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AIBU?

To think not looking like you parents

214 replies

DevonLodger · 23/10/2013 20:59

Is not a good reason to take a child into care and carry out a DNA test.

I look nothing like my daughters. Should I be worried?

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friday16 · 23/10/2013 21:37

I would love there to be a report from the Irish authorities that explains how this has happened

The police are (a) stupid and (b) racist. Next question?

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PenelopePipPop · 23/10/2013 21:39

There are two questions surely? Should parents who do not look like their children expect to have to prove their children are theirs with DNA testing?

There are obviously occasions when that is OK - when another parent turns up saying the child is theirs, or something else places the index of suspicion very high. But not just 'being a different colour' because that misunderstands the whole of genetics and indeed evolution.

The other more alarming question is why does the child need to be removed from the parent's care whilst the tests take place? Again unless they have extraordinary evidence the parents will flee (which can be managed by asking to surrender passports) they do not need to take the child out of her home.

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TeWiSavesTheDay · 23/10/2013 21:39

There was a record of the child at the hospital though, this is one if the reason's child was returned.

I find the idea that things are believed or not based on hospital records quite scary though! I regularly see it on here that someone has requested hospital records only to be told they are lost. I know some of mine are missing.

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Justforlaughs · 23/10/2013 21:41

Why do you think the police are stupid? friday
I admit that the media stories may not be completely accurate, but as I read it, they gave false information and refused to give DNA samples. Is that not enough to raise suspicion?

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rhetorician · 23/10/2013 21:42

Well I'd be fucked if they asked for documentation. I could produce their birth certs and give time of birth etc, but i have nothing that would prove my relationship to them. I think it's outrageous and needs to be investigated thoroughly. Anyone who wants to get a sense of how ingrained these attitudes are should look at politics.ie and the thread opened on this. Absolutely shocking attitudes.

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JackNoneReacher · 23/10/2013 21:42

I think 'lack of documentation' may be wishful thinking gobbolino. If this was the case the police would be shouting about it but its not even mentioned in the report.

More like racist police act on vindictive report.

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harticus · 23/10/2013 21:42

There was another Roma child too - a 2 year old boy who was removed from his parents in Athlone for 2 days.

It is a witch-hunt of Roma people.

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kangarooshoes · 23/10/2013 21:42

Hospital records are very fallible.

I am terrified by this. It smacks of "rescuing pretty blonde kids from those darkies".

It is racism, and particularly nasty racism. I thought this was awful before the DNA test result.

If the child was well cared for, they should have awaited the DNA result. Disgusting.

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rhetorician · 23/10/2013 21:44

Agree with jack absolute bullshit from the gardai. In this part of Dublin 9 times out of 10 when a motorist is pulled over they turn out to be (in that wonderfully evasive term) a non national. At least that's what I've observed.

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JackNoneReacher · 23/10/2013 21:45

I agree with friday the police are stupid. To believe that it is acceptable to remove a child from their family because they don't look like their siblings. wtf?

There was no other issue here - such as a suggestion that the child wasn't being cared for properly - or she wouldn't have been returned.

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friday16 · 23/10/2013 21:46

I admit that the media stories may not be completely accurate, but as I read it, they gave false information and refused to give DNA samples.

Do you think that the police should be able to demand that people prove that they are the parents of their child, just by saying so?

And (whisper it), a lot of children are not the genetic offspring of their parents. That fact may be unknown to the parties involved, too. Are we going to see a general programme of going around demanding DNA samples from parents who children look a bit different, or will this just be the Roma? Oh yes, it's just the Roma.

Fortunately, no other group in Ireland has a nasty habit of taking children and selling them for adoption oh yes, apart from the massively large church in every town.

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givemeaboost · 23/10/2013 21:56

It doesn't look good, but I prefer them taking the child first and asking questions later- its a pity English SS don't do the same, plenty of kids are "surviving" in abusive homes whilst the "professionals" dither about what to do, if anything.

