to not want to hear about dp's sex/erotic dreams

[theblackbag]

Practically every morning my partner feels the need to give me the full details of her dirty dreams from the night. Is this usual and what is it I'm expected to do with the information beyond smile and nod my head glumly?

[daisychain01]

Interpreting dreams is about as reliable as reading someone's Horoscope and believing it means anything. Its just a bunch of random made up things isnt it?.

Just wondering on what basis she thinks you are qualified to interpret stuff that she describes to you from inside her head

[TheVictorian]

you could keep a kinky sex journal then when the both of you are in the mood you could try out various ideas.

[theblackbag]

I'm sure part of her reasoning for telling me is a mix of a desire to share and a desire for me to interpret the dreams for/with her.

[JockTamsonsBairns]

Hang on a minute. She's telling you about her erotic dreams about your colleagues, and you seem to be feeling only mild irritation at this? I'd be seriously fucked off, and would be questioning my partner's motives behind this.

[meditrina]

"She says she is only telling me because she tells me everything."

That is a justification, not an exact truth (obviously).

If she is too thick-skinned to realise the unfortunate cumulative effect that this is having, then I suspect you'll either have to become expert at deflecting attention onto non-dream subjects (perhaps by altering morning routine a bit?) and instead find other times of day to talk, when a more varied and interesting set of subjects can be covered.

[NoodleOodle]

There's nothing abnormal about it apart from the fact that she's doing it when you don't like it. Can she not tell that you don't like it? Or does she know but not care? Either way is worrying. I would suggest you directly but non aggressively ask her to stop, and see how the situation envelops from there.

[theblackbag]

She says she is only telling me because she tells me everything. This is probably true but I'm still not sure it's that 'normal'.

[theblackbag]

She says she is only telling me because she tells me everything. This is probably true but I'm still not sure it's that 'normal'.

[GarthsUncle]

Are you enjoying your first day on Mumsnet, OP?

Make up a really boring dream about walking through a desert and a bowl of chrysanthemums?

[NoodleOodle]

It sounds like she's finding something lacking in your sex life together. Have you asked her why she tells you the dreams, or told her how it makes you feel?

[JugglingFromHereToThere]

My DH likes to tell me his dreams but I can never really concentrate - the plots are sooo complicated

[meditrina]

Telling other people your dreams is always egotistical, as it's seriously boring (unless you are a skilled story teller). It doesn't really matter what they're about.

So it seems she is a little unaware of the impact of such repetitive dullness.

What is communication like between you generally?

[theblackbag]

Mostwicked she only ever wants to hear what I want to do to her, she goes rather shy when I ask her what she wants to do with me. Occasionally she will mention a threesome but such a thing is totally incompatible with our lives.

[theblackbag]

Another issue that may feed into this is that she often doesn't trust me when I tell her that I don't remember my dreams. I never do but she seems to think I'm holding back. Should I make up something about a film star to satisfy her?

[MostWicked]

Maybe she is trying to spice up your sex life a bit.
I can understand you not wanting to hear about her thoughts about other men, its a bit off for her to talk about them (unless she is trying to make you jealous or suggest a 3some), but do you not want to know her fantasies?
I would tell her that you don't like hearing about her dreams about other men, but maybe she could tell you what she would like to do to you?

[Puttheshelvesup]

About your coworkers? this is very rude! at best very inconsiderate and thoughtless, at worst very cruel and designed to hurt your feelings. Actually, just thought of a third reason, a misguided attempt to turn you on somehow. Whatever the reason, if you don't like it you need to tell her and request that she stops.

[Meepers]

Wow YANBU. Tell her tour not interested. I rarely remember dreams but the ones I do I don't share. Mainly because nobody gives a shit and also because on the rare occasion I do remember they are crazy.

I did have dreams about Brendan Brady (the Hollyoaks character) while pregnant. Nobody would ever really want to hear about them...

[HappyGoLuckyGirl]

I think it's completely out of order for her to be sharing her sex dreams with you, especially when they involve your work colleagues!

Tell her to keep her gob shut.

[SleepOhHowIMissYou]

Sounds like a case of blue tubes (the female equivalent to blue balls).

There is something you could do about it.

Do you ever get any time away from DD when you're alone?

If no, perhaps you could make time.

[theblackbag]

Thanks scarlet really nice to realise I'm not been crazy thinking she is going to far. I will certainly try and talk to her about it. I just really don't want to come across prudish, because I'm really not.

[scarletforya]

Tell her to put a sock in it. If a man was doing this everyone would be outraged.

I think it's really rude of her. It's also a bit creepy that she's sharing these dreams while your Dd is around.

Tell her to keep it to herself.

[theblackbag]

That may be some of the issue but she does tend to have verbal diarrhea in the mornings with her dream recall.

[Allergictoironing]

Definitely not seeking nookie as we cosleep our DD.

That could be the problem there? Cosleeping your DD has got to have an effect on your sex life, maybe she's trying to hint that she wouldn't mind having a bit of rampant sex along the lines of her dreams - or any sex at all.

[theblackbag]

Very rarely about me unfortunately, often about people I work with or Tom Hardy. The latter is understandable I guess :(

[pomdereplay]

Perhaps she is trying to start a conversation in a less-than-elegant way. Do you talk openly about your fantasies and desires? Maybe she wants it to be a two-way street and wants you to open up too.