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AIBU?

to take the DCs to legoland for a weekend away whilst DH goes on yet another stag weekend?

82 replies

chillidoritos · 28/02/2014 13:59

DH is going on a stag weekend abroad in April. He goes on lots of stag weekends and lads' weekends away whilst I'm left looking after the DC. In the summer he plays cricket every Saturday and sometimes on a Sunday too, and again I look after the DC.

I'm sick of it all quite frankly and have decided that this year I am going to do nice things with the kids whilst he's off doing his own thing. In the past we've always done all the nice stuff on weekends when he's not doing anything.

So I've decided that when he's on the stag weekend I'm going to take the DC to Lego land and stay in a hotel with them for the weekend, and really have some fun.

DH is not happy as he wants to come and says I'm being selfish by taking them there without him.

AIBU?

OP posts:

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TetrisBlock · 28/02/2014 18:49

Sounds great to me! Why should you all sit around waiting for him to get back from his jollies?!

SnowBells · 28/02/2014 18:54

chillidoritos

Does he think a stag do is like a chore?!? Granted, your DH really does not sound like my DH. He hates the thought of a stag do. Has nightmares before going on one. And when he was meant to go, he cancelled. He doesn't really do the hanging out with the dudes…

… so if he had to go to a stag do, and I went to… Paris or the like… he would get quite a tad jealous.

But if your DH is just being a git… then no, YANBU.

MarysDressSways · 28/02/2014 18:57

me either expat! I'm constantly surprised by some of the things people put up with on here.

Lavenderhoney · 28/02/2014 19:06

Personally I would arrange fun every weekend- not encourage the dc to sit about and wait for him. They must think he's royalty or something.

Go, enjoy it, and let them and you have a life.

Why are you putting up with it anyway? He sounds very single to me. I hope you don't leave him a dinner to warm up. Or get the house tidy. He sounds very entitled to me.

RedFocus · 28/02/2014 19:24

Ha if I did this my dh would cancel the stag weekend and invite himself to Legoland!

UniS · 28/02/2014 19:28

GO for it OP.

DH travels ( for work) a lot at one point in the year , that month he will be somewhere different every week. That month I make sure DS and I go and have a weekend away somewhere different to normal.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 28/02/2014 19:32

I bet you only have to do this twice before he starts joining you.

He is gonna hate feeling left out!

Twat.

Lavenderhoney · 28/02/2014 22:00

And if he doesn't or won't help when you get home tired with dinner to cook etc etc then its a new problem.

However, you must live your life! Stag weekends? Surely all your friends are married by now! And lads weekends away? He's probably concerned about the money you'll be spending instead of waiting home.

littledrummergirl · 28/02/2014 22:15

YABU
Drayton mannor is much better than legoland, although it is probably only for a day.
Smaller and less queues.
Cadburys world isnt far away though

DinahLady · 28/02/2014 22:22

YADNBU!! He goes away on his stag weekend, that's fair enough.
How the heck though can he expect you to sit in and do nothing, being bored and awaiting his return?!
That's so cheeky. He's SO paranoid he's going to be missing out. If he wanted to go that badly, he'd cry off the stag weekend and come to Legoland with you!
He just doesn't like the thought of you off out havingfun without him instead of sat at home eagerly awaiting his response.
Go, go GO to Legoland with your DC's. DO NOT stay in doing nothing waiting around all weekend for him to come back!
Get out and have fun, time will go quickly for you, and your dc's will have a great time.
If he feels he's missing out, then he knows what to do next time, and come with you!

Jenny70 · 28/02/2014 23:49

I agree do something fun, and tell him to take a flying leap if he tells you where you can/can't go - you don't tell him where the stag weekends should be etc.

But how many DC and what ages, I can't do legoland solo yet, as youngest can't goon many rides, but older need an adult with them. And some the 3 children, 1 adult ratio doesn't work (boats etc).

But assuming you can make it work, do it!!

VeggySausage · 01/03/2014 00:09

YABU going to legloand on your own with no help.

Dump the kids on your parents and go away for the weekend.

Troglodad · 01/03/2014 01:25

Life in an unending re-telling of a ten year old boy's summer holidays must be peachy. Troglomum would probably tear my knackers off if I did that, and quite right too.

YANBU - do it! Also, consider challenging that adventurism and get him taking you all camping and stuff :)

Troglodad · 01/03/2014 01:26

I meant channeling, not challenging

DontGiveAwayTheHomeworld · 01/03/2014 01:34

At least it was planned in advance. DH has a lot of impromptu nights out, sometimes staying at mates houses, and it drives me mad! Currently waiting for the text that tells me whether he's coming home tonight so I can go to bed (need to leave the door unbolted if he's coming back.) Ok, tonight was actually planned, but it's the same routine at least three times a month.

Ah well, night out with my best buddy next Friday. Which has a time limit because DH has work on Saturday, so I have to be at least semi-functional. Grrr!

Adikia · 01/03/2014 02:02

YANBU, it sounds like a great plan to me and if he's that bothered about missing Legoland then he can make his excuses and miss the stag weekend instead

Cranky01 · 01/03/2014 08:04

It depends how old and tall are your children, because if 1 is tall enough for the rides but the other isn't it can be quite difficult on your own

Discomama · 01/03/2014 08:19

Next time don't tell him, don't tell the kids, then suprise them on the morning you go -- wonder mummy

mrspremise · 01/03/2014 08:37

Not telling him would be my vote in future too; "oh, it was a spur of the moment thing..." Surely if he's not around as usual you dont need to consult him

Ticklefeet · 01/03/2014 08:40

He needs to 'man up'.

Aeroflotgirl · 01/03/2014 08:42

Yanbu no no you are not being selfish, he is! He has a choice, go to Legoland with you and the kids or go to his stag weekend, he's made his choice. Why should you all sit around moping, whilst he's having a good time. I would be having a serious talk with him about his lads weekends, it is not acceotable!

nkf · 01/03/2014 08:48

Enjoy your weekend away.

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Lorelilee · 01/03/2014 08:57

People only continue with unreasonable behaviour if you allow them to, yes I'm looking at you OP and DontGiveAway. Marriage and parenting should both be 50/50 enterprises - with each faction understanding and carrying out their responsibilities. Make this happen and your life will be much happier.

whatever5 · 01/03/2014 09:45

YANBU. I would do this but also pay for my mum to come too as the trip would be more relaxing and enjoyable if there was another adult there.

Inertia · 01/03/2014 20:07

That's a very good idea Whatever5 - or perhaps even a willing friend of OP.

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