Theft or reasonable?

[Roseformeplease]

Just come out of a huge supermarket where we stopped for breakfast en route back from holiday. DH and MiL ordered huge breakfasts and the rest if us had cake / biscuit type meals. They gathered dozens of little salt and peppers at the end of the meal (20-30) and DH helped her to scoop the lot into her handbag.

I said I was very, very embarrassed and walked away as this is theft. They reasoned that the packets would have been binned.

I argued that I always try and return the unused ones to the cafe.

My children (teens) agree with me. DH and MiL say it is not theft.

Jury?

NB after a week with her I might just have had enough so be unreasonable as she hums all the time and smells if cheap hairspray.

[ICanSeeTheSun]

www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/B005NZ5WJQ?pc_redir=1397137371&robot_redir=1&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21

It's not even expensive to buy the sachets.

[HolidayCriminal]

My grandmother was famous for doing this. Opened her huge handbag & almost everything on the table went in it. I think the family finally cured her of it in the 1980s. She had been really skint for a spell as a single mom (1940s). After that my step-grandad was a gem but never earnt much, either. Once she had the habit hard to lose it.

I'm not thinking theft, but If I saw it I would think it was crass, sorry.

[LadyMaryLikesCake]

He only needs 2 (and I ask the supermarket). I also make pasta and meatballs for him (no ketchup needed). It beats soup!

[Misspixietrix]

20-30 sachets? YNBU. It isn't even that expensive to buy salt and pepper. I've only just ran out of my 89p sea salt shaker I bought bloody moons ago! Bad manners definitely.

[RhondaJean]

I remember when I was a genuinely very skint student in the 90s and this was the only way I could get butter/salt/tomato sauce/ jam if I was very lucky! When my mum took me to a cafe I would wait till she went to the toilet and bag a few. Not 20/30 though, that would have been greedy.

I remember once or twice filling the pocket in my handbag with toilet roll well.

Now I'm okay money wise I wouldnt do it (except in McDonald's/ burger king where they put some tomato or BBQ sauce sachets on the tray for you, they just get binned if you don't use them so I take them into work) and I always try to make sure I leave a decent tip as well.

[balenciaga]

How embarrassing and stingy!! Bloody hell I'd have been mortified

[SolidGoldBrass]

It depends if they were taking fistfuls from the dispensers or if what the OP means is they shuffled round the whole cafe retrieving the sachets that other people had left unopened on their own trays.

As to hotel toiletries, my rule used to be: if every bottle or packet in your room is brand new and previously unopened, nick the lot. Because they are going to throw away any unused product before the next guest checks in. If there are half-full dispensers or whatever when you check in, then leave them. (There was a time, in my own mid-90s glory days of frequent trips round the country, when I went about 3 years without ever having to buy soap, shampoo, moisturizer or bubble bath.)

[SolidGoldBrass]

And there were other treats like plastic shower hats, shoe-cleaning wipes, sewing kits and emery boards as well. Now everywhere tends to have pump-action dispensers nailed to the wall

[Theodorous]

And there were other treats like plastic shower hats, shoe-cleaning wipes, sewing kits and emery boards as well. Now everywhere tends to have pump-action dispensers nailed to the wall

I assume that s only in crappy hotels and hostels, or possibly a prison. I would rather sleep in the car. I certainly have never encountered this except perhaps in hospital.

[LadyMaryLikesCake]

Premier inn has them screwed to the wall in some sort of case. It's only Imperial Leather. If it were Molten Brown I'd understand but...

[Bunbaker]

We stay at the same B and B regularly when we visit MIL and don't take the piss with the toiletries because we are regulars. We use what we need and leave the rest.

[Roseformeplease]

What happened is they took a fistful from the cabinet where the cutlery is kept, used what they needed and then, rather than returning the rest (my usual thing to do) DH suggested MiL swept them into her handbag - which she did.


She is not poor. We had just had a holiday with plenty of cash splashed on eating out, trips etc. She has form for this but my DH has been told, repeatedly, how excruciatingly embarrassing I find this.

My DS finds it embarrassing because he thinks it makes us look poor (the great fear of today's teens?) and I just think it is theft. You should use what you need and replace what you don't. They had not been opened or anything so were fine for someone else to use.

