To not brush my baby's teeth

[Stuckunderababy]

DC2 is 14 months and HATES having his teeth brushed. Always has. Whereas with DC1 it was quite easy and I didn't force on the days he didn't want to, if I took that approach with DC2 I'd never brush his teeth.

So at the moment we resort to practically pinning him down to do it. I've tried other brushes, 'helping' him when he's holding it, signing etc. nothing works. I know he likes the toothpaste and happily chews on the brush. He's just one of these babies that likes to do it all himself.

Someone recently said that as long as they get the fluoride it doesn't matter if they are actually brushed, but this really goes against the grain for me.

So AIBU to desist with the brushing and let him get on with it, or persevere in the hope he'll one day get it?

[MrsKoala]

Okay, tomorrow i will try it after the bath. Does it matter that he bathes just before dinner?

[chocolatecrispies]

We also don't force - teeth are important but so is a child's control over their body - I don't want my children to think it is okay for anyone to pin them down and force objects inside their body against their will, no matter what.

We didn't force our son when he resisted but keep offering. He now brushes his teeth willingly and has no cavities aged 5.5. Even if he did have cavities I would not force him, holes in teeth are reparable, the damage you do to a child by forcing them may not be.

[SoftSheen]

YABU. For me, teeth brushing is one of very few things that is non-negotiable.

If DS doesn't like having his teeth brushed, think how much less he will like having the pain of rotting teeth, being held down to be examined by a dentist, and then having a general anaesthetic so that teeth can be removed/treated. And then he will still have to learn how to brush his teeth anyway.

The easiest way is to lie him down on a back on a bed or changing mat, and try to distract by singing or talking to him. He may well object for the first few times, but soon it will not bother him and you can make it a game.

[MrsKoala]

lilyaldrin, SparkingMuppet said to straddle them with knees pinning arms down and ankles crossed over their legs - that to me sounds a bit like sitting on them. I would worry i would sit too hard (i'm about 13st!). I don't think i could risk it.

I will be firmer tho.

[notso]

I think the fluoride is very important, that is why you're not supposed to use any water.

I think tooth brushing is non negotiable too, though I will drop to once a day if things get too bad. DS1 hated having his done and DS3 is following suit. You just have to try and do you best.

[bump6]

Hi, have similar issues with dd 2.
I saw Hv, last week & she said as long as they get a good brush every couple of days, it's fine!
so confused with what is true.
I think she needs to be in good habits & learn that it's something that has to be done, twice a day and every day.
shall be trying the sticker reward chart:-)

[MrsKoala]

SoftSheen - my DS will not lay down ever, singing or distraction does bollocks all sadly. If i even try to lay him back we get screaming and thrashing. He doesn't even lay down to go to sleep - we can only lay him after he's gone off.

[lilyaldrin]

Wrapping them up and cradling them is probably easier/nicer than straddling imo. I only had to do it for a couple of weeks with DS by the way, and then he started allowing it with no fuss. He is quite happy to have his teeth brushed and brush his own now at 3 so I don't think it has done any psychological damage!

[Salmotrutta]

I have a relative who is a dental nurse.

They see many children having extractions because their parents couldn't bear to "upset" their children by being firm about tooth brushing.

And these are not parents who let their children have fizzy drinks and sweets all the time - they are parents who think that because they are careful about diet it will all be fine

[Mrsmorton]

The plaque needs to be removed, at this stage fluoride is good too but the mechanical removal of the plaque is so important.

It's awful seeing a child in tears with dental pain and there's nothing that can be done until they reach the top of the GA waiting list. Brushing is so so so important.

Every couple of days isn't enough, the plaque needs to be got rid of properly at least once a day. The trouble is there is no immediate cause and effect, it's not like pricking your finger and it being painful, it's a year or two down the line that the pain will come.

[TempusFuckit]

Not much useful to add, but my DS (2.10) responds to a choice of quick or gentle brushing. He always says gentle, and then I tell him he needs to open wide then. Still complains mind you, and is then a huge drama llama with spitting it out.

