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AIBU?

To tell my friend her daughter has taken drugs?

83 replies

teenmum3 · 20/01/2014 13:30

A friends DD has told my DD she took a drug called Molly at the weekend. I have not heard of this drug before apparently it was taken in powder form wrapped in paper and swallowed.
I don't want to betray my DDs trust but equally I would not forgive myself if something happened to my friends DD.
What should I do?

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whatever5 · 21/01/2014 11:07

You are in a difficult position as if you tell your friend it may backfire. Your daughter might not trust you in future and she may fall out with her friend. It may be worth it if your friend would be able to stop her daughter taking a drug again but I'm not sure that would be the case.

It would perhaps be better if you talk to your daughter's friend yourself rather than immediately telling her mum.

CoteDAzur · 21/01/2014 10:55

I agree, Liberal. Drug education at school is a must. I would go further and advocate legalization (ensure quality control & safe supply) and age limit at 21.

mrsjay · 21/01/2014 09:32

tell her this isnt the same as the friend having half a bottle of vodka over the weekend this could kill the girl sometimes teens tell us things off the cuff so we do something about what ever it is you need to tell your friend imo

SaucyJack · 21/01/2014 09:26

Well quite Nigella. Last time I could be bothered to Google stats there were around two million Ecstasy tablets being taken a week the UK. One high profile death in 20 years ain't bad odds to be perfectly honest.

LiberalLibertine · 21/01/2014 08:48

I think it's about time they had honest drugs education in school. This 'just say no' shit teaches nothing.

NigellasDealer · 21/01/2014 00:11

plus it was nearly 20 years ago and you would be hard pushed to find anything more recent imo.

SaucyJack · 21/01/2014 00:09

Leah Betts is the worst advert for anti-drug hysteria there is.

She would still be alive today if she'd had correct information about the safe(r) way to take Ecstasy.

NigellasDealer · 21/01/2014 00:08

I went and looked too, and the coroner specifically said that the E without the water would not have killed her, nor would the water without the E.
very very sad but actually v rare.

Letitsnow9 · 21/01/2014 00:05

Nigella, I went and looked, it says
"In Leah's case, excessive water consumption was exacerbated by the ecstasy causing her body to release anti-diuretic hormones, stopping a normal level of urination that could have saved her."

specialmagiclady · 20/01/2014 23:44

Just to clarify something up thread: drugs are not illegal because they are dangerous, they are dangerous because they are illegal. In pure forms, lots of these substances are not terribly dangerous, compared to alcohol.

NigellasDealer · 20/01/2014 23:31

please correct me if i am wrong though

NigellasDealer · 20/01/2014 23:30

Leah died of lack of drug education not mdma - she drank so much water her brain drowned, as I recall.

Letitsnow9 · 20/01/2014 23:29

I would tell your friend and tell your daughter about Leah. How she just took it once for a party and the picture the family released of in icu before she died
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/4440438.stm

gamerchick · 20/01/2014 22:34

Saying that proper mdma isn't easy to get these days.

gamerchick · 20/01/2014 22:32

No mcat is not mdma. But you take one drug and it paves the way for another high and mcat is rife.. cheap and cut with all sorts of crap.

CoteDAzur · 20/01/2014 22:28

"Depending on the form of MDMA you can have varying effects , I felt the most out of control on it compared to other stuff and I could not stop weeing"

I dare say that what you took was not MDMA at all. You can't wee on MDMA. Urinary retention is one of its most well-known effects - i.e. you can't possibly wee, even if you want to.

claraschu · 20/01/2014 21:56

A close friend of my child died after taking MDMA last summer. I can't begin to describe the devastation and misery which her death left behind.

The friends who were with her when she died have had their world turned upside down, and will spend the rest of their lives thinking that they could have saved her.
I will PM you some information, and good luck with this difficult situation.

Nerfmother · 20/01/2014 21:36

Fair enough. Must be different depending on area. School were year when I told then dds friend was self harming, was thinking this.

NigellasDealer · 20/01/2014 21:34

round here they are, they do not offer any 'support' just condemnation and problems.

Nerfmother · 20/01/2014 21:33

Well I disagree Nigellas dealer, but it was just a suggestion. Social services aren't always a disaster for families.

prettywhiteguitar · 20/01/2014 20:35

Depending on the form of MDMA you can have varying effects , I felt the most out of control on it compared to other stuff and I could not stop weeing, this suggested to me that it had been cut with ketamine.

There are many different reasons for 16 year old girls not to do drugs that many 20-? Year olds think are totally acceptable. Health, vulnerability, impact on school, mental health...

I took pills and went a lovely shade of grey/yellow for the morning, imagine what my liver was thinking !

Drugs are lovely(otherwise we wouldn't do them) but they have a lot of nasty side effects that we should be warning our lovely, precious teenagers about, not just trying to scare them with the threat of them dying, which they won't believe if they see their friends doing it

NigellasDealer · 20/01/2014 20:16

yes well the way that schools act in league with SS these days IME it would be a disaster for the mother.

Gileswithachainsaw · 20/01/2014 20:16

What can school do? It's not their job they aren't her mother.

NigellasDealer · 20/01/2014 20:13

'tell the school' - and have social services banging on the mum's door?
great.

Nerfmother · 20/01/2014 20:12

I think I would be more inclined to tell the school tbh. You don't really know how the friend will react and she may not have all the skills she needs to deal with it. Certainly , my mums ability to assist was somewhat lacking and just drive us further apart over certain issues when I was younger.

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