I know it is a big chain (Morrisons) but, still stealing and pretty grim. My DH compared it with my aunt taking the leftovers from her plate for the dog but I see that as different (also embarrassing) as the food can only be dumped or go for animal feed. She takes it for the dog.

[LokiDokey]

My MIL does this as well. At any given time her handbag will be full of various sachets.
Never understood it myself.

[EvansOvalPiesYumYum]

OP - you are most definitely not being unreasonable. That is theft, definitely.

My O/H works for himself. He provides a service which often involves him providing TV remote controls. He gives batteries necessary for those remote controls. Complimentary.

If one of his customers were to rush to his van and start helping themselves to batteries, then that would be seen as theft. (And I would call the police myself, after wrestling them to the ground). Naturally, this hasn't happened yet, but why do people think it is acceptable to fill their bags with the "complimentary" condiments. It is not okay - those condiments are provided as an accessory to your meal - they are NOT on display for you to fill your handbag with to take home. It's stealing, plain and simple. If you really feel the need to take the salt that was provided with your meal and you didn't use, then fine, as it would be discarded anyway (we've all done it, they are handy sometimes), but to fill your bag with 30 sachets of stuff that you wouldn't have used - oh, perleease - that is theft.

Roseformeplease - it is wonderful you have raised your children to think this is wrong.

[sharonthewaspandthewineywall]

Theodorus its most amusing you are a thief but sound so snobby! Hilarious

[Hiphopopotamus]

I have to say, my Grandma does this! Very honest woman and all that, but I still remember her taking all the sauce sachets and napkins when she took us out to a Mcdonalds breakfast as kids. I do think it is partly a generational thing. My grandma lived through absolute poverty, and although she is comfortable now, I think the habit of hoarding is hard to shake. She would be shocked to be called a thief - I think in her mind, they are complimentary, and therefore up for grabs!

[YouTheCat]

The thing is nobody really minds the odd sachet ending up in someone's bag, but taking handfuls just because it's there is just twatty and also mean.

[EvansOvalPiesYumYum]

Theodorus - Not everything comes down to money

It does, actually, if you're a small business, struggling to survive, and trying to contend with people stealing from you. Think about what you're saying, maybe?

[SolidGoldBrass]

I do think the difference is: stuff that you have used or partially used and which you know will be thrown away if you don't take it is OK to pocket. If you get sachets of sauce or whatever, more than you need, dished on to your tray then you have paid for them as part of your meal, really.

Stuff which is supposed to be accessible to the next customer is not OK to pinch - just use what you need at the time.

[NotTodayJosephine]

Theft.
It's also a bit pathetic. I can see taking one or two if it was really nessecery but taking loads is ridiculous

[AllDirections]

The local Wetherspoons now bring bottles of ketchup/mayo etc to the tables now instead of having a condiment section as too many people were nicking them and it was costing them.

My friend gives his toddler those bottles to suck the sauce from I will never use sauce from 'communal' bottles again. Sachets for me or I'll do without. If he does it how many other parents let their kids do it? Totally minging

[OwlinaTree]

Slightly off topic but once me and DH went out with another couple for a lot of drinks. The next morning there was a jar of Coleman's mustard and a bottle of ketchup in my handbag. We all denied putting it there, but had all drank so much no one could be sure it wasn't them responsible!

[Caitlin17]

Malmaison put full size bottles of good toiletries and tell you to take them with you. It is not stealing to take the individual toiletries and sewing kits from hotel rooms, you have paid for them as part of the room cost.

The toiletries at the The Ritz are specially bottled Highgrove toiletries. I'm sure those who stay there regularly don't bother taking them but am equally sure The Ritz expects that its guests who are there as a one off treat will take the toiletries.

However stock-piling sachets of salt and pepper is bonkers and weird.

[Caitlin17]

sharon theodorus is not a thief in taking the sewing sets, shower caps, etc. Good quality hotels provide these things as part of the room cost. The Malmaison chain actively encourage you to take the stuff home.

[FunkyBoldRibena]

I did have a friend who used to raid people's fridges when he was asleep at night; and without realising it used to pocket their condiments. He was getting onto a bus home one day and his wallet wasn't in his pocket but a jar of pickled onions was. How we laughed.