To not understand why some people want to get into contact with long lost distant relatives or research long dead decendants?

[misspontypine]

I am watching some Sunday evening crap tv. The program is about people from the USA coming to Sweden and learning more about their Swedish roots. Most of the people on the show have one Swedish great grandparent or grandparent (a couple only have a Swedish great great grandparent) so they are 1/16 1/8 or 1/4 Swedish.

They research their Swedish decendent and find people who also have the same decendent and meet up with lots of tears and hugs (the Swedish long lost relative often looks pretty shocked and confused about the outpooring of emotions from someone they don't know and only share a great great grandparent with.)

I have an aunt who spends her spare time researching our family tree but ironically I have only ever met this aunt once, I am her living breathing neice and she is more interested in finding out which church her great great grandparents were married in.

I have adopted siblings and my opinion is that labels (grandma, sister, uncle) don't actually mean anything it is the time you spend together and the love you give each other that is important.

AIBU to think it is odd that some people think that a tiny amount of shared DNA with another person (living or dead) means that that person is worth researching and possible traveling far to meet?

[buttermellow]

Just I've been doing that this weekend, it was quite amazing as we live next to Castle ruins. Took me a while but I somehow managed to access the census records for the parish. It's fascinating to be honest to see who lived in what looks like a pile of rubble to me! They had cooks, coachmen, a "groom", servants, all sorts..

I also managed to access an older map that labels every single hill or farm/croft in the area so can match them to the records and work out where people lived. Really interesting. Sadly our house was built in the 70s, and we've met most of the prior occupants, so no real history there, but Dfriend's farmhouse (about 200 years old) was amazing to research, huge families with multitudes of staff!

[saintlyjimjams]

Oh that sounds interesting butter.

Our house is about 100 years old, and we had some previous occupants (from the 40's and 50's) come in to have a look around. They told us loads (that we didn't know) and sent some photos from their time here. It was really interesting. We have the original hand written deeds and they were able to explain a few things that had confused me (such as why the house was owned by a brewery :) )

[harticus]

I love social history and rooting around in archives is a passion. Researching our family history is just incredibly enjoyable - a constantly unfurling detective story.
I started the process after my grandfather died suddenly.
It helped us all to see our place in the grand order of things.

[Milkjug]

I think Americans in particular often identify strongly with the origins of their families, even when it's a distant connection. I have to say (as an Irish person) that I do find being told 'Hey, I'm Irish too!' annoying, especially when it turns out that it's a single great great great grandparent who emigrated in the 1840s.

[perplexedpirate]

I don't get this either. Can't think of anything more boring.
DH's aunt is well into this and decided to do my family history.
I thought it was weird and invasive.

[justmyview]

This reminds me, a few years ago, my Mum and I drove through a village where her great aunts had lived in the 1950's. She knocked on the door of one of the houses, turned out it was the correct one and (bizarrely) they had a copy of our family tree in the hall. We're not royal, famous etc, so we couldn't really understand why they'd want it, but it made us feel a bit special anyway!

[GertrudeTheDog]

Many adopted people do have a need to trace their families and I think that shouldn't be disparaged. It has no bearing on whether they are "bonded" with their adopted families or not. It's just about wanting to know where you come from - filling in gaps. Frequently that tracing and meeting can be a positive experience for both sides and can set old worries/anxieties to rest.

[justmyview]

perplexedpirate - Your DH's aunt would probably be mortified if she thought you were upset about it. She probably assumed (perhaps incorrectly) that you might have some interest, however limited. It's all public records anyway, so it's not like she was snooping around. Unless she stumbled on embarrassing stories and shared them, I'd be inclined to give her the benefit of the doubt

[AliaTheEvilLeaper]

What RevelsRoulette said. Some people are just really interested in that kind of thing. I researched up until the free trial on the genealogy website ended, and then I stopped. If I had any spare cash I would have kept going until the good stuff emerged.
It's fascinating to know where you come from, and who you were related to. What they did for a living, who they were and where they lived etc.

[pianodoodle]

A member of my family made a tree it was quite interesting.

Not interesting enough for me to have ever bothered researching it all and doing it myself mind - but I'm happy to have a look if someone else can be arsed :)

[Jan49]

I've done some family history research, mostly the easy way via the internet. I've found I'm only really interested in going back as far as my great grandparents. Finding a family with 2 children who were 8 generations back doesn't seem interesting at all. I knew just a little about my ggps from my gps and it's nice to add to that.

But my research has given me information about my parents and grandparents that I didn't have. They are all dead and I assumed that anything I hadn't been told or had forgotten would be lost, but my research has shown the link between me and a living relative that I always thought was just a family friend, proved my granddad's involvement in WW1, things like that which are interesting. I like looking up a house on google streetview that one of my grandparents was born in and finding my grandparents as children on a census form. But I wouldn't want to meet someone just because they had a small genetic link to me.

