AIBU? Help me settle huge argument with DP re: car

[AnitaManeater]

My friend recently offered us her old car at mates rates, basically an 05 plate car for £350. She is swapping to a motability car as her DD is severely disabled and needed a car which her new wheelchair could fit in. My friend was anxious about having tyre kickers round and as a single parent with no mechanical knowledge she was keen to sell to a friend rather than have strangers round. We were lucky enough to be offered first refusal.

We decided it would be a good idea to buy the car to replace DPs. DPs car is 11yrs old with 200k on the clock. it's still on the original clutch and has cost us a huge amount in repairs over last couple of years. Its scruffy inside and to be honest, the next big repair bill on it will be make or break. New car has 50k on the clock and is very tidy, not to mention newer, cheaper to tax and insure.

So we now have new car on the driveway, awaiting the tax disc as it's had to be re registered as a petrol car as it was previous exempt due to disability. DP has now got cold feet and wants to sell it. There is nothing wrong with it, he's just taken against it as it's a Peugeot. I'm fuming. We were lucky to be offered first refusal and I know there were a lot of her other friends interested. I'm particularly angry as he intends to profit from it. Friend is a lone parent on IS and if we don't actually use the car ourselves I feel we have taken the piss out of her generosity.

AIBU or is it a case of once the deal is done it's ours to do with as we please? I see my lovely friend regularly and I'm going to be put in a really awkward position if she asks where it is.

[AnitaManeater]

Yes he intends to keep using his old car. I'm being accused of pushing him into buying the replacement car. I only asked him for a straight yes or no answer after 4 days of deliberation.

I have told him if he does get shot of the Peugeot he is not to ask to borrow my car when his breaks down or needs to go to the garage. I'm getting the silent treatment at the moment though.

I would take the Peugeot on myself but I have only recently paid off the finance on my car and sort of want the benefit of not paying £90 a month out on it.

[BalloonSlayer]

If he genuinely has changed his mind, so long as he gives the friend the difference between the £350 and whatever he gets for it, she'll probably be OK about it.

Selling it on for more than he paid and keeping the money would mean he is morally bankrupt.

I would never have anything further to do with someone who bought a car for £350 from a vulnerable person then sold it on immediately for a profit. Especially as it sound very much as if that was what he had in mind all along.

Tough call if aforementioned morally bankrupt person is your DP.

for you. It must be difficult.

[SomewhereBeyondTheSea]

You could tell her he's changed his mind, but volunteer to sell it on her behalf (deal with all the tyre-kickers etc), and pass on the proceeds to her? That would take the hassle of selling off her shoulders, get him out of this hole he's dug you both into, and also be a nice gesture of friendship to boot.

[PacificDingbat]

Yes, I thought that too, Deja: did he ever intend to use the car himself?

He IBU and unkind.
It sounds like you got a great deal there - if he does not wish to keep it himself, then he could offer to see it for your friend on the understanding that the profit is hers.

Oh, and YANBU.

[WooWooOwl]

I'd be asking if he had a valid reason for wanting a different car.

Changing your mind just because it's a Peugeot is not a valid reason, in fact it's a bit pathetic.

If he does come up with a decent reason as to why he wants a different car, then I don't think it would be entirely wrong to profit on it. Presumably he'd only make a profit of he put some work in to sell it and show it to people, including strangers. If your friend had been prepared to do the same then she could have got more money for it, but she chose to sell it at a reduced rate so that she didn't have to do that, therefore it may have been a fair price. Hard to know without knowing the car and doing a bit of research etc.

If he did sell it, then he owes it to the friend to be upfront and honest about it just out of decency.

But I think the really issue is that he's changed his mind for no good reason.

[RhondaJean]

Tbh I agree with him. Peugeots are shirty cars. Sell it and give your friend any profit.

I had a Peugeot once and it was a complete money put sold it at a loss to get rid of the fucker. My dads a mechanic and he says dont touch them with a barge pole.

Out of interest what's your dh driving just now?

[AnitaManeater]

Also have said how wrong it is to profit from a person like my friend in a vulnerable position.

He now thinks good option would be to sell it to nephew for £350 and I also think that's wrong. Friend does not know DPs nephew.If he's going to do that, I think he should sell it to nephew at the price in glasses guide and pass profit to my friend.

DP was aware that the car was a Peugot before purchase. He was there at the point of sale and checked car over.

