To want to leave the toddler dance class after poisonous post on Facebook

[OlderMummy1]

I take my 2 year old to a dance class every week. She absolutely loves it and all of the other mums seemed lovely. We have been going for over a year and I have a close friendship with a couple of mums but just know the others to say hello to.

There are 2 new mums in the group who talk all through the session. It is very distracting to the children and can be annoying, particularly when they are more focused on chatting than their children but these things happen from time to time at various groups I go to. The usual dance teacher is quite strict about parents talking but she is on maternity leave, the cover teacher lets it go.

There have been a few incidences over the last few weeks. One of the mums was chatting and didn't notice that her child had had an accident and done a puddle on the floor, another mum had to tell her. This week, again the mum was not paying attention and her child smashed a maraca on the floor causing it to split open and the beads inside to go everywhere. This was dangerous as it caused a safety hazard. Shockingly, the mum didn't notice due to talking, even when her child was sobbing. In the end her child was so upset that they had to leave.

Then yesterday a post appeared on the Facebook wall of the dance group with lots of mums tagged and the content was absolutely shocking! It complained about the talking mums but also made awful personal remarks....honestly if you read it you would be shocked! I was!

Now, the poster had a point as they do disrupt the class but there was absolutely no need for some of the content of the post. It would have been better to just have a quiet word with the teacher.

I now have to decide whether to enrol for another term. It is a lovely class and my daughter loves it. However, I now feel like I am back at school due to the bitchiness surrounding this incident. I am dreading going next week as the atmosphere will be awful and everyone will be suspected of knowing who posted the message. Am I being daft to just want a quiet life and not want to be involved with a group like this??

[OlderMummy1]

They don't keep a record of any adults watching the class? Should they? Are they supposed to even if a parent is with them at all times?

[FunkyBoldRibena]

Rise above it, keep calm and carry on?

[Selks]

If your daughter loves the class then it would be a shame for her to lose this over something like this. OP I would suggest just being thick skinned, pretend you haven't seen the FB post and carry on as if nothing has happened. This is an activity for your daughter after all, not something primarily for your enjoyment (sorry)... Although I do sympathise, it sounds pretty unpleasant.

[MiscellaneousAssortment]

Lordy, vindictive posts.

Do you have the contact details of the teacher who's on mat leave? I'm just wondering if she should be warned that her class is imploding. She won't have a business to come back to between the stand in leader not keeping order, and now this.

[OlderMummy1]

I did wonder whether I should contact her and politely say that I am feeling a bit awkward about all this (thus checking that she has seen the message) and maybe enquiring about moving to a different group.

[Viviennemary]

If your DD enjoys the class no need to give it up. Those two Mums sound very annoying. What is it about these classes that don't exactly bring out the best in folk.

[JonesRipley]

This is almost funny.


I think the person who posted this is quite quite thick and that the vast majority of people would think so. It doesn't reflect on you.

I would also pretend you haven't seen it.

Facebook seems to encourage this sort of idiocy

[Alisvolatpropiis]

I'd be most bothered that whoever wrote that post thinks it is ok to describe a small child in that way.

Are there any other dance classes you could take your DD to?

[fluffymouse]

If it makes you feel uncomfortable then I wouldn't go.

Your dc will find other activities they enjoy. Go to the park/swimming/another toddler group.

[KoalaDownUnder]

That's foul, but I would totally ignore it.

Your daughter enjoys the class, she's been going for a while and has friends there. There are vile, petty people everywhere; if you let them drive you away from things you enjoy, then they 'win', really.

I would keep going to the classes, but keep a polite distance from the other mums. Maybe bring an iPad or book to look busy, whilst still keeping an eye on your daughter.

[madwomanbackintheattic]

Storm in teacup.

If you are that concerned, just email the teacher on mat leave and the stand-in, and ask if they can politely request that there is no talking during the class, as you are aware that things have got a bit heated.

