Or is DH re pool

[popmimiboo]

I live abroad. It's not sunny all year round but we get good summers and it's not uncommon to have a swimming pool. Lots of the DCs friends have pools, either real dug in ones or free standing ones (like really big paddling pools, around 12-15ft.)

My DM has offered to buy a pool for the kids. She's mentioned it in the past but is v keen to now. DC are pre-teens and would LOVE one.

DH says no. Categorically, he is not willing to discuss it, no. He thinks he'll be the one left to clean it, sort out chemicals, ph levels etc. Basically thinks it's too much hassle.

I think he's being extremely unfair and unnecessarily harsh on DC. For starters, they are old enough to deal with maintenance. I also feel bad saying no to my mum who just wants to give a gift that the DC would appreciate and get lots of use out of.
IHBU and WIBU to accept the pool and just sort it out myself without his "permission"?

[parentalunit]

Just say no to the pool. They are a PITA. Get a paddling pool or one of those infinity pools instead and sell it once the novelty wears off

[TheWholeOfTheSpoon]

We have a pretty big in-ground pool in our garden and I find it really easy to maintain. We get the pool guys to open and close it, but other than that, we maintain it ourselves. It has a vacuum robot that cleans it and we test the water every other day. The kids do the the water testing and skimming the leaves out but DH and I do the chemicals, as it's too much of a risk to mess that up.

We used to have one of those above ground pools and it was way more effort than a "real" pool.

The only negative we have is that it's ugly in the winter with it's winter cover on. But then, here it snows a lot so half the time, we can't really see it!

[MummyLuce]

Just do it without his agreement! I would, he sounds like a bit of a kill joy. He should suck it up and accept that parenting brings many tasks,one of them being pool cleaning so his children can have a lovely time.

[Rainbunny]

I used to live in San Diego where there's a popular line of work in companies who will fill-in backyard pools to reclaim the backyard. Our real estate broker told us that houses with swimming pools don't sell as well they've become so unpopular. Of course there is always the beach option in San Diego so pools aren't very necessary. If water is a cheap commodity in your area then that's good because keeping the pool topped up every month is the most expensive part of having a pool. You'd better make sure your backyard is very secure as well as having a pool is considered an "attractive nuisance" in California, meaning if other kids sneak into your yard and use the pool you would be liable for any injuries that might happen unless you made the pool area secure from intruders (I don't know where you live so the law may be different.) I'd check with your home insurance company as well about expanding coverage for pool.

[Joysmum]

As the person in my family who is fed up with others saying they'll do something and then not doing it so it makes extra work for me, I agree with your DH.

[SquinkiesRule]

I'm with your Dh. We had a free standing above ground 15 foot pool, it was a real pain, took lots of time and energy for fairly little use.
We didn't get one with the next house we bought and bought an annual subscription to the local Clubhouse with a pool and tennis courts, playground, ponds etc. Got much more use of that as there were friends for my kids to play with. Our best friends actually got rid of the pool after two summers as it was cheaper to have the club membership than maintain their pool. Her boys never stayed in the water more than 30 mins at a time all summer but at the clubhouse they spent the whole day in and out of water. (we were in California living at this time)

[CrohnicallyHungry]

I'm going to go against the grain here.

We had a pool, here in the UK, when I was younger. We LOVED it! It got used more than twice, I can tell you. The first remotely sunny day and we would take off the winter cover and get in there. Yes it was freezing (the special solar cover years around the top inch of water), but once you're in and moving around, you don't notice it as much. Some of my favourite memories are of that pool.

I don't remember there being that much maintenance, but maybe we were just lucky. There was a pump and filter attached. Once a week or so mum would vacuum the bottom/sides and add the chemicals. We fished out stuff with a net as we spotted it. One thing that helped keep it clean was a washing up bowl of water next to the pool, and we had to rinse our feet before getting in, so it stopped grass and mud going in the pool. It was only ever filled and emptied once - when we put it up, and when we got rid of it. Over winter it had extra chemicals added and a full cover put on.

