To wonder if it's worth actually getting an Asperger's diagnosis as an adult?

[ShutUpShouty]

Bit of a strange thread I admit, but I've had an inkling for years that I might have Aspergers syndrome. It's only been within the last year or so when I started to research more into it and found out how women on the spectrum present very differently to men that made me pretty sure that I do have it. Every article I've read about women with it pretty much fits me perfectly but I've never been sure whether to actually get an official diagnosis or not.

Would a diagnosis make much of a difference? It wouldn't change anything about me, I would still find the same things hard as I do now. I've heard you should only get a diagnosis if you're really struggling but if you're content then it's not worth it. Sometimes I'm okay, but then often I struggle...but again would a diagnosis change that? Then again with an official diagnosis it would hopefully make certain people who give me a hard time for my quirks and criticize me for them (these are close family members btw, including my parents), especially my difficulty in social situations back off a bit. I would be able to say "hey, it's not my fault, but I am trying"

Anyone who has had a diagnosis as an adult felt it made any difference at all? And how hard was it to get diagnosed as a female?

I don't know whether to make the first step or not.

[StarlightMcKenzie]

Autism BECOMES a mental health issue when there are years and years of unmet need leading to extreme anxieties, depression and low self-esteem, but it is not a mental health issue on its own.

[StarlightMcKenzie]

And I am not on the ASD spectrum. I am on the NT one which is boringly uniform though has other narrow spectrums within it.

[CaisleanDraiochta]

IMO its not a spectrum that is a straight line like a ruler, with NT at one end and ASD at the other. Its more like a Venn diagram with 3 (the triad of impairments) overlapping circles. Lots of people fall outside the circles and they are NT, and lots will also be inside 1 or more of the circles. If you fall within just 1 circle or the overlap of 2, then you have some autistic traits or possibly a differing diagnosis e.g Dyspraxia or Social anxiety/communication disorder. Only people who are right in the centre, where all 3 circles overlap have ASD.

[StarlightMcKenzie]

I remember a white back there was talk of sensory difficulties being the fourth triad. Though it has relevance the idea of a 4th triad never was embraced by the AsD community.

I don't wonder why!!

[ShutUpShouty]

Just going along with the "everyone is on the spectrum" train of thought of now, but if that's true, what would be the difference between someone who simply has traits of AS and someone who actually has it?

[ShutUpShouty]

To whoever asked, no I don't have children but would like some one day. That's actually one of the reasons I think I would like to know for sure. I've heard aspergers can be genetic and run in families and I think I just want to know for any future children's sake - I mean what if I didn't know for sure and my DC was on the spectrum? I think knowing for sure would sway my decision on whether to have children or not

[StarlightMcKenzie]

Are you saying you wouldn't want children if you HAD?

Wow, that is hard to hear for a parent of a child with ASD. He's my light and I live in daily fear that he might wish he hadn't been born.

I like to think, that because of his early diagnosis I can understand, make adjustments, give him skills and information to make his life worth living. Certainly provision is better now (though has a long way to go and has to be fought for) than it was once was.

[ForalltheSaints]

I would think that you might wish to consider whether or not a diagnosis would have an impact on work or your job prospects when looking for a job or promotion. If in a job, it might offer you some protection should you be diagnosed.

[dawndonnaagain]

I have three children on the spectrum. One is at university, getting steady firsts and will in all probability end up in academia. The other two are doing A levels. One writes on here on a fairly regular basis. Others here will tell you, she is witty, intelligent and writes extremely well, she intends to do Lit at Cambridge. Her twin is aiming for criminal psychology. Our take is that Aspie children are a gift to society. Crikey, look at Bill Gates, Einstein, Stephen Spielberg. Michael Palin. Temple Grandin. Luke Jackson.

[AnimalsAreMyFriends]

An interesting thread - thank you op.

I have struggled for many years with MH problems, but since the dx of my youngest child with HFA, and the impending dx of my eldest son, I have been wondering of late whether I too should seek assessment. I recognise many of the difficulties that my sons experience, in myself.

[Southeastdweller]

I'm thinking of going to my G.P to see if I can get referred as I scored highly on that online test too but am apprehensive of finding out if I do have AS for the reason Forall gave. It's a tough job market out there but then I suppose you wouldn't have to disclose it in job applications if you didn't want to.

[Branleuse]

you sound a lot like my two boys who both have ASD,

id ask for a assessment if i were you, and if you find it affects your ability to lead a normal life, you may be entitled to financial help and support from agencies.

[AGnu]

I've sent my 2 young DC to my parents for 24 hours. It's the first time the baby's been away from me. I don't exactly 'miss' them as such. I notice they're not here when I feel like I should be doing something with them but I'm not bothered by it particularly. That's not 'normal' is it? I feel like I should be desperate to get them back. DS2 isn't even 1 yet! I would do absolutely anything to stop someone taking them away against my will though!

