6 yr old being assaulted at school

[Sickofthesnow]

Im not going to namechange as this will out me anyway to people I know but I'm past caring.

My 6 year old son is in Primary 2, and ever since he started Primary school he has had issues on and off with being bullied. He's a sensitive boy and not rough and tumble, which seems to make him a target as a lot of the other boys in his school are boisterous and quite rough.

So we had issues in P1, and we had meetings with head teacher etc as my son was crying scared to go to school at times and he was a nervous wreck :( Things would calm down, then it would slowly go back to namecalling, hitting on the fly etc.

This year (from August) a few new families moved to the school, and to be perfectly honest they're a nightmare. One family has a boy that is 5 who has been suspended a few times already, is violent, disruptive and generally a pain in the backside. The parents think it is funny (you hear them in playground laughing about it with others) I'm fully aware that families have their problems and we don't know what happens behind closed doors so we've always went down the route of going to school, putting in a complaint that son was hit, kicked, scratched etc.
Last few months there has been no consistency with the school as head teacher moved on and there is yet to be a head appointed, so the place is a bit chaotic. The teachers still lovely, staff friendly etc but the unruly kids seem to be taking over.
The violence has increased, and daily you can see a group of boys fighting in the playground before 9am! I mean kicking, punching, swearing. And this is 5,6,7 year olds.

Anyway, to get to the point my son was targeted by this group quite a few times this year and it got to the stage the boys weren't allowed out to play at lunch time or playtime as they were so violent. But the little one in P1 got hold of my son one day as he was going to the toilet during classtime, swore at him and kicked him in between the legs really hurting him. My son ended up with a huge bruise and I understandably told the school I was sick to the back teeth of it.

So the school promised to sort it out - how, I don't know - and for a few weeks things were quiet again.

Now it has been creeping up slowly and we've had enough. We've requested to local council to be moved to another school. We've visited the school, children love it, everything is so calm, much more staff and consistency and just seems better suited.
My OH has been very much "If one more thing happens to him I'm pulling him out of that school" for a few months now out of sheer annoyance at how upset our son is each morning about going to school.

Fast forward to Friday, he was pushed on the grass, hit a few times then kicked in the private area between his legs. By the same little P1.

We don't WANT our son back in that environment! School ends in 11 days (scotland) and my OH is very much saying he's NOT going.


So if you got this far THANK YOU. I know OH is NBU to feel this way but I feel it will put a bad impression on us at the new school if we tell the school that he's not coming in end of story! I fear we may end up with truancy officer etc but I'm at a complete loss.
What on earth can we do?! WIBU to just keep him off these last days of term and claim he is ill!?
Please don't flame me for the suggestion, I'm just one very tired, lost parent

[andsmile]

Keep him home they are failing to repeatedly safeguard your DS well being on number of levels. School should NOT be like this.

You've got him another place so thats done - well done for not putting up with it and voting with your feet.

Write a letter to the HT (new), Governors LEA and Ofsted detailing how you feel the school has let your son down. - if you want to may help get some closure.

Enjoy doing some nice things with your son he sounds like he has been through the mill. My DS is similar to yours and I feel like im always having to counsel him in dealing with one other boy. Im at the point of putting in writing I would like him in a seperate group or class next year.

[cloutiedumpling]

I don't know if the police would be willing to be involved - the child who is assaulting the OP's son is below the age of criminal responsibility. I think they are likely to view it as a civil matter. Unfortunately, Ofsted wouldn't be able to act as the OP is in Scotland.

I'd second home schooling until the end of the year and would notify the school and LA accordingly. I wouldn't send my DCs back to the school either. I wouldn't be surprised if there aren't a number of other parents looking to move their DCs too. I'd keep all the worksheets / jotters etc that your son writes in over the next two weeks so that you can demonstrate if necessary that you were educating him over that time. Best wishes OP for a fresh start in August.

[dawndonnaagain]

The police would be able to involve social services to ensure the parenting is as it should be.
Again, as others have said, write to the school, the governors and the education authority stating that the school have failed in their duty of care and keep the poor mite home.
Hope things improve for you all.

[insancerre]

I am sure the police would hwt involved. Being under the age of prosecution doesn't mean they won't do anything.
It might be a price of the jigsaw to get as more involved and be important on getting those families back on track

[Idontseeanyicegiants]

OP if you look on the Home Education website (he-uk I think) theres a template letter requesting de-registration and an intention to home educate. It should cover all the bases until the start of the new school year.

[Icimoi]

I'm amazed you've left him there as long as you have, to be honest. The school seems to be out of control, and I certainly wouldn't send my child somewhere which clearly is incapable of keeping him seafe.

[Icimoi]

Safe, even.

[Only1scoop]

Yanbu

No way should this be allowed to go on.

[NickiFury]

Go to GP and get him signed off from school. You CAN do this, I have a number of times when my ds with ASD was unable to cope.

Then send THAT letter to the LA with another one making a formal complaint as to how this has been dealt with.

There's no way on this earth my child would go back to that school and tbh I would have pulled him out before now.

[Howstricks]

I'm so sorry that you as a family and your little chap have had to go through this. I hope the next year and the new school are much, much better for him.