What wasn't so fun was the time it sprung a leak. We had an underwater leak fixing kit. But it involved my dad going into the pool to find and fix the leak. In the middle of winter- he had to break the layer of ice on top before he could get in!

[GnomeDePlume]

We lived in the Netherlands and had one. It was great. As LtEve says it really isnt a lot of work.

Where we were we were able to scoot over to France every few weeks to do a bit of normal shopping (buying a piece of meat larger than a pork chop is nigh on impossible in NL). At the same time we would stock up on treatment.

Testing was no real work, a couple of tablets in a sample of water. Cleaning was part of the fun for grownups as on a hot day it is rather nice to play with water.

DH loved it as when he had been for a run afterwards he would get in the pool to cool off.

Kids loved it as they could get straight in and cool off after school.

[DaVinciNight]

May I suggest that instead of asking people on MN who are mainly living in the UK, where really having an outside pool is just a waste of time, you actually ask people living where you are?

Where I am coming from, it is quite usual to have a pool like this. Yes it requires work, chemicals etc... but the benefits of having a pool far outweigh any efforts needed to keep it clean.
I also have only seen green pools when people never looked after their pool properly, eg keep the water over winter but then don't do anything with it until the beginning of summer.
Hoover is done on its own, you just have to put it in the pool.
Chemicals take a few minutes
You do need to have the water 'cleaned' but people usually have some automatic pumps.

I think both you and your DH need to do your homework there.

Note: I am not convinced the sort of pool you are talking about actually doesn't need more work than a proper dug in one for the simple reason that you end up having to do a lot of the cleaning work manually.

[MidniteScribbler]

Honestly, if I hadn't bought this house with a pool already in, then I would have just got a spa/jacuzzi/hot tub (depending on what part of the world you live in lol). If you just want it for sitting, then it can also be used all winter. I have a spa as well as my pool and I just drop the spa temperature in summer and still use it a lot. If I could only have one, I'd have the spa.

[Butkin]

An above ground pool was definitely the worst thing we ever bought. Takes hours to fill it and of course it's cold (being from the hose) - we could never get it really hot enough in England to swim in.

We bought all the chemicals and it was a real faff having to test them and change them every week - the bubble thing is a joke if you live in UK. We did keep a cover on it to keep the leaves etc off but then it's quite hard to remove it without everything dropping in.

We couldn't let the dog in the garden because he'd rip it and of course all the grass underneath it died so even though we only had it up for year (and used it twice I think) it spoilt our garden for a couple of years.

[Ludways]

If we lived somewhere warm enough for a pool it'd be a no brainer, I'd rather have a pool than electricity in the house and dh knows that, lol

He's bvvvvvu!

[artic]

worse thing we got was a pool , cost a lot to buy , damaged the grass underneath , made everything around it muddy , had things breeding in it because we didnt keep the chemicals topped up , eldest kept getting rashes from the chemicals , dog got excited by a bee that landed on the side and bit a huge hole in it , that was one crap summer .

[MrsKoala]

My dh won't even have grass in the garden in case he has to mow it. Let alone a pool

I had grass laid in our old house on the condition that he would never ever have to do any gardening or mowing. There I was 2 summers ago one week over due with grass up to my shins dragging the mower round the garden. I won't have grass again for a while as with 2 little ones I won't be able to maintain it and I now know dh won't. At all. Even a bit.

[LtEveDallas]

Ok, how much work is it? I'm thinking it's a case of throwing a cover over it at night, scooping out leaves (we have a lot of trees), changing the filter (once a weekish?) and a big scrub down at the end of summer

A 12 ft diameter intex pool with water filter was the second purchase we made when we moved to Cyprus.

We bought a floating chlorine pod, hoover, thermo cover and net with it. The filter needs cleaning at least weekly (easy done) and changing monthly. You can bulk buy filters on Amazon. It was hoovered and scrubbed once a week (at the same time the filter was cleaned). The chlorine pod stayed in overnight.

It wasn't any hassle at all, and was a life saver when the heat topped 40 degrees. You could also do what we did and rig a mozzie net over it (using a gazebo frame) which helped with creepy crawlies!

