to not want to be approached by charity collectors?

[KidsDontThinkImCool]

Raising money and awareness for charities is a wonderful thing. Of course it is. I've done it myself from time to time and I give what support I can. It's important and it's bloody hard work and I have nothing but admiration for those who give their time and energy to do it.

But...I'm really beginning to hate being asked, every time I go to the supermarket or the shopping centre, if I want to help prevent children's cancer. Well who doesn't? but I feel so small and so mean if I don't have spare change to put in their buckets every day! Is it so wrong not to want charity collectors to act like salesmen, making unsolicited pitches designed to make people feel guilty? Is it just me? AIBU or does anyone else feel this way?

I tell them that I'm not able to support any charities at the moment (true)

the ones that follow me get asked, then yelled at to LEAVE ME ALONE AND STOP HARASSING ME!!!!

and the one who grabbed hold of my arm and spun me around got my full PTSD reaction of being pushed off me with violence and told to never touch me again or I'd kill him. I then went home and spent a day or two trying to control my anxiety again.

I hate it too. I was always bring cornered on Carnaby Street when I worked in Soho. The chiggers would wait either end to get you. One time, my mother had just died and one of these was right in my face, you know how they do, I said no thanks and he said the usual sarcastic, 'have a nice day, at which point I just totally lost it and screamed in his face that I wouldn't be having a nice day for a very very long time as my mother had just died, and that when they have a go at you they have no idea what the other person might be going through and he should think about that next time!! My lovely mum would have very much have approved of my outburst!

being cornered of course

I used to do bucket collections for a charity which was very close to my heart. I would happily stand at the doors of supermarkets, but was always quiet, as it's not my job to make people feel guilty. More often than not I was a bit overwhelmed with people who did donate.

However it was always very emotionally draining, as people who were also affected by the condition/had family members with it, would share their stories and often both of us would be in tears! It was worthwhile but I never wanted to be rude to people, just collect for the charity.

The stories I shared were just as important as the money collected and I think that you just don't have that personal connection as a chugger. Btw I always did 4/6 hour collections for free. I don't believe it should be a job but that's just my opinion.

I'm pleased to hear that ignoring is the most soul-destroying response to being hassled - that will be the stock response from now on. This crap deserves no encouragement whatsoever.

Couldn't agree me. I'm also going to try that the next few times it happens, instead of the usual expletives and looking at them as if they're shit I might step in. Hopefully it will be soul-destroying enough to be the last straw for one or two of the infuriating little fuckers, and make them pack their hassling people in.

Yes, I'm aware that I sound like a right charmer. I usually am, just not to these chugging bastards.

Couldn't agree more.

They boil my piss but as long as they aren't rude then I don't think they deserve the hate. It's a job. There aren't many jobs.

I did tell one to piss off though when he went 'oy love, since you've been busy buying yourself new shoes why not think about these poor kids'. Fuck off you nob.

The charity collectors here have taken to talking to children to get the parent to stop so DD(5) and I had a lovely conversation at the weekend.

CC: 'That's a pretty dress'
DD: 'thank you'
CC: (looking at me) 'Have you got a minute to talk about...
DD: (interrupting him) 'No, but have a nice day.'

I have clearly trained her well.

I do have to say that I give more to the quiet volunteer types holding a coin bucket than I used to simply because they are not chuggers, who have increased dramatically in recent years. Our charity giving is done once a year via cheques and only to charities which are completely transparent about their finances and who do not have huge executive salaries. In particular, we give to one well-regarded foreign aid organization, one charity which really does good work with providing necessities to the homeless and those down on their luck (know this through personal experience) and one hospital which we support. And a university fund which provides scholarships.

My parents had a friend (she was lovely)whose husband started one of these obscure 'save the wildlife' type charities. He showed no interest in the natural world (my dad used to ask him on walks and he declined everytime) although we were surrounded by it - mountainous area. He did this only after failing to make it big in the corporate world and then he would sigh that the 75k salary he paid himself was just a fraction of what he'd be able to earn in the private sector. He was a deeply unpleasant, well-spoken man who kept trying to get my mum to become one of his roster of about fifteen unpaid or very lowly paid telephonists. Unsurprisingly she declined everytime. Then he'd have a big whinge to anyone who would listen about people just didn't have the time/dedication to volunteer anymore everytime one his telephonists figured it out and quit.