Now that I'm thinking about ASD in terms of me I've come to realise that a lot of the things I'm noticing as 'symptoms' are basically all the things I have in common with my sister. This makes it especially difficult to handle her dismissing any discussion of my concerns about me as "but everyone feels like that sometimes"... What she means is that she does & one person is not a statistically significant sample size. She'd freak out if I suggested she might have it though.

Before they went DS1 got hold of my highlighted & annotated list of female aspergers symptoms & scrumpled it up. I'll re-do it before I give it to the doctor! I nearly shoved it in their open day bag where my mum would've found it in the hope she'd actually start to think about it! I'm in a no-win situation with her. She dismisses all my concerns but would be hurt if I attempted to get a diagnosis without her knowledge. I also have no idea how I'm going to tell her if I do get diagnosed. I'd rather do it via Facebook/email so I can express myself properly but it's not really the done thing to share important news any way other than face-to-face or at least on the phone, is it?!

[ShutUpShouty]

StarlightMcKenzie, I don't know . I'm honestly sorry if I've upset you that wasn't my intention but to be honest even though I say I want children I'm not even sure I will have them, regardless of whether I decide to go ahead for an assessment or not.

I struggle a lot with my own issues, always have, I couldn't really imagine trying to look after someone else who depends on you so much. I just don't know whether I'd be able to cope with young children - I'm sensitive to noise, like rigid routine. Plus as I said before, I find it hard to show emotions - I've been told I come across as emotionally cold before and uncaring. Often it's not because I don't care but I just don't know how to express these emotions and I know I would struggle to be able to show love for any children even though I obviously would love them but I would struggle to be able to tell them that or show them that.

[ShutUpShouty]

I know it's been mentioned elsewhere on this thread but can't remember who by, but I would say I often struggle with work...sometimes I don't but I do find it difficult to hold a job down.

For instance, I would say I've been good at all the jobs I've had in that I know what I'm doing, want to get the job done and am focused on that and get it done. However I struggle big time with the social politics side of it. Everybody seems to fit in nicely and know how to act, what to talk about...whereas I'm completely lost and don't 'get' any of these things.

I've been told by colleagues before, bosses included, that they can't tell what I'm feeling and if I'm actually happy and enjoying the job, even if I am, because I don't show emotions and am emotionally cold (going back to that point again). Again, it's not that I'm not happy or upset or whatever I'm feeling at the time it's because I can't show it so come across as distant.

I've had a few jobs where I haven't even made it past the probationary period because of this. Even if I've made every effort to be good at the job, know I am and have been told I am, I fail because of the social side of it which seems so prevalent in so many jobs these days.

[DaVinciNight]

shutup when you say you come across as cold and uncaring, I have to say you remind me of my DH who us in a similar situation than you (ie probably in the spectrum but but diagnosed).

The only thing I can say about that one us that yes he found it hard to deal with the dcs when they were lite but it got better as they grew older. And yes he struggles to show his emotions include love and joy but I am pretty sure that both our dcs DO know he lives them very much. He shows that through his actions rather than facial expression and cuddles iyswim.

I do admire you to think ahead like this and try and imagine what it would be like. I just think you should take your decision on how you feel you could cope rather than a diagnosis though.

[ShutUpShouty]

I do admire you to think ahead like this and try and imagine what it would be like. I just think you should take your decision on how you feel you could cope rather than a diagnosis though.

Yeah, I like thinking like that too. I know I couldn't cope right now though.

Anyway I've decided that I'm going to make an appointment at my GP and see what happens from there. Hopefully I'll be taken seriously and won't be turned away.

[GroupieGirl]

Please come back and let us know how you get on, ShutUp

[PrincessBabyCat]

I've been told by colleagues before, bosses included, that they can't tell what I'm feeling and if I'm actually happy and enjoying the job, even if I am, because I don't show emotions and am emotionally cold (going back to that point again). Again, it's not that I'm not happy or upset or whatever I'm feeling at the time it's because I can't show it so come across as distant.

You might have I get that too. My default face looks sad or depressed, so I always get asked what's wrong, when nothing is wrong.

Good look with your GP! Keep us posted! :)

[traininthedistance]

Schizophrenia is a long term mental health condition which can include delusions, hallucinations, behavioural problems, depression and anxiety, mania and psychosis - it is not "the opposite of autism" and evolutionary biology (which is pretty tendentious as a subject) is not medical psychiatry.

Agree that the linear spectrum idea was taken up by Baron-Cohen because it fits in with his "male brain/female brain" idea, but his model is also heavily disputed, and the growing view that ASD presents differently in females because of various social factors works against that too.

[GatoradeMeBitch]

I always score very highly on the autism tests. I was a selective mute as a kid, and DS has autism. I saw an article about Asperger's in a tabloid about 20 years ago and it was as if I had been written about in the press for the first time. Every symptom applied.

But my GP says the NHS doesn't fund assessment for adults and I can't afford to pay privately, when I already know I have ASD anyway. I just can't tell anyone else I have it, because self-diagnosis has no credibility.

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

My DD has severe autism and is very expressive and emotional. She has no trouble showing her feelings.

Bring emotionally distant is not really indicative of autism IMO. It's just a personality trait.