AIBU to think that teenagers carol singing are just begging

[Norudeshitrequired]

2 teenagers knocked on my door this evening and started singing a Christmas carol when I opened the door. I immediately sent them away.
These girls were dressed in very fashionable clothes and I don't think for one minute that they were trying to raise money to feed themselves. I think they were just after extorting some cash from the local residents.
What would you have done in this situation?
Personally, I think it is just begging and that nobody should give money to teenagers who are knocking on the doors of random strangers. We have a lot of elderly people living alone in the area and these two girls would be bigger, physically, than a lot of the elderly people and might come across as very intimidating.

[LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726]

Well that's the crux of it momb. You take your children to families you know locally. Not a problem for Halloween or Christmas or anything else really.

I wouldn't want strangers coming to my door bearing gifts or anything else. Friends/neighbours by arrangement, which is what you've described.

[momb]

I like carol singers. It's festive and traditional. I usually give them money or mince pies, though we do gather in the hall and make them sing for a bit. I really don't mind what they are wearing or whether they have a licence.
I take my brood out carol singing to the families we know locally and we hand out cookies or snowman soup from a big basket we haul round. It makes me glad when people come to the door with a grumpy 'clear off beggars' face and then smile when we present them with little gifts.

[NewtRipley]

And why assume they want fag/booze money. You reveal your prejudice right there

[NewtRipley]

You sent them off before you knew what they were about, OP

Personally, I don't see much difference between giving little kids sweets for dressing up and giving teens money for singing. I don't get much out of that "begging"

[vladthedisorganised]

Where I used to live, we had a group of neighbours who went carol-singing most years: they'd put a note through the doors saying when they'd be doing it so you could either be in or out depending on your mood. They made quite a bit for the local hospital.

If it's a couple of people half-heartedly singing 'We wish you a merry Christmas' (not the carol, that line or the carol) and then asking for a fiver I'd probably insist on another (probably more complicated) song; but if they make a bit more effort I'd be happy enough to give them a mince pie and a quid. If I was feeling evil I'd encourage DD to join in

It's a sight better than the chuggers, who are after a whole lot more than a quid and a mince pie..

[MrsUptight]

We stand there smiling and make them sing the whole song. Sometimes we make a request too! We love to see their discomfort....some can sing well though and know all the words...we like it! What's up with giving them a pound for fags and beer. Tis' part of the Christmas spirit!

[thegreylady]

I always give to carol singers as long as they sing a reasonable amount of the carol fairly tunefully.I don't mind if the money is for themselves or for charity.

[Norudeshitrequired]

Shockers - it sounds like they made an effort, unlike the two I had on my doorstep last night.

[Shockers]

As teenagers, our very talented niece and nephews used to sing carols round their posh housing estate in a well-heeled coastal town. They made hundreds of pounds each year, which they used to buy Christmas presents. They were savvy enough to wear winter coats, hats and scarves, rather than hoodies though, so they looked the part. Their parents, to my knowledge, had no idea what they were doing.

Two of them have gone on to become quite successful musicians/singers, another is well on his way to his first million aged 19. Not bad for a bunch o' beggars .

[Boaty]

My own DS1 and 2 were choristers..they paid for their own music lessons for a few months with the proceeds of proper carol singing! They were given notes not coins!

[Boaty]

We used to be targeted by the local oiks who threw things at our door, verbally abuse us, bully DC, fire air rifles at our windows all year round.
When Christmas came they would turn up to 'Carol sing' and seriously expect money.
I generally ignored the door but once I opened it, got 'We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year' sung at us and stuck their hand out...I looked at them and said 'and?'
They looked at each other then sang it again...I said 'Oh are you Carol singing? Well..sing a Carol then!' They looked at each other and said 'don't know none' So I told them to go away learn then!
One came back the next night and sang the first verse of 'Away in a manger' I gave him 40p...he looked at it and went off saying 'fucking tight cow!'

[snowed]

I took my guides to an old peoples home, we sang carols and gave out presents and home made Christmas cards.

That is a lovely thing to do and in the generous spirit of Christmas

[BornOfFrustration]

We had 2 last night. Young teenage boys dressed up as father Christmas, one had a guitar. They were quite good.

[TeenAndTween]

I have been known to hand out orders of service (with words for carols in) to people who come carol singing and only know the first verse of 'We wish you a merry Christmas'.

Happy to give money if its tuneful and enjoyable. If it is a tuneless dirge with no knowledge of words or tune, then they get nowt except a Merry Christmas (and sometimes advice to learn some carols before they go carol singing).

[Ifcatshadthumbs]

Last year teenage girls turned up in onsies and sang a Christmas carol (badly) it was cringing lay awful but me & ds just stood at listened. At the end I was all "oh wasn't that lovely ds? Thank you girls" and then I closed the door. Didn't occur to me to give them anything! Hopefully they won't come back. I don't object to them doing it for money as such but it's the cringyness of the bad singing that makes me squirm.

[SomethingkindaOod]

Tbh honest my heart sinks when I see older people coming down I the path more than hulking great teenagers, at least the teens will be straight to the point and won't start trying to talk to me about God or get me to give them my bank details for a charity I've never heard of..

[NotMeNotYouNotAnyone]

I took my guides to an old peoples home, we sang carols and gave out presents and home made Christmas cards. They gave us squash and mince pies and warm fuzzy feelings.