I just smile and say no thanks. Failing that I add that I already support another charity.

If I'm not in the mood, I'll focus on a point in the distance and walk quickly!

I got stopped by the cats protection league yesterday.
"Do you like cats?"
"Absolutely not!"

"I enjoy booting them up the arse. Is that the sort of thing you can arrange?"

"Do you like cats/kangaroos/children with only 4 toes?"

"I'm getting tired of your shit, Dave..!" will be my new stock answer. Even if they're female.

"Do you like cats?"

"Have you got one? For meeeee? I've always wanted a cat! OhMyFuckingGod! I'm gettting a cat! I'm getting a cat! I'm getting a cat! I'm so HAPPY! SQUEEEEEEEE!!"

The nearest Big Issue seller to where I used to live certainly wasn't homeless! She was quite open about the fact that she lives in a big house with her family, and that she has three cars - apparently she made a big show of paying for the latest one in cash she's sweet though.

I like the one in the town where I live now, he stands there shouting "Big issue, cheaper than a box of tissues" again and again. Much more entertaining than the chuggers.

Ooh, can I share my list of worst chugger experiences?!

I was out on a run, pretty much lost in everything apart from putting one foot in front of the other, breathing and trying hard to break my best time record. Coming down a very steep hill, something caught my eye and I looked up to see a chugger plaster on a huge wide grin and step into my path, I veered right to run around him and he sidestepped into me with arms outstretched yelling STOOOOOOP! We collided quite painfully - I had the biggest, blackest bruise on my arm for about three weeks from where his clipboard caught me - and he started laughing in this stupid fake hysterical way about how this was the funniest thing that had ever happened to him and he couldn't wait to tell all his friends but of course now that he had my attention, let's talk about whatever charity he was representing that day He then broke off to point out that "eewwww, you're all sweaty". I usually strive for politeness above all and try to get away from chuggers with a quick "no thanks" and quickened pace but on this occasion, I was so shocked and angry that I let him have both barrels; I yelled about what an utterly stupid, dangerous and downright dangerous thing to do and in any case let's take a look at me out running, not shopping, wearing lycra shorts and t-shirt with no handbag so where exactly did he think I was keeping my wallet/debit card? I told him I didn't think he should be harassing anybody in the park but if he really had taken a look around and decided that I was the most appropriate target and likely to stop, listen and sign up at that particular moment then he needed a lot more training on the job. His retort to that was that I should give up the running anyway, it clearly wasn't doing any good as I was a fat bitch.

Upon telling another chugger, truthfully, that I already support three charities which are very important to me and could not afford another direct debit payment, he questioned me on what they were and then proceeded to belittle my choices, telling me that I was wasting my money and needed to support something important - "what's the point in a Down's Syndrome charity anyway?"

Another chugger once came to my door and came a very earnest speech about blind children before realising he had gotten the charity wrong and that was yesterday's job. It should have been deaf children to which I was able to say that having grown up with a cousin who is deaf I already knew a lot more about the charity than he clearly did and would find a way of supporting them myself.

Then there was the person who called to ask if I was donating to cancer research for any particular reason. I spoke about the three family members fighting cancer and got a very insincere response, clearly read from a script, to say "Oh I'm sorry to hear that. Shall we increase your donations then?" When I said no, I was asked why I wouldn't want to give my relatives the bes chance of survival.

Awful way to prey on vulnerable people. I agree that more money is always a good thing for charities but this is the wrong way to go about it.

I would love to have said any of those things but I am the worst liar ever and would have an enormous on my face if I even tried!!
I start sniggering to myself when I pass chuggers now, thinking of the hilarious things I could say to them thanks to MN!

