To be furious!!!

[MamaPingu]

I was in the bath with DS who is 13 weeks old. Me and DP bath with him sometimes then the other lifts him out dries him and gets him warm.

So tonight I get in the bath with DS and DP goes and watches tv for 5 minutes after refusing to do the pots, brilliant start.

Me and DS are having a lovely time he's kicking like mad and smiling. After a good 10 minutes I started shouting DP thinking he'd forgot. So I kept shouting over and over and banging on the glass wondering where he was.
So I filled the bath with more warm water as he was getting cold. Another 10 minutes passed and DS was getting cold again and was fed up. So I shouted and shouted and no reply. I had to get on my knees in the bath and get out with him as careful as I could which is dangerous in my opinion it's easy to slip in a bath.

I wrapped him up as quick as I could and walked into the living room pissed off. He wasn't there, I went up the stairs and he was fast asleep on the bed!!!!

I am absolutely furious I shouted for him to get up and told him how we'd been waiting ages and could have slipped getting out of the bath.
He said "I told you I was tired " in a whingy tone

What a moron!!!! I am fuming

[MrsGarlic]

I actually think YANBU. He knew you were waiting for him to come and get you and the baby from the bath. If he'd fallen asleep on the sofa from tiredness that's one thing, but he purposely went upstairs to sleep! He could at least have stopped off at the bathroom to tell you! That would piss me off.

[MrsGarlic]

It's not about whether you can get out the bath on your own. The point is, he said he'd help, then fucked off to bed and didn't even have the courtesy to let you know.

[ParenthoodJourney]

It sounds like you just wanted a moan and it's that little cherry on top that tips us over the edge. I understand this completely - things that wouldn't usually be a big deal driving you utterly insane! I've often, often, too bloody often thought life would be easier alone because you're absolutely fine doing everything but the moment they come home and winge your instantly in a bad mood! It's like they're more of a child than the child sometimes! Id give yourselves both a break. As your DS starts to get a bit older maybe think about taking some time out alone, and together without DS. I really do understand this feeling - but my advice would be to give yourselves a break, make the effort to see friends and to see each other and try an talk about it things when they happen. My DS is 4 and a half and me and DP have had a very very rocky relationship but I can hand on heart say now I am the happiest I have ever been and glad I stuck to it. it's all about working each other out and it can take years after an LO comes along xx

[MamaPingu]

Skyadelic- that's exactly what went through my head, I thought it'd be ok for me to just get out of the bath with him but then it crossed my mind that if I did fall he obviously can't hear me and wouldn't hear DS crying if I hit my head for example. Then I got really stressed out and worked up that if I was to fall we'd be left there essentially!

A friends mum a few years ago slipped in the bathroom hit her head and bled to death until someone found her the later that evening as they'd been out so having that go through my mind didn't help!

[CailinDana]

It sounds like he deliberately ignored you as a way of getting back at you for asking him to do the pots. He sounds like an immature dickhead. But you're not ready to leave him right now so this is what you have to expect until you do leave him.

[CoffeeTea103]

If you knew he was a mummy's boy and you have to bring all the cards to the table, the surely you knew what you were getting into having a baby with him. What did you expect to change?

[pomdereplay]

Sorry OP, not much to advise but your 'partner' sounds like a lazy, self-serving twunt. Sorry he isn't supporting you and pulling his weight -- the phrase 'shape up or ship out' comes to mind...

[ParenthoodJourney]

I think she can expect a little bit of change maybe, my DP was definitely a mummies boy he didn't even know how to butter bread when we met! Fast forward seven years and he's amazing - they take a bit longer to grow up! X

[ParenthoodJourney]

Saying that you have to have the patience of a bloody saint!!! :-D

[justmyview]

New baby, probably your first? Take your time and be kind to yourselves. If the baby isn't sleeping well, then neither you nor DP is at your best, so this isn't the time to be picking fights

[Hawkmoth]

God I couldn't get out of a bath with a baby. Well I probably could but I once fell getting into the bath and nearly broke my leg. I had to crawl and ring my mum while baby was screaming in the cot. I thought I was going to be sick from the pain. So I am extremely bath-cautious.

I still have a dent in my leg. Seven years later.

[MamaPingu]

Parenthood Journey- I am the most patient and tolerant person alive haha, I tend to call it being a mug though!
I am just genuinely nice and treat people how I expect to be treated and I dare say it gets you nowhere! but at least you know you're a decent human being

[CPtart]

One does bath, one does pots. Better use of manpower.

[AChristmassyJerseySpud]

Its not a competition of who is the most tired. Give him some leeway he is tired as well

[NotYoMomma]

why can't you or he do it alone? all you need is a bath mat :/

sounds a bit ott if it was a one off first time falling asleep tbh

[paxtecum]

OP: Does he stay up late playing on his phone / computer?

Surely a young man shouldn't need to sleep in till midday, if they've gone to bed sober at a reasonable time.

[Summerwood1]

Poor hubby!

[Primadonnagirl]

Why didn't you just put the pots in the bath with you?!

[TheGinLushMinion]

OP think you've had it a bit rough on this thread tbh

He does sound a little like a useless twunt & I agree that shape up or ship out is a good thing to address him with.

[Joysmum]

Let's put it a another way, I'd be utterly pissed off if my hubby were furious with me because I was tired enough to want to lie down and then fell asleep. As someone else said, it's not a competition as to who's most tired soid be most miffed. If hubby or I are tired and not sleeping well then we take sleep when we can get it. A 30 mins power nap can make all the difference and it's not like the washing up is suddenly going to mutate or like you couldn't get out the bath by yourself, plenty of single patents manage to do far more challenging tasks than that.

I'd pick your fights carefully as this really isn't that big a deal. Wouldn't want to turn into a nightmare nag.

[youbethemummylion]

Ah so he is generally selfish and lazy. I would lay your cards on the table with him if he can make changes then fine if he cant you need to decide wether you can live with that or not.

[Norudeshitrequired]

I was laughing so much at the thought of the OP helplessly scrabbling about in the bath that I couldn't even read all of the posts.

LTB for being tired and falling asleep

[JRmumma]

FWIW I wouldn't trust myself to get out of the bath whilst holding a slippery wet newborn and would be raging just like you if this happened to me.

[Bunbaker]

"Surely a young man shouldn't need to sleep in till midday, if they've gone to bed sober at a reasonable time."

I was wondering too. If he needs that much sleep then perhaps there is an underlying medical issue.

[Norudeshitrequired]

Surely a grown woman shouldn't need help to get a baby out of the bath.