I think your DH IBVU

[LadyNexus]

You didn't tell us op...if he doesn't want a pool but you badger him in to one are YOU going to do all of the testing/skimming/hoovering/shocking etc.?

If I was your DH I'd be getting some posters up.

'Your pool needs you!'

'Ask not what your pool can do for you, but what you can do for your pool'

[Spottybra]

Just keep going on and on and on about how much they will love it. Mine usually gives in after a weekend (disclaimer, he is only home weekends so I don't have a week to work on it).

On the other hand....just say yes and tell your mum its to be a part birthday gift for all your dc?

[Toapointlordcopper]

We have a pool and its a pain in the arse. We thought we'd be fine without a generator, reality is that when we are heating the pool (It is 1.4 deep and around 4m diameter so very small) it takes more than 60% of the electricity supply for the whole house, so for the week it takes to get to the good temp at the beginning of summer we have dimmed lights and blown bulbs and cant use microwaves and similar. Same when we need to heat it a bit on ongoing basis (and you need to heat pools. We had unheated in south Africa and never used it because always too cold even though not a huge depth/surface ratio). If you are not OCD-strict with chemicals it will turn 'slimy' in around 3 days and then take ages to rebalance. And if you live somewhere prone to lightning strikes be prepared for the water to turn totally green around 4 times a season - again requiring extensive rebalancing.

Chemicals cost a fortune, and you need to keep at it all the time.

We are about to clean and refill ours and the kids will love using it, but I am dreading it. I always insisted that we have one of the small 'above ground' polls to start with before going to expensive of digging out a real pool. So glad I did as I know know I won't ever get a proper pool as the hassle is just beyond all enjoyment. I would consider one only if I were to budget also for full maintenance, full generator and proper cover to allow for the season to extend enough to get value out of using it.

[popmimiboo]

Ok, so IWBU to go behind his back, then.
Will have to work on winning him over but it's going be hard. The DC might have left home before he agrees!

[popmimiboo]

Midnite -no regulations about above ground pools where I live.
We have an outdoor pool in our village for jumping, diving and racing. The idea of this is just for chilling and cooling off after a long day at school!

[HecatePropylaea]

You are kidding, aren't you?

It's a HUGE amount of work!

We have one. (not a proper one or a posh one or anything, just one of these here ) but we've sunk it into the ground, so you only see about a foot and a half above the ground.

You have to test the water weekly, adjust it as required so that it keeps the proper ph, clean it properly (skim it several times a week as well as doing other cleaning such as hoovering the bottom and scrubbing the sides), here in the UK it needs winterising (which is a huge job), you have to make sure the pump is maintained, keep the cover clean (ours is a bugger for getting manky!), 'shock' it now and again (this is basically dumping an eye watering amount of chlorine into it!)

I seriously doubt your 13, 12 and 8 year olds would be able to take care of the pool so yeah, it would no doubt fall to you and your husband.

[QuintessentiallyQS]

What is the point of just sitting there in water?

[wobblyweebles]

A smaller one still need chemicals.

[popmimiboo]

Hayday -I'm not sure you even get free standing deeper than 1 metre (ok 1m20)! We'll never get a sunk in one if DH is putting up this amount of protest to a £200 plastic one!

[MidniteScribbler]

My previous house had an above ground pool and it was a nightmare. Cost me a fortune to try and keep it usable, and in the end I sold it for peanuts to some other sucker person who wanted one for her kids. Was so glad to see the end of it. I really don't blame your DH, those sort of pools are a pain in the butt, they're not big enough to be able to keep the balance of chemical needed for lovely clean swimming water.

One metre deep isn't all that much for teenagers. They'll really not get to do too much than float around or sit in it. They're going to want to splash, dive and play games, and will be pretty restricted with that size pool.

Depending on where you live, you may also have to pay to have a pool fence installed. Even the cheapie above ground pools need to have council approval and proper fencing to be left in the backyard, otherwise you have to fill and empty them every single time you want to use it.

I now have a proper in-ground pool and love it. I got the automatic chlorinators, pool cover and automatic cleaner installed, so it is genuinely very little maintenance. I'd never have an above ground one again.