To hate potty training with a passion?

[Pollycracker]

It doesn't help that I started DD on the potty a week ago today then this week I've got ill and DP is working away. But I'm slowly going insane.

I HATED potty training DS so I've put this off as long as possible, even though DD is extremely bright in all areas. She's 3 in 4 weeks, so I'm not exactly starting too early.

On her first day, she was fantastic. I expected accidents galore but she barely had any and weed and pooed in the potty/toilet.

Since then it's been downhill! She hasn't actually wet herself for 2 days, but every day since Saturday she's shit herself. She hasn't done one poo in the potty, and now almost refuses to use the toilet.

I ask her every 5 minutes if she needs a wee or a poo, and take her to the potty every 15-30 minutes. But she'll just shit herself regardless. Then she'll come and tell me with a smile on her face, or says she wanted to poo in her knickers, so it's as if she's doing it on purpose!

I can't stand it any more. We're normally so close but I'm feeling really angry towards her about this :( her grandma has taken her for the afternoon as I've got two other DC and still feel poorly.

It's rubbish!

[hazelnutlatte]

My dd was similar - happy to wee on the potty but wanted to poo in her pants. I solved it by watching her closely and managed to catch her when she did her 'about to do a poo' face and sit her on the potty so she had no choice! Then a chocolate biscuit and lots of praise. Once she had done a poo on the potty once she was much happier to try again. This was a couple of weeks ago and she has had no accidents since, but still asks for a treat every time she has a poo - I've reduced the treats down so now she just gets a sticker - had to give her a chocolate biscuit for a week or so.

[lilsupersparks]

NOTHING is worth doing if it's stressing everyone out. Three things you can't 'make' kids do - sleep, eat and defecate. Sadly they will always be in charge of these things - hence nearly all parenting issues being related to these three things!

[lilsupersparks]

Deffo small bribes for wees and poos and something bigger when she has done 3 days/ a week. My so. Was super quick with wees but saved poos for nap time or bed time nappies. He got a matchbox car when he did a poo on the toilet the first few times then a reward chart with a present when he finished it. I can see when you 'train' early like 18 months - 2 years it would be confusing to go back to nappies, but at your daughter's age I bet she gets it! She will probably decide to do it.

My sister's little boy was a right pain. Completely refused until well over 3. No 'big boy' talk would work, he has always been a mischievous little sod and would demand nappies. One day they walked past a bike shop and he wanted a particular bike. Sister said you can't ride bikes like that in nappies, they get in the way - no accidents for a week and you can have it. They were back a week later!

So I think younger children need 'training' - lots of asking, lots of sitting on the potty, cheers etc. Honestly, older ones just need to be ready to do it for themselves IMO. So I would just remove the pressure. And I think having something big in mind for when she is done might help. You know best though - really nursery need to suck it up!

[Tootssweet]

Feeling that potty training pain op! We are trying with just turned 3 ds and it just feels like an ordeal. He has only poo'd himself once but he really didn't like that at all so I'm hoping that might have some effect. He actually asked his sister to use the potty this morning do fingers crossed we're getting somewhere. Just fed up of mopping up wee (cos the dog thinks he can do it anywhere in the house too because of ds!)

[ebwy]

we used bribery... 1 plastic soldier for a potty-pee, 2 for a poo.
then it was a badge for a poo (bought a badge maker)

and he chose an angry birds game in the toy shop which was his reward for 3 days of totally clean and dry pants. lots of cheers and well dones and acting impressed too

[melika]

Good luck, you are bringing back some very unhappy memories. I wasn't the most patient in this department either.
Here have a bunch

[SweepTheHalls]

Oh, and trying my damdest to be completely neutral about accidents but doing a literal song and dance (and phoning nanny/grandad/daddy every time ) we had success!

[SweepTheHalls]

You have all my sympathy, ignore all helpful posters( why is it that anything about potty training being tough brings them all out of the woodwork?) Both of mine were really tough to potty train, what got DS2 sorted was a lovely jar of those white chic buttons with sprinkles on (£2 I'm Asda!) on show all the time! and reminders that when he did a good try/wee/poo in the right place we could both have one ( I needed the chocolate too!) , no pants and potty in whatever room/grader we were playing in. His favourite toy got taken to the potty about once an hour to start with too, as doggy definitely needed a try!