[HECTheHeraldAngelsSing]

I agree that he would be a total shit to try to profit from this. I agree that telling him fine sell the car if you want but every penny above the 350 we paid goes straight to X
would instantly tell you if his hope all along was to take advantage of your friend's generosity during this difficult time for her.
If its actually just that the car isnt right for him he'll be perfectly happy to hand over the cash cos he wont be trying to take advantage. Will he?

[AnitaManeater]

Rhonda he knew it was a Peugot all along. He could have said no thanks before purchasing which is the issue in a nutshell.

Hes got a vauxhall Astra at the moment. The engine is fine but I'm sure there is something up with the gearbox. I have to really hammer the clutch down to change from 1st to 2nd and it feels like the gearstick will snap. I am no mechanic though.

[specialsubject]

seconded - sell it (although why would you?) if you must, but ALL profit goes to your friend. You only take out the advertising fees, you don't charge for your time.

[AnitaManeater]

No work would be required to sell on at a profit. It's got MOT til October, just no tax presently as I explained earlier. She even had it valeted for us. DP has driven the grand total of 5 miles in it.

[TheCraicDealer]

Why can't you just sell the Astra and save the cash, use the Peugeot until it starts giving jip, then exchange it and buy whatever the fuck he wants?!

You could have a good two, three years with that car, for way less than what a similarly aged non-Peugeot motor would loose in depreciation alone. He's being a cock. I bet now he's just being stubborn and just maintaining his position for the sale of it. DO NOT LET HIM SELL IT.

[ToffeeOwnsTheSausage]

Everyone has said it. Your P is a prat and an advantage taker. You could well lose your friend over this if he goes ahead with this unacceptable plan.

[MrsSteptoe]

In small defence of your husband, I think changing your mind about a car is allowed. I had a massive change of heart after buying a colleague's car, and just drove a car I didn't like for years because I didn't know how to get out of it gracefully.
As others said ^^, sell it and give the profit to your chum. She may even be happy that you've sold on at a better profit than she had the time/energy to do. I hate selling cars and sold one of mine to a friend just because it felt like less trouble.

[AnitaManeater]

that was the original plan Craic, a bloody good plan too! that's what I want to do. So angry that he's wanting to mess with my friendship

[MrsSteptoe]

Oh, and his nephew shouldn't profit from a bargain at your friend's expense either!

[IamInvisible]

We've had a few Peugeots and never had a problem with any of them. My dad is a car dealer, he sells loads and rarely has them back with faults.

We got rid of our 05 plate Astra the Summer before last. It was beginning to cost us money. It was a complete PITA. I'd never, ever buy another. Absolutely awful cars.

[Peekingduck]

OK, this lady practically gave you the car. So of course nobody should profit from that apart from her.
Your DP has "taken against" the car and doesn't want it. That's fine. YOU sell it, and give her the profit. Don't let DP do it, it's very likely he planned to make a profit all along and can't be trusted.
Don't even think of taking any sort of fee for doing this, look upon the work as being thanks for her initial generous act. I'm sure that she will be thrilled to get the wonderful surprise of unexpected income.

[gobbynorthernbird]

He's being an arse, but it is his perogative to not want the car. If he's happy to get the £350 back from another friend/family member of your DF then that's fine. If he thinks for a second that he can profit from it, or someone your DF doesn't know should have it for cost, then kick right off.

[Peekingduck]

p.s. If he sells it to the nephew for £350 expect it to be sold on shortly after at a profit. Will you then be certain he hasn't split it with your DP? Car selling isn't the sole domain of menfolk, if anyone sells it you do it - then you can ensure that 100% of the profit, without a sellers fee, goes to your kind and generous friend.

[ithaka]

Your husband is being totally and utterly unreasonable & very unfair to you as well. He is upsetting you & undermining a friendship you value by changing his mind for no good reason. Frankly, he is being a total prick & you will be doing him no favours by enabling such pointless behaviour.

It would better for him to accept the car with good grace & appreciate the bargain or it will chip away at your respect for him.

[Floralnomad]

Just tell him that if he doesn't want it its going back to the original owner for the original price ,then she can do what she wants with it . I suspect that he could see a profit in this from the beginning or a good deal for his nephew .

[ComposHat]

Who is the registered keeper of the car? If it is you, just tell him to fuck off and withhold the logbook.

[AnitaManeater]

thank you everyone, really really appreciate the time you have taken to reply. DP now seems to have pulled his head out of his arse of his own accord. Peugot is staying and the Astra will be sold, as per the original plan.

[bumbumsmummy]

Your partner is an arsehole because he's taken advantage of her generosity don't let him do that register the car in your name n bugger him