[Ephiny]

It's annoying (like doorstep charity collectors, or 'trick and treat') and you have every right to just not answer the door.

I think 'intimidating' is going a bit far though, unless they were behaving in an aggressive manner or something .

[Norudeshitrequired]

I wouldn't have opened it if I knew it was two strangers (teenagers or otherwise) but we don't have a 'spy hole' in the door and my husband assumed it was the window cleaner. The door didn't stay open for very long though

[Fudgeface123]

Well I wouldn't have opened the door in the first place if I saw two teenagers on the doorstep in the dark.

What does that make me?

[Norudeshitrequired]

Lying witch - I agree with the normalising illegitimate door knocking. I wouldn't have opened the door if my husband hadn't shouted that it must be the window cleaner as he hasn't collected his fee yet.

Funnily enough, we had a teenager knock on the door at a previous address one night at 10pm, with a bucket in his hand asking if he could clean the windows [hmmm]. On that occasion I was home alone and opened the upstairs window as we lived in a very high crime area. I couldn't ignore the door totally as it was well known that burglars would go around knocking on doors to check who was home. Window cleaning at 10pm on a winters night, really? It's just one of the reasons why I think that no stranger has any legitimate reason for knocking on my door after it has gone dark (or after 7pm during the dark winters months).

I don't for one minute think that these girls were potential burglars or that the were about to terrorise me, but I still think it's damn cheeky to go about knocking on strangers doors with a very bad version of we wish you a merry Christmas in expectancy that you might get some free cash. A lot of the people on my street are retired, many well over 70 years old and living alone, they probably don't want to answer the door to anyone when it's dark.

[AMuppetChristmasCorral]

I really miss carol singing, and carol singers.

I grew up in a fairly small community, where it was pretty common practice - my friends and I used to put on some smart clothes and tinsel and sing traditional carols in four part harmony. I used to love the surprised looks on people's faces when I hit the high note in the descant of Hark the Herald There would be groups of small children with their parents singing Little Donkey and Away in a Manger, and some family groups.

It was generally accepted that if you had a bucket you were collecting money for charity, if you didn't it was just spreading Christmas cheer. We used to alternate, charity one year, fun the next.

It was lovely, and a really great way of keeping the community close. People who didn't want carollers generally put a little sign on the door/window so you knew not to call there. Nobody up here seems to do it though; in the five years I've lived here we haven't had a single one

[LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726]

I wish that posters who don't agree with the OP/myself and other people who've said they don't like this weren't dismissed as some kind of 'Scrooges'. Firstly, it's unkind - secondly, it's inaccurate. I quietly get on with giving to the charities of my choice every single year, without fanfare.

It's not really about 'teens' either. You wouldn't really have toddlers and primary school aged children rocking up to knock on doors for money. If they did however, I'm sure they'd make more effort because from my experience, young children like to give it their 'all' and it's that which makes their efforts endearing. They attract 'givers' when they're in public because they're part of a group, performing and actually, not door-knocking, which many people hate for a variety of reasons.

When was the last time you saw a 'teen', old or young, performing in a group in public, carol singing in town to raise for charity? I haven't - not in recent years anyway. That's fine but WHY do some teens think they have the right to knock on doors? Where is their Christmas spirit, hmm? It's no kind of performance and it's i-n-t-r-u-s-i-v-e. Some people might not mind but there are many who do and we have to put up with the interruption just the same... a bit like cold-callers.

To the parents of said teens who think they are perfectly entitled to 'perform' by door-knocking and screeching/warbling the wrong words to a badly thought out medley of 'tunes' - give your children money YOURSELF. These are YOUR children, not ours.

Lastly, I suppose we all use our own reference points. I spent a good amount of time when I last worked for a council, working with the elderly and imploring them NOT to answer the door as willingly as they seemed to do. It's not that YOUR children are going to cosh them over the head but by frequenting and normalising 'door-knocking' for no legitimate reason, they are, unwittingly, setting up the vulnerable quite nicely for attacks by thugs and thieves who have no conscience about people in society.

[HenriettaMaria]

I'm guessing you smiled, talked politely and could sing in tune and more than the first line of each carol

I guess so (it was a long time ago .

I do regret that so few young people - including my own offspring - actually know all the words to any carol these days. And if I was to call one of my kids and ask them to sing a Christmas carol, he or she would be more than likely to launch in to Jingle Bells or something.

I just think most kids are ok and that it's a shame that they often get a bad press and/or are treated with suspicion, or even hostility, when they are indulging in average, innocuous activities such as carol singing.

[SomethingkindaOod]

We get this a lot, they tend to start with we wish you a merry christmas then I ask them if they know anything else. Usually they can do at least a verse of one of the traditional carols and they get some change. And occasionally a mince pie
But I love seeing children/teens using their initiative. My DS and some of his friends did some shopping for the elderly residents when we had bad snow earlier this year. The same 'hoodies' that get slagged off on our local FB page have been seen clearing people's paths! the residents tend to insist that they take a pound or so in return, and at Halloween they go out ToTing, the costumes are amazing. I detest this attitude of teenagers=thugs that gets thrown around all the time. None of them are perfect but assuming that they are going out and immediately intimidating people is wrong.
And of course it's begging! All carol singing is begging whether it's done by a church group with collecting tins or a bunch of cold teens wearing clothes with hoods!