To not brush my baby's teeth

[Stuckunderababy]

DC2 is 14 months and HATES having his teeth brushed. Always has. Whereas with DC1 it was quite easy and I didn't force on the days he didn't want to, if I took that approach with DC2 I'd never brush his teeth.

So at the moment we resort to practically pinning him down to do it. I've tried other brushes, 'helping' him when he's holding it, signing etc. nothing works. I know he likes the toothpaste and happily chews on the brush. He's just one of these babies that likes to do it all himself.

Someone recently said that as long as they get the fluoride it doesn't matter if they are actually brushed, but this really goes against the grain for me.

So AIBU to desist with the brushing and let him get on with it, or persevere in the hope he'll one day get it?

[TicTacZebra]

My toddler does not have a choice when it comes to brushing teeth. If she doesn't let me do it, I hold her down and do it. That might seem cruel, but I had most of my teeth removed when I was her age, as my mum couldn't be bothered to brush my teeth and fed me junk all day. I don't want that happening to her.

[WillBeatJanuaryBlues]

Does anyone consider the possibility that some of your or your siblings teeth were just bad? And would have gone anyway?

[WillBeatJanuaryBlues]

dino holding an arm down once in a blue moon for jabs and such like is very differnet to a huge battle looming and restraining and sitting and holding down your upset child whilst you force an object into its mouth twice a day.

And you wonder why they hate it and struggle?

[MrsKoala]

Does anyone remember the thread where someones nanny accused them of abuse for pinning their child down to clean his teeth? That was bonkers - pretty much everyone said DinoSnores point.

[kelda]

WillBeatJanuaryBlues - yes actually tooth decay can happen over just a few weeks, particularly if your child is unlucky enough to have bad teeth by nature. If you lay off brushing for a few weeks, the chances are you will just delay the battle.

'Does anyone consider the possibility that some of your or your siblings teeth were just bad? And would have gone anyway?'

All the more reason to brush them!

My parents both had very bad teeth and lost them all at an early age. My mother very very insistent that me and my brother always brushed our teeth with flouride toothpaste, and we both have excellent teeth.

[sebsmummy1]

I can remember a scene in Supernanny where the mother would lay the children down and force them to have their teeth cleaned by her. Cue screaming and crying and Supernanny was horrified.

I think she advocated the 'make it a fun thing' with their own special toothbrushes and songs etc.

I always felt a bit sorry for the Mum as she really did have the children's best interests at heart.

[kelda]

I am very grateful for my parents for insisting, sometimes forcing me to brush my teeth.

[kelda]

And making it fun works sometimes, but not all the time.

[Sharaluck]

I find cradling a baby/ young toddler works well, this helps keep little arms out of the way also. Making a nest of pillows for older toddler/child, helps keep them more still. Counting down works very well when they start to understand it. Never did a song but I can see how this would work as well.

Lots and lots of praise when all done.

Also being very consistent and firm every time so they learn quickly it is a necessity.

[Edendance]

I also agree that there are some things which just need doing. To leave it will give the message that fighting will mean it won't happen anymore, and that it works, you'll just delay the problems. Some things need to be non negotiable.

[WhereIsMyHat]

I've had top on down all three of my children to brush their teeth during toddler hood. I used to make evening brushing thorough and left the morning for them to play with/ chew the brush.

The older two at 3y10m and 5.5y are now very happy to brush.

[Ladyhawke127]

We only do little hawks teeth once a day, as it can be a real rugby tackle job. it is not ideal, but it is better than nothing. He does not have many sweet things, and never juice, so I hope that we are not creating problems for later. I just cannot do his teeth on my own. I don't have enough limbs!!

[TheOriginalSteamingNit]

It's non-negotiable, and will have to be endured until he grows out of objecting!
Can't believe anyone would suggest differently tbh!

[Mrsmorton]

For older children, there's an app called brush dj. It's free and plays music for two minutes and gives brushing tips etc.

[Crowler]

Bad breath is really unpleasant. I would not want to send my kids onto a path of social suicide.

[TimeToPassGo]

Inspired by this thread I was a bit more ruthless tonight. There was nose holding!

[elastamum]

Before my DC were born I asked my dentist what was the best thing I could do for their teeth and he said DONT GIVE THEM JUICE. He reccomended just giving them water to drink outside of meals, when they could have milk as well. And lay off the sweets between meals.

He said millions of children round the world don't clean their teeth, but their teeth are fine because they dont get given juice or sweets

So I never bought baby or toddler juice and we only drank water. (I did clean their teeth) Neither child (now teens) has ever had a filling and DS2 at 13 still only drinks water.

[purplebaubles]

The op is asking about a baby - just 14 months!

Why is everyone harping on about rewards etc etc. My 14 month old would not understand that in the slightest.

Also, genuine question, they're called milk teeth. Designed to fall out and be replaced with adult teeth. I can totally totally see why you have to be meticulous about your adult teeth, but surely how healthy they are when they arrive depends on diet, not on brushing of baby milk teeth which fall out anyway??

[lilyaldrin]

You don't think it's painful for them to have rotten milk teeth, or to have to have them extracted?

[purplebaubles]

But why would they get rotten in such a short space of time, with a good diet and only water to drink???

[Mrsmorton]

purple you keep some "milk teeth" for 12 years or so, they need to be looked after and despite them being "disposable" the pain they can cause is pretty upsetting for parents and dentists, let alone the child who has been let down by this. (I know not all children are created the same and sensory issues, special needs etc may mean compromises have to be made, I'm generalising for the majority of children)
They maintain the space needed for adult teeth to take up their correct position so treating them like they are unimportant because they arent forever is just storing up problems.

[LedareAnsley]

Pretty drastic measures for deciduous teeth which drop out and don't affect the permanent.

[purplebaubles]

Well, I get that. I'm just coming at it, from the point of view, that really, forcing a baby to clean their teeth just seems a little over the top.

As you say, could possibly have them until you're 10/11. So, what's wrong with really starting the full on brush routine at 3+ when they can understand what's going on, and cooperate? (and also would be open to bribery etc!!)

I have a 14 month old. Our dentist (who's opinion I value) said that given she gets so distressed, and clamps her mouth shut, to not worry too much about it until she's older. She has a fantastic diet, good genes and only drinks water. His opinion was that it was highly unlikely she'd end up with decay.

I might just add, I think genetics/diet play a much bigger part than brushing. I hated brushing as a child and didn't use toothpaste at all until I was 14. (only water). I have fantastic white, straight, beautiful, healthy teeth.

[LedareAnsley]

The World Health Organisation seems to think that sugary BM is okay until two and beyond also.

[ifyourehoppyandyouknowit]

Not as drastic as having to have a general anesthetic to have them removed because they are black and infected and causing you pain.

80% of the time my toddler does not mind having them brushed or I can talk him into it. 20% of the time I need to do it by force. Better than manky teeth, pain and bad breath. Same as strapping him into the car seat or not letting him run in front of the road. I'm his parent. It's my job to safeguard his health and his dental health is part of that.