The whole drama llama leaving / not enrolling next term is cutting off your nose to spite your face, really. Take the high road, act like an adult, and deal with the issue at hand, as you obviously agree that all the chat is annoying.

Ignore juvenile fb bitchery. And continue to attend and support the class as your child enjoys it.

[LtEveDallas]

By not re-enroling you are punishing the teacher and your daughter for the actions of the 'talkers' and the 'FBer'. Doesn't really seem fair.

[GermyElephant]

It sounds like you're mainly there to go to a dance group with your daughter. Therefore it doesn't matter if there's an atmosphere between other parents as you will be concentrating on your toddler. Who loves the class. I don't think you should be punishing her for some adults being silly.

[OlderMummy1]

You are right, I should just ignore it. I don't really interact with the other mums other than to say hello as I see it as the perfect opportunity to spend some quality time with my DD. As they are only 2 and 3 years old the parents are expected to join in and encourage their child to which I think makes the class lovely. You're right that it shouldn't matter what the other mums say/do as the focus is my DD.

I think I'm just sensitive to bitchy women as, after attending an all girls school and seeing lots of bullying and bitching first hand, I try to distance myself from it at all times.

[Tinkerball]

I don't think you should leave, why should you ? I think it will all blow over, but don't understand how this could be , is the group a private group? It's maybe a fake account and it's one of the Mums.

[OlderMummy1]

I think it's an open group Facebook page where anyone can post on the wall.

[adoptmama]

It's a thoroughly unpleasant comment, particularly since it also attacks one of the children of the talkative parents. The person who posted it complains about the lack of manners of these two parents, but shows a great deal more nastiness herself.

I would not withdraw my child from a class she enjoyed over something adults did outside the class. It shows they are morons but does not reflect on the quality of the class or the teacher.

The dance school really need to address it - I would imagine they are very unhappy at such a poisonous comment being posted on their group wall; after all it is hardly likely to encourage new parents to come along with their children.

Speak to the teacher if you like about what has been posted, but otherwise I would pretty much stay out of it. I would however be tempted to reply to the fb comment saying how very nasty it is to attack people in this way, that there are far more mature ways of dealing with annoyances than this kind of passive-aggressive, cowardly crap and that to attack someone's small toddler in this way is inexcusable.

[JonesRipley]

OLdermummy

What she wrote is awful and it's depressing when you discover (obvious really, but still), that just because people are parents, they aren't thoughtful and caring towards other people's children. They are just the tossers they always were, only with children

[WipsGlitter]

I would alert the teacher so the comment can be removed.

[magpiegin]

Agree with the others. Rise above it and just continue to go. Would be a shame for your daughter if you stopped going. I wouldn't get involved at all, I wouldn't email the teachers etc- just concentrate on your own daughter.

[scarletforya]

It's one of the other mums. The 'friend' thing is just a red herring.

Nasty things to say. I wonder if talkative mums will go this week. I reckon they'll be too offended.

[TroyMcClure]

at sexism of only girls being bitchy

[TroyMcClure]

I love thd Facebook comment. It's very funny.

Oh god. I'm going to hell.

Why are parents watching? Can't they sit outside?

[Thumbwitch]

It's a very unpleasant comment and unnecessarily horrible about the children involved too.

However, if it really is a "friend" of one of the mums then I fail to see why it means you can't continue to go - she isn't a regular, so it's not someone you interact with (or don't, by the sound of it) at all. I believe therefore that YABU and over-reacting.

If it is one of the other mums, with whom you don't interact anyway, then I still think you're over-reacting, perhaps slightly less, but why on earth would you deprive your DD of an activity she enjoys just because you're finding it's triggering some unpleasant school memories? Rise above it, woman up and carry on! And as for your friends who've decided not to re-enrol, well I think they're over-reacting too.

[Icelollycraving]

Is it bad that I laughed? It's so Jeremy Kyle. I think it's very probably from another mum.
I'd perhaps email the teacher if you could & say you were considering not returning as the atmosphere has changed so much.