[Howstricks]

And definately keep him off...whether through GP or demanding a meeting with school or whatever..he is 6 years old and needs you to stand up for him and keep him safe.(which you are, so bloody well done!!).

[softlysoftly]

Keep him off

write to absolute everyone. School, lea, ofsted, local police.

go kick the parents on the balls

[Fortheloveofralph]

Yes email the present school (class teacher and head), the LEA, ofsted, the ESW (educational welfare officer) and the new school head (all in one email so they can see who got copies) stating that your child has been removed from x school as of x date as x school has failed in its duty of care to your son (use the words duty of care as its the correct lingo!) Sadly your son has been bullied and cannot attend x school due to continual physical assaults which have effected him deeply and taken all his confidence. If they have any queries please contact you on this email address. Follow up with an additional email to his new school stating that you forwarded then the initial email to keep them in the picture and that you hope your application to new school goes smoothly as you were so impressed when you looked around recently.

[Fortheloveofralph]

I think keeping him off will help force things through new school wise.

[Fortheloveofralph]

The LEA will start to make investigations - make sure you put bullying on the LEA form for why you all left. The more people that do it, the better chance for change there is

[IndridCold]

Do exactly what fortheloveofralph says, and do an extra copy for your MP/MSP too. In fact, if I were you I would be going to see them about this?

It is totally shocking that a group of such young boys are so out of control at school. Don't send your little boy back there. Poor little boy, I'm welling up just thinking what he has been through. What sort of state are we in that teachers and other adults stand around helpless while this goes on unchecked?

[Singsongmama]

My friend had a daughter at a school (Scotland - p6) and her arm was broken by another pupil. My friend reported it to the police and went hell for leather to get this pupil done with assault. Local police investigated but did nothing except speak to the boy in question. It is a matter for the school, council, hmie and possibly SS as suggested but I doubt police will get involved. I'd be interested to hear from anyone in the police about this....

OP...what a dreadful shame for your little boy, it's just awful and no child should have to fear violence.

[drivenbyyou]

Keep him off. Don't even bother with the home ed thing if you're not doing it anyway - and they don't fine anyone up here so don't worry about that. If you want, a note to the stand-in head saying why you're keeping him off will be sufficient. They do very, very little this close to the end of school (if anything - my lot have got sports days, school concert, shifting classrooms, etc) and it will give your wee one a bit breathing space.

Depending on what part of Scotland you're in, it's highly unlikely you won't get into the school you want to change him to - and if there are another 2 in the vicinity, you won't have to send him back to what sounds like a nightmare.

You don't owe the school the reek of your fart, considering they've done very little and you've been very patient - more patient than I was. It's not worth the stress for you or him. Hope he's feeling ok.

[Soggysandpit]

GPs don't sign children off school by the way. It is up to the parent to write a letter, HPs only get involved generally at the request of social services.

[Nancy66]

Totally agree with others.

Your poor lad. I can't imagine what it must be like to be 6 years old and terrified of going to school.

[giggly]

Some parents are real shockers so no wonder their kids end up wee shitbags. Sounds really horrible for all of you. My dd aged 8 was bullied when we moved to Australia for her Scottish accent went on for a year and ended up with her head being hit off the ground. The boy in question was segregated in the (very large) play field and duty teachers watched him or my dd at every break but he still got .

I threatened a violence restraining order which here in OZ can be applied to kids, funnily enough he stopped the next day as the parents would be charged as well.

I would check out with the HT any legal protection your son is entitled to and I would think twice about keeping him off unless he wants to go to school.
Good luck.

[giggly]

" would'nt think twice"

[Sickofthesnow]

We kept trying to work with the school as we have other children there who love it there. But when these new kids moved in August they seemed to work their way through the younger boys trying their luck with picking on them to see who would fight back or not.

Some of the things that these children come out with is worrying, and clearly they have heard or seen inappropriate things. And I have went down the right lines of telling the school, as they actually told me the more complaints go in, the quicker they can build a case.
But clearly it's not working and my child comes first.

Sadly the other children are not so happy about leaving the school as they have friends there, however they realise that it's for the best.

Fortheloveofralph thank you. I will do this first thing tomorrow morning.

singsongmana that is terrible

[Sickofthesnow]

giggly you're spot on. These parents think it is hilarious that their child has been suspended for fighting, breaking other kids belonging, one even smashed a window. I'm sorry but go back to stricter schools and they would be bloody expelled not suspended for a few days then back to square one.

[AmIthatSpringy]

Agree with the majority, keep him off. And also agree that it might be worth seeing I the can go to the new school for the lat week. If there are places available then the Placing Request will be granted.

Ignore posts telling you to contact boards of governors or Ofsted. They clearly haven't read from your posts that you are in Scotland and we don't have these.

I do agree that you should put in a complaint to the local authority, head of education, if you check the Council website, they will have an email address for complaints. It will be passed to the appropriate education officer to investigate and respond.

You could also complain to Education Scotland (was HMIe) but they will probably suggest you complain through thenCouncil' process first.

And yes, report to the police. Schools will often suggest this, as they can be limited in what punishments they give out. POlice involvement will be way more effective