To expect my two teenage DC to put their school uniform in the wash?

[showmethemoneyhoney]

Just lost it with the DC. Did three massive loads of washing yesterday and asked the DC to make sure all the school clothes were in the pile to go in the wash. Washing basket was emptied. DS goes upstairs and asks where his school clothes are for tomorrow. I assumed they were in the pile of clean stuff I put on their beds earlier. They weren't. Thought I was going barmy as I knew I'd done all the washing and having already asked them to put the stuff out I wrongly thought they'd actually done it. After ranting for ten minutes and ripping the airing cupboard apart looking for lost clothes, I look in the previously empty laundry basket and lo and behold the bloody stuff is in there dirty. They have other uniform so I'm not worried that they'll have nothing to wear tomorrow, I'm just really pissed off that they cannot do a basic task like put the stuff out when asked. I think I'm more mad than usual because they are exceptionally lazy around the house and this was just the icing on the cake. I feel guilty because I was screaming at them and in the whole grand scheme of things, it really isn't a big deal. Any tips on how to get the little buggers to help a bit more? They are 14 and 15, so well able to help themselves.

I don't make them do their own laundry. I do it. The last time I did try it I ended up with a blocked machine because they didn't check pockets. Also, they simply would never get a proper load together. It would be all dribs and drabs and I simply don't want that as it isn't economical. It hasn't stopped my eldest, who has just gone to uni, from being able to do her own. She does.

I do expect them to have it there waiting though.

I made my 8yr old do her own laundry last weekend for this exact reason.

Saying that though my 18yr old nephew came to stay for a while over the summer and he didn't know how to use the washing machine.

mine are 5, 8 and 10
after swimming they have to empty their bags next to washing machine, before they can do anything else

when they come in from school, they have to empty pack lunch boxes and put stuff by dishwasher

On friday they have to put uniform in the wash. I do double check that I have 3 sweatshirts, and right number of trousers/skirts when I put the washing on, but they are usually there.

I will often ask one of them to go and get a load of washing, made much easier because we have three skinny baskets next to each other, and the dirty washing is sorted (whites, colours and darks) So it is easy to bring a load downstairs and 10 year old and 8 year old know how to do washing powder and turn it on.

When I wash 13 (with 2 older brothers) my Mum put a big notice in the laundry basket OI! BEFORE YOU PUT ANY MORE IN THE BASKET, PUT A LOAD IN THE MACHINE

Doesn't that mean a whole bunch of half loads going on all the time?

Not in our house. DD1 (16) is expected to collect up any other appropriately coloured washing to make up a load if she's putting a wash on. It is her responsibility to ensure she has clean clothes for the morning before she goes to bed.

She, DH and I always put washes on with whatever's in the basket included but, if you want something in particular ready for a certain time it's your job to make it happen in our house.

Both my girls have AS and need lots and lots of practise to get jobs like these sorted. When they are ready to go off to uni or wherever, the last thing I want is for them to be stressed out learning a whole new lot of skills that they could learn now.

DD2 is 10 and hasn't learned to do washing yet but she will soon will. She does ironing for money sometimes and putting washing away, pairing socks, etc.

Id either came and asked me where their clean uniform was they'd get short shrift.

This is DS2's job . Everyone has until 5pm to get their uniform off and by the smaller machine daily . The wash goes on at 5 , finishes at 6pm , and he then hangs it on the fire guard by the wood burner to dry overnight ready for DS 1 to iron in the morning . With 5 of them , it's almost a full load , if not , he'll top it up with something from the dirty washing . Works for us ! DS2 is 15 , so he should be more than capable . I do the white shirts ,purely because they go in with my work ones , and I have a fear of the dreaded black sock turning everything grey .....

Quite ravenlocks. I've never understood this business of all members of a family doing their washing separately.

If we did this, DS3 would never have a full load of 'whites' as all he has are his school polo shirts.

By all means teach your DC how to use a machine, but do the whole family wash together.

Probably OP, you need to be organised and train them, slowly, over several years ... even then its hard.

but its never too late. their brains are growing all the time .

Like Plomimo, I am developing a strategy now with DS (10).

