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AIBU?

to get DS chicken pox on purpose

90 replies

blowsygirl · 07/03/2014 15:10

DS is 4.6 in a small nursery. All the other kids have had it earlier. I know it's going round at the moment, so would I be wise and reasonable to take him to a large soft play place and hope he catches it?

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MrsTerryPratchett · 07/03/2014 15:59

As well as being not a good idea, it is also useless. I had CP twice, DD has had the jab and had CP.

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LeadingToGadeBank · 07/03/2014 16:00

Isla You haven't been on Mumsnet long then?

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Foxsticks · 07/03/2014 16:00

I would never purposely expose my child to an illness, how would I live with it if she didn't have a mild case. My midwife last week actually advised me to go to a pox party if there was one as she said it would be better for my unborn child if dd got it now rather than risk getting it when number 2 is a newborn. Not advice I'll be following though.

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Sirzy · 07/03/2014 16:03

Mychild don't feel guilty, if a siblings had it by the time you knew it was about they had probably been infected anyway and either way its not practical to try to keep siblings apart.

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blowsygirl · 07/03/2014 16:05

Well, I didn't know there was a vaccine! I'll take DS and get him immunised.

The reason I wanted him to have it was because I thought it was more dangerous in later life - I wasn't aware of complications. But obviously much better to have the vaccine.

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LeadingToGadeBank · 07/03/2014 16:05

Better to follow the advice of random strangers on an Internet forum than a midwife, foxsticks Grin

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LeadingToGadeBank · 07/03/2014 16:07

blowsy Read the vaccine contents first. You'll be exposing them to a series of synthetic suspensions too. I'd rather get Pox the way nature intended, not a lab mix.

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TheZeeTeam · 07/03/2014 16:07

It wasn't "years ago" people used to have CP parties. I went to one and that my youngest is only 9! Neither of my younger children caught it so I had to have them immunized.

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expatinscotland · 07/03/2014 16:10

If it's in the nursery he may already have it. It has a long incubation period.

I have two friends whose children died of secondary infection from it and another whose daughter, who thankfully recovered fully, was in hospital with encephalitis from it.

I wouldn't deliberately expose him to it.

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ProudAS · 07/03/2014 16:12

I'm not sure about long term effectiveness of the vaccine. I've heard it can wear off.

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Foxsticks · 07/03/2014 16:24

Like I said, I wouldn't expose her to it in case the worst happened leading. That's a decision I came to all by myself, I didn't ask anyone else (including my midwife) and I'm more than happy to make my own mind up about whats best for my child and number 2,. Last I checked it wasn't mandatory to accept health care advice from a midwife about my toddler.

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foreverondiet · 07/03/2014 16:32

Do it! (UNLESS YOU HAVE A BABY AT HOME)...Yes I know this will go against everyone else's view but....

I say this as someone who has their DS coming out with chicken pox 6 days before we were due to fly to USA on holiday. We did go as it was mild but had he come out 2-3 days later we wouldn't have been able to go away.

His younger brother then caught it from him and was really ill - our GP said this was normal when young children (he was 1) caught it from older siblings, and so its always better to get it from a friend not a sibling. This is because the sibling is repeatedly exposed to it, so the reaction is strong.

Your child will get it at some point anyway, and now is a good time then why not. I exposed my oldest (DD) before DS1 and DS2 was born, and I am glad I spared her catching it from a sibling etc.

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Rooners · 07/03/2014 16:35

I'm missing the correlation between making him ill deliberately and taking him to a soft play.

I mean yes they are minging pits of disease but it's not always the specific disease you were after, iygwim Grin

Sorry to be flippant

I wouldn't see anything wrong with hoping he gets it soonish, but to try and facilitate this is probably wrong. I wouldn't deliberately expose a child.

My older ones were 8 and 4, youngest hasn't got it yet.

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wobblyweebles · 07/03/2014 16:55

Since I moved to the US eight years ago I have only known two children who caught chickenpox - their mum exposed them on purpose because she doesn't belive in vaccinations.

One ended up in hospital...

Personally given the choice I would vaccinate. My son caught it when we still lived in the UK and was nearly hospitalised.

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Amber76 · 07/03/2014 16:57

I exposed my toddler to a friends child who had chicken pox - she got it a few weeks later and it was fine.

I was off work so it was great that I was sort of expecting it and could be with her the whole time. She wasn't particularly sick but her energy was low and she needed a lot of tlc.

