Its half term. Dd wants to do beach walk with our dogs. My mother called wanting me to go with her to pet shop. Its a long walk but dd doesn't want to traipse around shops while my mother whines about her bad back. Sinuses etc. I want the time with dd. I have offereg for my dp to collect the dog food. She was fine when she called eralier but because dd didnt want to do that all of a sudden she is breathless and telling me how she has to go to bank shops etc and take her dog out because id left it too late. I normally take her dog out at lunch time so its not late. I feel like shit but just cant face it.
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LEMmingaround ·
23/02/2014 11:39
Well things hve been quiet so far, yesterday she called me while i was out and was crying down the phone - i told her to take the diazepam and lie down, i was just waiting for our dinner to be served in a cafe with dp and dd. So of course i couldnt relax and went straight round, she was snoozing on the sofa, not taken the diazepam because it gave her a headache.
This morning - five missed calls on my mobile at 8.30, i called her back and all i got was "what" then when i asked her what the matter was it was "nothing, nothings the matter" and the phone put down. I'm not ringing her back!
I don't know how i am gonig to get through until wednesday.
WHY do i keep pandering? There was another thread on here i have just read and it was like reading abotu my life - threats to contact SS etc when DD1 was young (i was a single parent) because i went out with someone (a woman, just friends) she didn't like 
This was just one example. Lucky for me she liked my DP because i daresay she would have scuppered that. I went to university when DD1 was at primary school and my parents did all the childcare (i now realise this ws my DF because she has only ever looked after DD2 less than the amount of fingers i have on one hand and she is 8 now - DD1 is 23) But there were constant threats of not being able to look after DD1 if i didn't do things the way she wanted, i can't even remember what - but i lost count of the times i thought i would have to drop out of uni.
My head is all over the place, i know i am just going round in circles over and over and must be boring you all senseless, but i am trying to get my head round things.
I don't know if i am overdramatising etc and being narcisistic myself and making it all about me - which is why i haven't really engaged with the stately homes thing, don't think its a place for me - i wasn't abused as a child.
OP posts:
LEMmingaround ·
21/02/2014 18:20
Well, that was an interesting day - i went out with my friend and her children. My mum phoned and was obviously pissed off, then at lunch time a phone call, i needed to go and sort the dog out as he had shit stuck to his backside I told her to put him in the garden and i'd go round later. Had a lovely lunch with friend, she could see i was agitated so she dropped me at my mums and waited out side while i sorted the dogs shitty backside out - en route my mum rang, saying she needed to take the dog to the vet because he was in such a bad way - well by this time i was outside her house. Yeah he was in a mess and there was plenty of poo - think 60k dog with hair like an afghan hound Cleaned him up and went up to friends house, was there a few hours and the phone rang again - she was in a right state saying she couldnt get through to the doctors - i just told her to walk straight down there, luckily they got her an appointment with the practice nurse, my friend dropped me off and my mum was in a real state, crying and shaking etc and rubbing at her ears - I told the nurse she couldnt be left like this over the weekend and thankfully her doctor came and prescribed some diazepam (and jokingly told me not to "borrow" them) She has at least taken them and hopefully is feeling less upset - she was in full on panic attack mode. Fortunately she was being nice (for a change).
So will wait to see what the weekend brings - because i was at my friends all day i felt relaxed and dealt with it better, but i said to my friend this morning when my mum rang and i said i was out with a friend that there would be drama, i wasn't wrong!
Heres hoping the diazepam knocks her out for a bit!
OP posts:
oldgrandmama ·
20/02/2014 18:40
Oh dear, poor OP. She has all my sympathies. My own late mother was an arch manipulator. She was in a series of very nice nursing homes and they got so hacked off with her attitude, trouble-making etc. etc., that they kept moving her on to another home run by the same people. She even tried to get me to lie in order that she could get staff fired! It got to the stage where I was pretty well bribing the matron of one of the homes (with crates of booze, nights out in London, presents) not to throw her out.
Eventually I went no contact for just over a year, though I continued to provide pocket money and anything mother wanted, such as new bed, TV, Video recorder, clothes etc. I did visit her again a year or so before she died and she even apologised 
I think that going no contact can be a wake-up call to people such as OP's mother - maybe worth trying? She sounds an absolute bloody nightmare and I feel so sorry for OP and her family.
LEMmingaround ·
20/02/2014 18:11
rabbitlady - i didn't see your message i can only assume it was an unkind comment, well you are entitled to your opinion i guess.
diddl, my mum is 76 and up until recently has been amazingly fit, despite a long-term medical condition. Because she is losing her indepedance it is making her even more cantankerous than normal. but lets just say, everyone's scared of my mum and i could probalby still set up on someone if they upset me 
My eldest DD (who is 23) calls her "nana" because she is like catherine tate's nana - except worse! She is not five foot tall and has always been like a little rotweiller.
I know that i probably make her out to be an utter cunt on these threads and i don't mean to do that really, but it helps me to have an outlet to maon about it because poor DP can't put up with it all the time. She was awful to my dad all his life, he only really stayed with her because of me - but you know what, she bloody adored him and when he got sick with alzheimers once he was really poorly and had to go in a carehome, that rotweiller streak in her meant that when he was getting poor care it was sorted out and she was utterly devoted to him - at the end, he only recognised her and she slept by his bed in the hospice for a week when he died. She isn't a bad person, just a difficult one - the trouble is, my mental health isn't up to dealing with it.
OP posts:
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rabbitlady ·
20/02/2014 17:04
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