If that fails, I will pin him down though. If he's not secure, he'd thrash about and risk bashing head or limbs on the sanitaryware.

[MrsKoala]

yes lily, i think the towel wrapping sounds best for us. Altho the little bugger usually wont be towel dried after a bath and just runs round naked and wet till he dries, i chase him under the table to get the cream on him . So a towel round him may be a novelty too.

[GlitzAndGiggles]

My dd went through a short phase of hating it but there was no way they weren't being brushed! An old friends 2yo had to get 10 teeth taken out!! I get my dd to go "eeeeeeeee" and "ahhhhh" so I can get all the teeth

[TimeToPassGo]

But what about baby teeth? How can you properly remove plaque from them? Genuine question but toddler teeth are so tiny I can't even get at them properly.

[SparkleToffee]

There is a huge difference in between pinning them down or being blasé though . The opposite of ramming a toothbrush into a screaming child's mouth, isn't not really caring about teeth so they rot and fall out!

Just because I don't think you should force them doesn't mean their teeth dont get brushed

[Salmotrutta]

And I certainly don't think it's barbaric to firmly restrain your child to avoid tooth extraction.

My kids got used to having their teeth brushed from the time the first one made an appearance and neither had a filling until they were 20 or so.

And by then (what with them being adults and all) the fillings were down to them being careless about brushing.

They'd had years of dental check ups by then and knew what they should be doing to protect their teeth - because me, DH and their Dentist had drummed it into them.

[Minnieisthedevilmouse]

At our children's centre a dentist from the hospital came in. She does ten operations on children A WEEK removing teeth so rotted the child cannot eat for pain. I'm in London. On half those it was five or more removals.

Teeth brushing has changed. When I was a child you brushed spat rinsed. Now, the advice is to brush and leave. This way the fluoride stays in the mouth. According to her negating the need for mouth wash.

My 12mth old now has her four front teeth cleaned. My 2yr old doesn't miss. I no longer view it as negotiable although previous to her talk I did.

Volestair, suck your thumb. Feel teeth? No. That's a decent enough approx of breast feeding a baby with teeth. Occasional nip if get it wrong. (But yes I have heard horror stories....!)

I'm sure google will give info backing this up.

[Minnieisthedevilmouse]

Five or more removals in one op. Sorry. Wasn't clear.

[Mrsmorton]

Extractions are something like the third most common reason for children to need a GA.

[SparklingMuppet]

D's

[SparklingMuppet]

Ds2 is now 6 and does his own teeth for the most part and is entirely unfazed by the few months where pinning down was occasionally necessary when he was around two or three years old. We never ever sat on him, the weight would be dangerous. And we were never blasé about it either, quite the opposite. So I think you can probably all unflabber your ghasts...

[MakingEveryDayCount]

My eldest (now 10) used to always HATE having his teeth cleaned, and used to kick up the most almighty fuss some nights when it came to cleaning them.
It was always non negotiable though - teeth HAD to be cleaned.
I used to try and make teeth cleaning fun we used to sing songs as we brushed, lol.
I remember singing "here we go round the Mulberry bush" but with the words adapted to teeth cleaning friendly ones (can't remember the exact words, was agos ago!
It used to take his mind off it anyway and get him giggling enough to get his mouth open and teeth cleaned!
In other words, make teeth cleaning fun and less of a chore.
He's nearly 11 years old and never had so much of a filling yet or ANYTHING at the dentists where as quite a few of his peers have!
Get into a good teeth brushing habit from a very early age - as soon as the first tooth arrives with a very soft bristle brush.

[KenAdams]

Never had a problem with 20 month old DD but I sit her on the toilet (seat closed obviously) and give her her toothbrush and tell her she's really big and clever for brushing her teeth then do my own and pretend I'm not watching her. Then I do a rhyme I made up about shiny sparkly teeth while I brush hers for her. It's all about rewarding and distractions.

[MrsKoala]

I am laughing at the thought of DS just happily sitting on the toilet or being remotely distracted or entertained by me singing a song/doing a rhyme. Sadly some children are just not that docile or pliable. DS also does not understand rewards so no bribery can be undertaken.