[pluCaChange]

Interesting re the floor! DD is considerably more upset by poo on her foot than on her bottom, probably because the latter is "normal"! Eugh.

[pluCaChange]

Interesting re the floor! DD is considerably more upset by poo on her foot than on her bottom, probably because the latter is "normal"! Eugh.

[Pollycracker]

That's a good idea actually. Thank you x

Hmm will have a think re pram...

[Pollycracker]

Oh and I did have cake... And lots of it

[Pollycracker]

Oohh thank you everyone (excepting the strange person who wants me to dig out percentages), really really sweet :)

Well I put her back in nappies. It was too stressful and I'm going to ignore nursery for now. Ironically as soon as I did she started announcing she needed a wee and then running off to do one! I'm going to keep her in pull ups, but if she ever wants to use the toilet, that's fine.

She does need a new (toy) pram as hers broke; at could be a good prize!

This morning it's as if I've snapped back to who I was. The virus/whatever the hell it was has gone (touch wood) and I don't feel pmt-ish. I haven't shouted or cried once and I've actually had a nice day with the DC! So to the PP who said this was all down to me being ill, they were right. Although I still maintain potty training is torture, and I'm dreading having to start again :(

[Blondieminx]

YANBU, potty training is really hard work. Tantrums and toilet training is a bloody hard stage to get through, and being ill with PMT on top ... Eeesh you must be feeling absolutely wrung out by now.

For DD we used

• Poo goes to pooland
  
• one choc button for a wee and two for a poo
  
• A sticker chart lasting a month with a pic of the much wanted pram on it which she got once she cracked it.

[WandaDoff]

Give up, & try again in a month or so.

It's become a battle of wills between you & its not going to work.

You need to take the pressure off & try again another time, I think.

Here, sit down & have some & & sympathy.

[RecentlySpotted]

I'd stop for now. Potty training is the pits - the low point of parenting - if you are feeling ill too, it must be hell. I'd just stop, remove all the pressure, and start some time in the future. Maybe she will even ask to if she see friends using the loo/potty.

[thegreylady]

Cowboys with horses did it for dgs1. A cowboy for a wee on the potty and his horse for a poo! I brought a huge bag of cheap plastic ones back from holiday and it was sorted by the time the bag was empty. Is there any small toy she would love to collect?

[Marylou62]

Darling I don't think this is any thing to do with potty training...it is because you are feeling poorly. She can sense things are not ok with you at the moment. Walton had the right idea...and I would go a step further. I would put her back in nappies with a 'It doesn't matter but maybe your not quite big enough yet'. Please don't get upset. My friend had a very huge battle with pooing and her DD (when older) said she did it in her knickers deliberately cos she got mum mad!! it was the only thing she could control.

[WhoAteAllTheCremeEggs]

Extremely bright in all areas? Really? Is she in the top 1 pct? And how are you qualified to judge?

Whats wrong with a mother saying her child is bright? How does this offend you?

[snowgirl1]

I started by offering DD a sticker when she used the potty, but that didn't seem to work. So I've switched to chocolate buttons - and that does seem to be working for us. We actually put a chocolate button on the coffee table and said 'you can have that when you do a wee or poo in the potty'. I think seeing the chocolate button helped.

[JuniperTisane]

DS spent some time on the loo a few times with my tablet and some games to keep him occupied. Made the action of using the loo a bit less fraught and a bit more interesting.

[Waltonswatcher1]

Oh and buy lined pants - mother care do some fairly cheaply . These are a great halfway house . They feel like pants but catch the worst of it . They don't absorb as much as a nappy and so the child can feel damp . My dc wore these periodically from 9 months do get used to the feel .

[Waltonswatcher1]

You sound on the edge of having had enough( been there and visit often!).
I actually think you need to back off from this for a week or two as its now becoming an emotional stress for you both . Can you hold off until your partner is at home too ? Moral support and practical support - I spent ages reading whilst they tried to do a poo .
Give yourselves a break - and tackle it when your pmt monster has passed !