To think people being really early for things are as inconvenient as people being really late?

[Freckletoes]

I'm an "arrive with seconds to spare" kind of person now I have kids. If I think I am going to be late for something I will do my best to let someone know. I prefer to make arrangement that are a bit flexible-"between 10 and half past" type of thing. If I have something really important to get too and there is a chance of bad traffic or similar I will set off ridiculously early and if I arrive way before the time expected I will wait in the car or get a drink etc. But I have had 2 occasions this week (and more in the past) where people have arranged to come to me for things then arrive up to an hour before the agreed time (and a definite time, not an in between thing). First occasion I was in the bath, second occasion this morning I was having a cheeky lie in when a neighbour popped in (actually in the house as is his way ) way before arranged and before 8 am! I have in the past had people disgruntled because I am not in an agreed place 30 minutes before an agreed time. AIBU or should I be ready for arranged things way before they are meant to happen?!

[CremeEggThief]

YABU- being too early is much worse than being a little late!

[HumptyDumptyBumpty]

I used to have this at work - events manager. People would turn up as I was setting up an event, often on my own, and refuse to go and have a coffee/amuse themselves whilst I set up the room, put out chairs, saw to speakers, sorted out catering etc. The worst was two ladies who'd travelled from Scotland to London and were THREE HOURS early (conference, takes ages to set up). They arrived as I did. Apparently having traveled so far, they weren't 'paying for some stupid London coffee at ten quid a pop' so I made them sit on chairs at the edge of the room, and being mean did teas and coffees last so they had to wait two hours with no refreshments. They could have got a later train, so I was entirely unsympathetic to their sighs at how thirsty they were buy a bottle of water FFS.

I used to get apoplectic, frankly. It's unnecessary, rude and inconsiderate. I had a proper fight (in a terribly polite, professional manner ) with a chap over it once. I had to keep an eye on two cash boxes until staff arrived, and he wouldn't budge, meaning I'd have been unable to set up and deal with the speaker (two rooms).
I threatened to cancel the day if he didn't leave and come back in an hour. He did.

I've also switched off the lights and locked the venue door and hidden to discourage stupidly early birds. It makes me just remembering!

[WitchWay]

I'm usually in the vicinity of my destination a little too early as I hate being late, but wouldn't actually arrive until the right time.

[LumionaMoonsplash]

Yep I hate this too, late I can deal with but early is so annoying. My pil and bil all arrive at least an hour before they agree to, last time was 2 hours early. I was heading out to go shopping. I have to smile and seethe at the same time.

[MoominAndMiniMoom]

got a cob on

Love it haven't heard that phrase for ages!

No it's just predictable that some of us will come in and post genuine apologetic explanations for why being on time is a struggle (not just late, I've turned up an hour early for things in the past :( ), and people will respond with "that's bullshit, you just value your time more than you value others, how selfish".

[DontGiveAwayTheHomeworld]

Relying on public transport means I tend to be early to things, but that's what benches and headphones are for. I use the extra time to chill out, particularly before work.

If friends show up to my house early, I get them to make the tea. They know where everything is, and they know they're welcome to have a snack/watch telly if I'm not ready yet. Anyone else doing it would annoy me because then I'm expected to play host!

[Freckletoes]

Oooooo moomins got a cob on!

Glad it's not just me then! And I am talking really early-10-15 mins is acceptable (but would prefer not thank you very much!) but an hour or even hours early......why?!?

[MuttonCadet]

When people are early at my house I give them a duster or some cutlery and get them to help out.

[Catswiththumbs]

Being really early is far worse than being late.

My FIL was due to arrive "anytime after 4".

I got a phone call at 12pm asking were I was because he had been sat outside for half an hour. He had also stopped at 2 service stations on the drive up here, so he "wouldn't be so early". What would possess you to set off 8 hours before you needed to be somewhere, that is at very best 3 and a half hours away!!


I drove back from seeing my ill family member, let him in, made him a brew and stuck the telly on and left him to it and did the cleaning that would have been done if he had have been on time.

[KeepingUpAnon]

I hate this, it's so so rude.