If they had waited, or dna tested whilst leaving the child there, there's a strong possibility that the family would've disappeared, then they would've got flak for that, I think they acted responsibly and in the best interests of the child.
The main thing is the child has been promptly returned since the dna test.

And to the poster above saying a day in care will scar the individual for life(?!) Halloween Biscuit give over

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TeWiSavesTheDay · 23/10/2013 22:03

Seriously? Of course it's traumatic. Imagine being seven (or two, like the little boy) and being forcibly removed from your family, and not knowing if you will be able to go back.

There's a reason it's not generally and shouldn't be done casually.

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friday16 · 23/10/2013 22:08

I prefer them taking the child first and asking questions later

Yeah, that worked well on Orkney.

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JackNoneReacher · 23/10/2013 22:12

I'm totally in favour of removing children from abusive homes.

But not on the basis of not looking like their siblings/parents.

I presume the people who are happy for this to take place would be happy for their own children to be removed for a couple of nights to be on the safe side, perhaps on the basis of having different coloured eyes/hair?

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harticus · 23/10/2013 22:16

The main thing is the child has been promptly returned since the dna test

Er no.
The main thing is that there seems to be some systematic targeting of the Roma community based on some hysterical premise and this is what is known as racism.

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archieplacid · 23/10/2013 22:16

May I wade in with Cleveland too for that matter. It is racist and reflects the belief of a few members of my own Irish family. One in particular who looked forward to the day these poor children, begging on the street (not true) were returned to their rightful families. And the country flooded with them, claiming benefits...shocingI took a moment to remind her that this sort of prejudice led to many many ROmas being murdered in Auschwitz.

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archieplacid · 23/10/2013 22:17

By the by my youngest daughter has red hairei and brown eyes. I have neither. When my eldest was born (her father is Spanish) my Irish extended family wanted to know if the baby was black....seriously

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MrsDeVere · 23/10/2013 22:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BrianTheMole · 23/10/2013 22:22

It is a witch hunt. Its not bloody on. Imagine some one coming to your house and taking your child because they don't look like you. That poor kid, utterly terrifying.

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Jossysgiants · 23/10/2013 22:23

It is truly chilling. Those poor children. I think about my 6 year old - I cannot imagine the impact of being removed from her home for two days for not looking like her parents. It makes me feel quite sick. I find it troubling that this type of action is justified by the 'on the safe side' argument. This is how freedom is dismantled bit by bit.

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MrsTerryPratchett · 23/10/2013 22:23

On the documentation... I have a different last name and nationality to my DD and have traveled with her internationally extensively (she has been on about 20 flights). I am almost never asked to prove anything. She looks NOTHING like her passport picture. I have had no issues.

Anyone care to guess my hair and skin colour? Yep, blonde and white. I waltz through immigration. If I was Roma, do you think I would? I don't.

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archieplacid · 23/10/2013 22:25

May I also point out there was no signs of neglect or abuse. A neighbor rang the authorities with a spurious opinion that a kid was unlike its siblings.
If it also needs pointing out, the Irish have not been particularly sympathetic to the Travelling community that already exists in their country. I witnessed a mob of people (all present at mass the following SUnday mor yah) heading out to a traveler encampment to move them on. This included children and the entire event occurred in the middle of the night. Women, children and old people forced onto the road by nice people who felt they had a god given right to do so, no qualms.

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JackNoneReacher · 23/10/2013 22:26

I wonder if the same is true in Ireland MrsDV but the police decided to take the children anyway.

Hard to believe you can lawfully remove children on this premise.

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DevonLodger · 23/10/2013 22:27

Interesting comments and reassuring that generally people think I'm not BU. No legitimate parent about whom no other concerns have been raised should be required to produce evidence that a child is theirs based on lack of resemblance alone. My lovely white friends in London who have adopted 2 Chinese girls have never had been visited by the police. Funny that.

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