aibu to think this school should let my ds get the SCHOOL bus?

[Doubtfuldaphne]

ds was issued a free bus pass on the basis that the nearest school is full. Now it turns out the bus is for 6th formers only and they want me to tear up the pass and for him to get on public transport (new pass provided for this)
He's only 13, a little naive and shy. Never been anywhere without me really.
They want him to leave at 7am to get two connecting buses to school. He won't get home until 5pm as he'll have to wait around the town centre for the next bus back to our village.
Before moving to this village, we were told the bus would be an option as long as he had a pass.
I don't drive..I can't afford to. I have no other way of getting DS to school now.
The council are blaming the school and the school are blaming the council. Now the EWO is saying that getting a public bus is perfectly reasonable.
I'm pulling my hair out here!

[Doubtfuldaphne]

I still don't think it's right for a school to expect a 13 yr old to have to do it when there's a perfectly adequate mini bus he could use that stops right outside our house. Why are the older sixth formers given this when the younger ones have to do the longer trip?

[Hakluyt]

Are there seats on the bus?

Who runs the bus?

Are there lots of other kids going from your village to the school?

[ChoudeBruxelles]

He needs to start doing things without you. He's 13.

I took two buses to and from secondary school. Lots of kids do. It's really not that big a deal

[Doubtfuldaphne]

There are about five from this village going to the school. They've all raised similar concerns but they must be rich as they pay for taxis every day. The school run the bus and there are empty seats.

[ChoudeBruxelles]

Can you talk to the parent of the other kids and see how they get their children to school.

It's really not dangerous getting buses

[AnyoneForTennis]

How does your son feel about it?

[DoJo]

But if they make an exception for your son, just because you think he can't manage the normal bus, then they could end up with scores of other children wanting to take the bus as well. If you could identify what you think is unsafe about the route he will have to take, then it might be easier to understand why you are so dead set against him using public transport when that's what thousands of children his age and younger do every day.

[DoJo]

But if they make an exception for your son, just because you think he can't manage the normal bus, then they could end up with scores of other children wanting to take the bus as well. If you could identify what you think is unsafe about the route he will have to take, then it might be easier to understand why you are so dead set against him using public transport when that's what thousands of children his age and younger do every day.

[magpiegin]

You have all summer to get him used to getting the bus, you can do the journey with him a few times and he can try it by himself without the pressure of getting to school in time. For most children, getting a few busses to school is no big deal.

[LIZS]

It might pick others up along the way. Just because there are seats at yours doesn't mean it doesn't fill up further down the route. Also there may be a longstanding issue over transport. Several times our LA have tried to do away with specific buses/free transport to force encourage people to send their dc in particular directions so maybe yours is phasing this service out and these are the final year groups who qualified.

[LIZS]

and it isn't about safety . dd's peers have been getting public transport since beginning of year7.

[PinkSquash]

Is the public transport dangerous or is your child unable to travel alone?

Most children travel to school by themselves from 11. Including buses, trains, tubes or walking.

It is your responsibility to ensure your child gets to school. Not the schools responsibility.

[PatriciaHolm]

Maybe they have had issues before with younger children getting the bus. It also may come back at a different time if the sixth form run different hours, or the bus company may only be insured for over 16s.

There shouldn't be any reason why your 13 year old can't make his own way on buses to school though, it's very standard practise from 11.

[AnyoneForTennis]

How's he been managing since he turned 11?

[offtoseethewizard64]

I caught the public service bus to/from school from the age of 9 (middle school system). If the bus didn't turn up or i missed it, I walked to a different bus stop and caught a bus on a different route that stopped a mile from home and walked the rest of the way. I did have a bus pass but I didn't have a mobile phone (they weren't invented).
I can understand why you are annoyed, but believe me your DS will become far more independent and less naive and shy if you 'teach' him how to use public transport safely.

[joanofarchitrave]

I can see the frustration and it sounds like a crap journey, but also doable at his age. I was the dreamiest, least organised 11 year old imaginable and I somehow got through a similar journey to school with various incidents along the way including lost tickets, wrong routes, walking chunks of it when things went wrong etc etc. It didn't exactly make me the woman I am today (i'm still really disorganised) but it did make me a bit more resourceful and slightly more aware.

I think your options are, go with the public transport or move somewhere more accessible. what's with the driving? Can you drive or is it petrol/road tax costs that make it impossible?

[littleducks]

Sounds to me like the school want to stop the bus service and is waiting for these sixth formers to leave. I would probably push as hard as I could for it if it stops so close to home.

If it didn't work out could you try and chip in share a taxi with other local kids if you don't think a public bus would work.

[DoJo]

I was assuming it was an upper school rather than secondary so a new school to the OP's son, but could be wrong (often am!).

[WestmorlandSausage]

there may be a completely separate funding stream for the 16 - 19 year old minibus, possibly something to do with the 16 to 19 Bursary Fund.

by the age of 13 I had already had 2 part time jobs, got public transport an hour each way to school, with a 2 mile walk each end down country lanes, could cook a variety of hot nutritious meals and could drive a tractor doing simple tractor jobs around the farm. I was a member of a club that was a mixture of young adults and children and had bee given a position of responsibility (assistant secretary)

He is 13 not 3. Let him grow up.

[ElephantsNeverForgive]

I wouldn't be very happy about this. Having to get up earlier, hang about between buses and get home at 5pm then do HW is shit.

I know DC do it, but if there is an alternative it would grate.

DD2 is 13, she's been to town on the bus with her DF once, last week.

Not over protective parents, just you have to drive several miles to the bus stop so it really isn't worth it, I might as well take them and use the petrol to shop myself.

Also I'm totally at the idea a 13y would mind being with the sixth form. DD1 is 16, her lot are nicer, less vulgar and far far less bitchy and liable to bully people than the 13-15y.

It was a lovely sixthformer who stopped DD1 being bulied on the bus when she was younger.

[TheFairyCaravan]

If it's anything like DS2's 6th form bus pass, that costs us £599 a year. If he reaches the magic percentage for attendance then the college will give us £200 back at the end. So, in all likelihood the sixth formers aren't "being given anything"!

I would imagine that next year there will be more 6th formers on the bus, so no rom for the younger kids, or there is a funding issue. Yes, it is a long day for your DS but it is for all rural living DC. My kids did days like that from aged 11. He is 13, you need to let him go and do his own thing. He will always be young for his age and naive until you let him experience things that help him to grow up in line with his peers.

[Doubtfuldaphne]

Thank you elephantsneverforgive! Finally someone who agrees!
The sixth formers are indeed lovely. I've not come across one who acts like an idiot! I was quite surprised to read peoples perceptions of sixth form pupils on here.

[BackforGood]

How has he managed for the last 2 years?
Can you explain why a school would put on a minibus for 6th formers who presumably have been getting to school on public transport for the last 5 years - it doesn't sound as if we have the full story here.
If there are at least 5 others from your village going, would it not be possible to work a deal for a regular contract with a taxi company? - between 6 it might be affordable.
Generally, I would expect a 13 yr old to be able to travel by bus to school though.

[lljkk]

If other parents are paying for taxis can you ask if your son gets a lift in and do some kind of favour in return (doesn't have to mean you paying any money).

I agree why the 6th formers get a bus &the younger ones don't IS odd. But I would probably prefer my 13yo went on public transport than be mixed with concentrated 16-18yos.