1. Comes in from school.
2. Take off school clothes. Decide whats clean/dirty and either hang up or put in the wash.
3. Wash hands (and more recently neck, wrists).
4. Change into casual stuff.
5. Get school stuff ready for morning

If I keep to this, hopefully will sink in.

I only wash clothes that are in the wash basket...end of!

TBH I used to be totally anal about the washing, cleaning the house, doing the ironing etc, used to get myself in a right state.

I work full time shifts
Husband works full time shifts

So the rule is if it isn't in the basket, it doesn't get washed
They iron their own clothes and hoover and tidy their own bedrooms
No food upstairs EVER, it gets eaten in the kitchen

One fills the dishwasher (in the morning)
One empties the dishwasher (in the evening)
One feeds all the animals
One takes the dogs for a walk every day, before 10am or after college

And I can actually enjoy my time off, instead of rushing round like a blue ass fly, while they do jack shit!

Oh and they are 15 and 17, and yes that includes the DH

Nothing like teaching independence from an early age. My 11 & 13yr old boys never leave washing on floor, well trained. Excellent cup of tea makers, washer uppers, hang washing outers, empty bin boys, toast makers, cake makers, hooverers, dusters, shoe polishers etc... The thing is they both enjoy it, don't really moan & appreciate working as part of a team. All good skills for work later in life. Rewards also given in form of pocket money based on how many chores done. Happy full time working Mum & Dad in house!! :-)

Shrug.

If it isn't in the washing basket it doesn't get washed.

Stuff gets washed to the schedule that is convenient for me.

Not my problem if they don't have clean uniform/undies.

Same rule here - if it's not in the washing basket it doesn't get done. I may sometimes give a five minute warning on friday when I put a dark load on for the uniforms, but not always. The older 2 (14 and 12) are now managing to put socks/underwear in the wash daily/every other day, but other clothes tend to stay scrunched up on the floor.

I don't do their ironing either, as I am fed up of handing over a neat pile of ironed clothes to see it tipped on the floor, or all squashed together in one drawer!

Teach them how to do it and make sure they take turns. You are the adult here no?

Fabreze is their friend in these circumstances.

Show them the bottle and the iron and let them deal with smelly uniform on school mornings!

I defo need to get tougher! From now onwards if it isn't in the wash by Saturday morning at the latest, it ain't getting washed! Will also give them a few elementary lessons in washing machine use, might make the Saturday load DD's job to do. I'm sure that won't go down terribly well, but like everyone has said, they do need to learn and I can't be hand holding forever.

DD1 is 14
She does family laundry - puts a load on when she comes home from school. We have a rota e.g. darks twice a week, whites once a week, a couple of coloured loads, two loads for towels and bedding.

DD2 is 10.
She has to put her dirty clothes in a basket, and bring the basket downstairs twice a week. She can also run the machine although I do check the temperature first for her.

I do double check at the weekend that I have all their school trousers/ skirts for a darks wash, and always do school shirts and DH's shirts on a Saturday, but if I discovered they hadn't put them for washing, they'd be doing a full load to rectify the problem. I've made it easy for them with laundry baskets and bags (for socks, bras etc) and they have to do their bit as well.

My DD is 4 and can manage this simple task all by herself. I don't even need to remind her.
When DS is home, he can do his own washing, or put it in his laundry basket. At school, if he doesn't put it out, it doesn't get done.

What are they doing with dirty washing if not putting it straight into a laundry basket when they take it off ?

Agree it's not your problem, so don't waste your energy yelling at them.

Firstly, they're teens. Expecting them to give a shit about laundry when they've got so many more exciting discoveries to make (girls, boys, music, films, their mates) will only drive you mad, not them.

Secondly, surely they've got enough on their plates? Why don't you try and shoehorn in learning a language, falling jn love, hours of sport, spot squeezing, whatever, into your own packed week?

Thirdly, what is this MN obsession with making children domestics? Surely it's part of the Having Children Deal that we look after THEM.

Like married, I love cooking and doing the things that make their lives easier. My DH feels the same and does laundry and tidying too; my feminist credentials are safe.

By all means they should know how to look after themselves but surely not sole daily responsible for all the family laundry/washing etc.

Little Victorian drudges!