she more than likely would have said "Tell X's mum she's got to call me". Big difference

[floraldora]

As I have said, the mum is very demanding and has made that type of demand before.

[SiennaBlake]

So more like "get her to call me when she's free"? It still sounds petty to me.

[OutragedFromLeeds]

It was said that you had to call her from her to her Dd, to your Dd, to you. Have you ever played Chinese whispers?

[floraldora]

She wouldn't have said the sentence that you have quoted, SiennaBlake. It would have been a demand