I am mostly polite to chuggers, with a quick "no thanks" and I carry on walking. The more persistent get a hard stare followed by "which bit of NO do you not understand?". I'll still try to avoid being rude though, for my own peace of mind.

Only recently, though, one chap did try to engage DS (aged 10) in conversation. Whether that was to try to get a kids pester power going, like another poster mentioned previously, I don't know. I just spoke to DS and told him we needed to hurry up, and quickly just left the chugger behind.

DS asked me later whether I'd give to these people on the street. I told him honestly that I prefer to research and choose which charities to support and not to be pestered into signing up on the street. DS has no made it his mission to be the one to tell the chugger that "mum doesn't give to chuggers" I am working on making sure he isn't rude.

I'm not particularly thick skinned, but I just say "I'd love to help, but I'm not in a position to increase my commitments at the moment" and then ignore anything else said. I used to say "increase my giving", but I changed it so it was generic enough to potentially cover time / awareness / writing letters / whatever else I was being solicited for.

Just to quickly add that tin collectors are not supposed to solicit, speak to or even rattle the tin. Many do at least shake a bucket but legally you are just supposed to stand there and people come to you to give the donation. Certainly that's the case if you are doing a street collection or at a Network Rail-owned station (not dealt with any other areas).

I just want to make a few points to balance the hatred oozing from this thread. I worked as a street fundraiser in the early 2000s when it was fairly new, then a team leader then an office based role.

1. Charities need money, all the time, urgently. They have CEOs, financial directors, accountants and more constantly analysing how best to raise funds. These people are salaried (obviously). A charity has to be run pretty much like a business to make money effectively. This is real life.

1. A direct debit monthly donation is the best thing, the BEST THING you can give to a charity. £5 a month is unnoticeable to most - but it's income of £60 a year. All the posters saying 'I'd rather put some coins in a jar'? That is lame, there are so many studies done by charities to show that people think they give more frequently and larger amounts than they do. Newsflash - giving to charity isn't about getting a rosy glow from throwing pennies in a jar. You might at a push give £2 a month this way, probably much, much less and spread across different charities. The regular income charities receive from direct debit donations allows them to plan long-term.

1. The above financial specialists spend their time working out the best way to raise income. It's not a coincidence that street fundraising spread so quickly and widely - it is hugely effective. Direct debits can also be signed up for in magazines, mailshots, door to door and so on - street fundraising outstrips any of these, and in fact much much more cost effective than charity shops, which I found interesting - the £12 an hour I quoted earlier was in 2001 so more now I assume, still the most cost efficient fundraising for charities. TV ads, mailshots, people shaking tins - all left in the distance.

1. Charities are as I said run efficiently like businesses. It annoys you, ruins your day, to be spoken to by a street fundraiser? Boo hoo. Unless laws are being broken, you should be thankful for these people who get the job satisfaction of raising so much support for charities.

There has been a very public backlash against street fundraisers, which this thread shows - and some of the stories, if not exaggerated for effect, make me sad. You should never feel harassed, we were trained to always accept the first 'no I'm not interested', never to make personal comments and lots of other guidance. I expect street fundraising will die out soon so you can all continue your days in peace. I hope charities can find other effective ways of persuading people to sign up for direct debit charity donations, since being asked directly doesn't work any more.

But you know, as long as you're throwing pennies in a tin every so often that's great.

How patronising TheJumped. I think we all realise those things for ourselves. Nothing you say justifies the tactics used by some charities. Your premise appears to be that the end justifies the means.

Bloody hell TheJumped if your attitude is representative of other chuggers, is it any surprise you're so despised?

Unless I'm familiar with the charity and have looked at it's yearly statement to see what proportion of their donations actually go to those they claim to serve, I don't donate. I usually am not familiar with three-quarters of chugger charities (new ones seem to be springing up all the time) and the other quarter I wouldn't donate to because their reputations precede them. Of course the chuggers are not trained to be rude by the charities but when their income depends on getting people's attention by hook or crook, it's pretty likely they'll soon try anything.