To wonder if it's worth actually getting an Asperger's diagnosis as an adult?

[ShutUpShouty]

Bit of a strange thread I admit, but I've had an inkling for years that I might have Aspergers syndrome. It's only been within the last year or so when I started to research more into it and found out how women on the spectrum present very differently to men that made me pretty sure that I do have it. Every article I've read about women with it pretty much fits me perfectly but I've never been sure whether to actually get an official diagnosis or not.

Would a diagnosis make much of a difference? It wouldn't change anything about me, I would still find the same things hard as I do now. I've heard you should only get a diagnosis if you're really struggling but if you're content then it's not worth it. Sometimes I'm okay, but then often I struggle...but again would a diagnosis change that? Then again with an official diagnosis it would hopefully make certain people who give me a hard time for my quirks and criticize me for them (these are close family members btw, including my parents), especially my difficulty in social situations back off a bit. I would be able to say "hey, it's not my fault, but I am trying"

Anyone who has had a diagnosis as an adult felt it made any difference at all? And how hard was it to get diagnosed as a female?

I don't know whether to make the first step or not.

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

Lack of facial expressions and cuddles is not a trait of autism.

Dd smiles constantly and can't get enough cuddles.

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

Being " cold and uncaring" definitely is not.

[SmallShells]

I got my diagnosis of autism as an adult on the NHS, so it's not true that the NHS doesn't fund adult assessments at all Gatorade. Your particular area may not fund them though, I suppose. Personally I would say it's worth a one-off amount for a private diagnosis if that was the only option, but my own diagnosis has been invaluable to me, and I agree it feels more credible than self-diagnosis.

I'd say that I'm emotionally distant and not smiley or cuddly, but that may be just a personality trait and nothing to do with my autism. I don't get told that I'm sad/depressed (although that is one of my other diagnoses!) but people (usually men) often say I'm 'mysterious and enigmatic'

[PosyFossilsShoes]

Aspergers / ASD wasn't really known when I was a kid, when it might have been helpful (being thrown out of school). I was referred when I was at university. I never followed it up. At the time I felt strongly that being neurodivergent was not something that needed to be pathologised, and although it had taken me a veeeerrrryy long time to learn certain social behaviours (and I had to be taught from the basics) I didn't see that as any different to an undiagnosed dyslexic who had now learned to read.

In retrospect I think I should have followed it up as it may have made my life slightly easier to have a diagnosis.

[GatoradeMeBitch]

My GP is the senior partner at the practice. To be fair he also told me the NHS will not help with my injured neck. He's a knob.

[ocelot41]

Shutup I think it is a really good idea to think through how you would cope with - and if you would ENJOY- parenting. I admire you so much for your honesty here.

I know some AS parents with NT kids who have really had to work extra extra hard at some of the things you say you struggle with - for them support and training have made a huge difference (much like NT parents with AS kids but with your own issues on top of that). If you look online you will probably come across some examples of blogs and articles written by loving AS parents about the strategies they have created to meet their children's needs without ignoring their own. My deepest respect goes to all of them!

At the same time,the hardest situations I have come across was where both parents and kids were AS but their aspie traits were just very different. For example with the parent needing calm, routine, no weird textures or smells, quietness, and a very clean orderly house and the kid needing the opposite - WAY more stimulation, noise, colour, mess, touch, novelty, constant movement, and self stimming by banging their heads off the floor and doors when this isn't delivered. In both cases, the marriages concerned broke down under the strain.

So I think you are really wise to be taking your time to mull this one over because there would be additional challenges in store for you. Sounds like you have an awful lot to think through at once though! I feel for you.

[TweedleDi]

In June 2012, NICE published guidelines entitled Autism: recognition, referral, diagnosis and management of adults on the autism spectrum:
www.nice.org.uk/nicemedia/live/13774/59685/59685.pdf