On ds1's 4th birthday we arranged a big party at home to start at 1pm. We had about 30 people coming, 10 friends from school and a few parents and the whole family. Ds's Godfather and his girlfriend turned up at just gone 11. The kids were running around naked, I was in my dressing gown hoovering the stairs and dh was midway through doing the buffet. So inconvenient.

[fairnotfair]

I'm early for everything. Being late makes me feel almost ill. But I won't actually arrive until the designated time - I'll go for a walk, look around the shops, have a coffee or whatever, until the time is right.

I'm happy to be 5 mins early for a business meeting or an interview, but I'd never turn up at somebody's house early. (Come to that, if I'm going to somebody's house for supper or lunch, I wouldn't arrive on the dot either; I think it's more polite in these circs to be a few minutes late, rather than knocking the door down)

However, IMO it's never acceptable to be late collecting your DC from a party!

[PrincessBabyCat]

Oh god not one of these threads again how long until the first "Late people have no excuses, all their excuses are rubbish and made up, you just value your own time above everyone else's" bull comes out?

Followed by the "Well, I'm fine waiting 3 hours, that's what drinks and appetizers are for!". There's just no middle ground on this I'm afraid.

[HmmAnOxfordComma]

Really early IS just as rude as really late.

Just wait around the corner, FFS, if you must set off early.

I've had GPs turn up for meals/parties two hour early and I'm still cleaning the floor!

Up to 15 mins early or late is fine, I think. Any more, not so much.

[GoringBit]

I always try to arrive 10-15 minutes late, but that's because we're never ready for guests on time.

[MoominAndMiniMoom]

Oh god not one of these threads again how long until the first "Late people have no excuses, all their excuses are rubbish and made up, you just value your own time above everyone else's" bull comes out?

[ICanSeeTheSun]

Hate it when people arrive early, but they know where the wine is and I continue doing what needs to be done.

Then I tell them sort the music out.

[candycoatedwaterdrops]

Really early and really late are equally annoying IMO.

[StrawberryMoose]

Gah, yanbu! I hate it when people arrive too early and I find it more than inconvenient. This definitely is one of my pet hates.

I will sit in the car and wait or walk around the block to avoid rocking up earlier than planned and inconveniencing whoever I'm visiting.

I have a friend who is always guaranteed to be anything up to 45 mins early. I always have to account for this and make sure I'm not caught out in the shower or hoovering or something!!

[Lauren83]

MrsItsNoworNotatAll

I'm sure most people don't mind especially if there's a waiting area, but in my job if someone arrives early one of my team then has to make small talk for often 40 minutes with them which is awkward all round especially when they are busy and there's nowhere for them to sit

I did have one guy turn up at 10.20am for a 12 noon interview recently, I thought he had the time wrong but he didn't, I said do you want to come back at 12, he said ok see you at 11 I will come back then, I had to insist 11.55am was the earliest he was to return... Odd

[Lilaclily]

My inlaws do this
We invited them for Xmas one time
They said they'd travel up Xmas day (4 hour drive) to avoid Xmas eve traffic
Great, I thought , we'll get the morning together in pjs drinking bucks fizz, loads of time to prep dinner
They left at 6am & arrived at 10am
we were expecting them at 1pm

Or we invite them for the weekend & they say they'll come on the Thursday and stay until Monday for fecks sake

[FryOneFatManic]

I generally arrange to be somewhere 5-10 mins before the agreed time, although it will depend on the activity/location, etc.

I would not be happy at someone turning up, especially at my house, earlier than this, as I'd likely be doing stuff/getting ready.

Anyone getting cross with me for not being somewhere 30 mins before an agreed time would be told to stop being silly; if they'd wanted you there at a certain time, to explicitly state that time and not assume that you somehow understand they meant 30 mins earlier.

[MuttonCadet]

I'd rather people were early than late.

[PrincessBabyCat]

If I'm ever early to a designated spot it's probably because I wanted to grab a coffee or something first. I am lousy with time, so I'm either really early or really late who am I kidding, I'm never early. But I never arrive on time to people's houses. It's weird. At least here in the US it's just normal to be 15 minutes late to a house party, and you're a bit dorky if you arrive on the dot.

FIL arrives early to things and it drives me nuts. It's his own fault if he's waiting in the restaurant, not mine.

[restandpeace]

My pil doi it all the time... Does my head inxx