I would do the same with my second child when he's older if the situation arises whereby I know a child with it.

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meddie · 07/03/2014 17:03

I have nursed quite a few children who have ended up on intensive care after developing pneumonia's and encephalitis following chicken pox, so no I wouldn't deliberately expose any child to it. especially as there is now a vaccine available.

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LollipopViolet · 07/03/2014 17:04

I had chicken pox at the grand old age of 21 and it was AWFUL. I had a severe case according to my GP, was on antivirals and off from university for a fortnight. I wish I'd had it younger.

BUT, there are risks and deliberately exposing a child to those risks is something I wouldn't do, personally. I was most annoyed to find out after my dealings with it, that there's a vaccine!

Incubation is a fairly long one IIRC, so if it's doing the rounds, he might already have picked it up.

YABU, but I understand where you're coming from.

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TheZeeTeam · 07/03/2014 17:04

Proudas, not sure if that was in relation to my comment, but we had to immunize as we live in the US and the kids can't go to school without it. We did it in the UK though, and it was a right faff!

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AndHarry · 07/03/2014 19:48

Yes the NHS has a very limited scope for offering the chickenpox vaccine but it's worth knowing about in case you or your children are eligible. Both of mine were because I have a deficient immune system but I found that out through independent research when I was going to pay for the vaccinations anyway. I had to go to my GP to ask for them to have it and it still took a bit of persuasion!

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indigo18 · 07/03/2014 20:03

Some very odd ideas here. The only two children that one poster claims to know who have had chicken pox must have caught it from other children.. Most of the time the exposure happens before you are aware as symptoms have not yet appeared. Nor do I believe that a child will get a worse dose through deliberate exposure than through accidental; that is ridiculous - how could it be evaluated?
Deliberate exposure may not work anyway; it was fashionable when I was young and my poor DSIS caught everything going so our mother put us in the same bed hoping to get it all over at once. Sis suffered through measles, German measles, scarlet fever, mumps and chicken pox. I caught a very mild dose of chicken pox and I got mumps first, which I passed on.
I would say carry on as normal; if one child in your family gets it it will be too late to prevent exposure of siblings, if you live together.

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BudsBeginingSpringinSight · 07/03/2014 20:22

one was v ill, one wasnt. I couldnt expose them deliberalty.

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BudsBeginingSpringinSight · 07/03/2014 20:25

amber

can i point out whilst one child might be fine, like mine, the other will react maybe the same but maybe not.

Nor do I believe that a child will get a worse dose through deliberate exposure than through accidental; that is ridiculous - how could it be evaluated?

of course not, however how could one live with ones self if the child was very sick and you did it deliberalty to them.

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indigo18 · 07/03/2014 20:40

But you can't possibly know, unless your children are kept in isolation normally! The child being sent to nursery with chicken pox will have probably caught it there anyway, and would have been infectious before symptoms show. I don't get this idea that one can control these situations and that people are being 'selfish' if they inadvertently pass on something which was passed to them!

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Jennynero · 07/03/2014 20:46

I wouldn't recommend deliberately exposing your child to chickenpox as other posters have mentioned, there can be complications, although these are relatively rare. As the incidence of CP in the UK is high, it's quite likely they will become naturally infected at some point in childhood.

There has been some evidence to suggest that early CP infection is linked to an increased incidence of shingles at an earlier age. On the flip side to this, primary infection in adults is associated with severe disease, mainly pneumonia.

Some of the comments on here are incorrect. Slapped cheek (parvovirus) does not give cross immunity to chickenpox. You can have an asymptomatic infection, so may have acquired immunity this way without realising you ever had CP.

You can't get a more 'severe' infection from increased exposure from a sibling. Repeated exposure is actually a good thing as you keep boosting the immune response. There are individual factors which can make an infection more/less severe.

The vaccine has been used in the USA for over 10 years and has proven to be safe and effective. The only reason we do not give it universally in the UK is because of the cost/benefit ratio. In short, my advice would be to vaccinate. I know this may be controversial to say (and I'm completely pro choice) but vaccinations full of 'evil toxins' have been one of the biggest contributions to public health after clean water and sanitation! We can thank these (horrible) vaccines for eliminating small pox, nearly eliminating polio and reducing the incidence of many other diseases.

I have 3 DC and I would have vaccinated them if I knew then what I know now.

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honeybeeridiculous · 07/03/2014 20:55

I know someone who died from complications of chicken pox, rare I know, but not worth the risk

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