aibu to think mil shouldn't have called...

[juditz]

...At -not a typo- 4.30am in the morning?

Admittedly, my husband used to get up this early for work but no longer does (he has told her he gets up later now for work) but still-4.30 am !??!

Who the monkeychuff does this unless there is an emergency of sorts or perhaps somebody who needs a lift really early for work. You get my drift; she just wanted a chat.

I'm mad as hell; my dad is ill and we thought it was a call to say the worst.

Day off too and I am knackered as I couldn't get back to sleep.

AIBU?

[TaurielTest]

I have an insomniac aunt who likes to text in the wee hours, and I don't always like to switch off my phone completely overnight so have occasionally been woken by texts dropping in if I've forgotten to silence the text alert...

Anyway, my new mobile has a great "do not disturb" blocking feature where I can set it to be silent every day between, say, 2200 and 0600, but with exceptions for calls from particular numbers (e.g. my mum or DP who I'd want to hear from whenever it was). Maybe this is old news to most people, but just in case it helps someone!

[3littlefrogs]

How old is she?
Could she be developing dementia?

[farewellfigure]

4.30am is completely ridiculous. YANBU.

DH's aunty rang on the day we brought DS home from hospital (3 days old). She chose midnight as the best time to ring. We had just exhaustedly got DS to sleep in his crib for the first night ever and we were both asleep. Gobsmacked wasn't the word for it. Who rings new parents at midnight?

[TweedleDi]

I'd suggest a different approach. Give her a ring this afternoon, and just say you are ringing to make sure everything is all right with her as you were concerned at her ringing at 4.30am.

[Thumbwitch]

It's awful, the heart-thump when the phone goes and you're waiting on news.

My mum nearly gave me heart failure when she rang at 6am in tears - my sister was in hospital having a baby - but because she was in tears I was petrified that one or both of them had died! No, sis was just having a CS because she wasn't progressing, and everyone was fine. I don't really blame Mum because it was very emotional but still!

[Moreisnnogedag]

My DH can and does chat to his dm whenever he likes. I like his mum - she is very sweet and loves chatting to us both.

I'd be angry and in neck wringing mood at 430 am because I'd leg it to the phone thinking the worst only to be greeted by a cheery "hello fancy a chat?" No I don't because I thought someone died!

[Icimoi]

I wouldn't want anyone to phone for a chat at any time before I go to work in the morning. Really, who has time to sit around and chat at that time of day? I time my morning routine so that I can comfortably do things without rushing and without getting up before I have to. I would be really unhappy at anyone who assumed that I could take 20 minutes out for a non-essential chat.

[5Foot5]

How politely did he tell her not to call that early again? Because if it was ny more polite than "What the hell do you think you are doing calling at this time you mad woman, don't ever do it again" it was far too polite.

I have been in the situation where you have an ill parent and expecting the worst and, in fact, am in it again and I know for a fact that if my phone rang at that time I would probably wake up in a tital, heart-thumping panic and think the worst. It is so inconsiderate of her.

[Nanny0gg]

So what did she say when you told her it was too early???

[juditz]

No she has always been an early riser -bad enough when she called at 6- but this is getting ridiculous. She's just a PITA; not bereaved or not thinking straight. This is NOT out of character; I really do believe that with age her tendency to totally disregard others' is getting worse. It's not like she was reasonable then she rings at 4.30-sure I'd be more concerned than asking aibu? if this were the case.

I don't want to unplug the phone, but I can't be having this shit. So much to do today and zero energy to do it with.

[Bookaholic]

I know my mum gets up somewhere between 5am and 5:30. I still wouldn't 'phone her until after 9am because those times mean Emergency!

YADefinitelyNBU.

[Pobblewhohasnotoes]

Actually I work shifts. It doesn't mean that on our day off we want mil texting at 6.30! Even DS wasn't awake.

[Hakluyt]

I ask because for about 6 months after my dad died, my usually sane and sensible considerate mother used to ring at bizarre times of the day and night- she just wasn't thinking straight. As she recovered she stopped. And actually didn't remember doing it.

[Hakluyt]

Is she very lonely, or depressed, or recently bereaved? Does she know that you dh doesn't get up at that time any more?

If no, no,no and yes, then hang up on her and tell her very firmly later in the day that it's not on.

[Titsakimbo]

It's not always the female partner controlling contact birds. Phone calls at sociable times of day are always acceptable. I have a MIL who is retired, has all the time in the world to phone and visit. She only phones late at night and visits once a year if that.

I do value my DH relationship with his mum, she produced the man I fell in love with. But she refuses to understand that she is not his top priority and tries to chip away at our happy family life. I think it's more that she doesn't value our relationship.

Mini-rant over.

[juditz]

Fwiw, I'd be mad as hell if ANYBODY did this, however, I'd be also worried as it is clearly one of two things for somebody to ring at this hour without good cause: emergency for instance. Either they are mad or just unsociable -I think it is the latter with her. God I can't stand her- at first I thought I was being unreasonable to dislike her at first sight. Now I know why!! This is not dementia; it's just her intensely dislikeable personality.

4.30 am!! FFS. Even dh -who is by nature an early riser- thought this was ridiculous.

[HauntedNoddyCar]

Birds well yes that's all lovely if everyone's on board. :)

[Mouthfulofquiz]

My MIL called my husband at 7:10 yesterday morning and I thought that was bad enough!! I'm a bit weird though and do say that calls before 9am and after 8:30pm had better be an emergency. (Disclaimer - I may be an antisocial wally at times...)

[Birdsgottafly]

But if you work shifts, or have early/late starts, the usual time limits don't apply.

I was chatting to my DD at 6.30 am this morning, she is on her way to work, he DP is in work, due to finish at 8.30 am.

We all work shifts, so do our best to keep in touch, whenever possible, which can mean calls anytime day or night.

""Why do you feel sorry for some Mothers of sons""

Because some Men don't seem to value chatting, you want to chat to your children, even when they are adults.

Also, their Female Partners don't seem to value the relationship between their MILS and their Partner/Grandchildren and want to control contact in a way that they don't with their blood relatives.

[Pobblewhohasnotoes]

My mil once woke us up by texting at 6.30am to see if we were awake for a chat. Just because she wakes up that early doesn't mean the rest of us do! We did not chat.

[MagicMojito]

Yabu poor woman just wants a chat with her son. Who the hell are you to dictate when she can and cannot do that?! If it really is that difficult for you, can't you just go to bed earlier?!

Just joking no yanbu

[RhiWrites]

@winnebago
I'd be concerned... and then angry when I found out they were just feeling chatty at the crack of dawn.