[buttermellow]

I just found it baffling that for example, my Gran had a photo of her grandmother on the wall. A right stern looking lady with a huge black skirt and white apron over it. As a child, when I asked about her background, Gran shrugged and said she hadn't a clue. Any siblings? No idea. She died in an asylum -why? No idea, says Gran.

'But Gran, she's your Gran!! Why don't you know?!'

Turns out after much research that the lady was adopted at birth after her mum died after childbirth due to 'bride's disease'. Her twin sister was adopted too, to a different family. They were born in Ireland and adopted by Scottish families. She grew up in a shelter for homeless boys that her parents ran, and she married in 1910,in the same church that she and all her children bar one were buried in. She died of heart failure at 4am one day.

So she's now not just 'gt granny's mum', she's Annie, with a history and a life story that was worth learning about.

Unfortunately I suffer from the affliction of not being able to leave it alone and every person I add, I want to know everything I can. It is addictive but it just amazes me sometimes. When you look at it and you think that all your ancestors were fortunate enough to eventually produce you..

I think it does confuse some people though. Rapecially as we are not a close family at all!!

[buttermellow]

Aargh - New phone and bad predictive text! Instant to say especially!!

[PortoFiendo]

I have spent ages on my family tree. Most of my maternal grandparents's family were agricultural labourers, bringing up huge families in those Cotswold cottages that are now second homes to the rich. My mind boggles as to how they survived. I find it fascinating.

[Topseyt]

You cannot possibly research long dead descendants. Descendants are next and future generations, some as yet unborn - eg. your children, grandchildren, great grandchildren.

Ancestors are the past generations, including your own parents, grandparents, great grandparents. By their very definition, it won't be long before the ancestors you are researching are the long dead ones.

I think family history can be fascinating. You can put your own family history into the context of the political and historical events of the time. Some of ours has been done, going back about 400 years or more. In more recent times I do know of involvement with the Titanic on the paternal side of my family. On the maternal side, going back still further, there was involvement in the Crimean War, the Charge of the Light Brigade and someone treated by Florence Nightingale.

Not boring at all. But daytime TV on Sunday is a totally different matter.

[SirChenjin]

Well spotted Topseyt

[northlight]

Some people enjoy the detective work. My brother spent a lot of time in hotels working away from home so researching our family tree gave him something constructive to do.

[GoldenGytha]

My dad learned that we are descendents of a Danish sailor who jumped ship in the 1800's, married a local girl in NE Scotland, and that he took her name, which is also the name of the area, so as to avoid being caught.

I love the idea of being a Viking!

[Lilka]

I love family history, it's really interesting. Researched some of mine, it's hard because my family are mostly poor workers, but I'm carrying on with determination!

But I love social history in general - I have lots of books all about the way people lived in various eras, and my family history is another great aspect of that. My ancestors aren't just any random Victorians/pick any time, they are linked to me. Their circumstances, life experiences and decisions have resulted in my very existance, which is just amazing to consider - I mean really, it is. One decision they made could be the one that lead them to meet their future spouse, otherwise I wouldn't exist, etc etc. The lives and story and relationships of the people who are indirectly responsible for my life, are just fascinating to me

It applies right now too. Also, it applies just as much in adoption as in genetics, that doesn't make a difference for me. All my children are adopted. My second grandchild is 2 months tomorrow. If i hadn't made certain decisions (influenced by all the social stuff going on), I wouldnt have adopted my DD1, if I hadn't adopted her, then my grandchildren wouldn't exist - their mother wouldn't have met their father. Our existances are all linked to each others, whether we are genetically related or not. I am equally as responsible for the existance of my grandchildren as their mothers birth mother is. I have no way of knowing whether my family trees reflect the biological reality because there were no DNA tests back then - but it doesn't matter to me. It's just as interesting and we are just as connected IMHO!

Now, I wouldn't be interested in meeting distant living relatives. I'm interested in the past, and how people in the past lived. But if others are happy to do that, fine.

[mayorquimby]

Different strokes and all that.
I'm adopted and was utterly baffled at my biological patents trying to get in touch as I simply had no interest as I just don't see the point.
But others really buy into lineage and family history etc.
Each to their own

[SconeRhymesWithGone]

One reason that many Americans are interested in ancestry is that our history as a nation is relatively short. To go back farther, we must explore other countries and cultures, which are instinsically interesting to most people doing this kind of research.

And part of being American is to be a "hyphenated or double-barrelled American," and for most of us the country of origin comes first. We are Irish-Americans, Scottish-Americans, Anglo-Americans, African Americans, Italian Americans, etc. That is why an American might say "I'm Irish;" they are just shortening their ethnic identity to the first label.

[lljkk]

I don't understand how people can't be fascinated by family history.
DH is like OP. But then he's generally a miserable sod.

[SatinSandals]

Why do you have to understand it?
We are all different. I find it all fascinating, both the research and meeting distant cousins. I don't expect everyone to feel the same.
I don't understand why people like football, fishing, getting tattoos,playing Bingo etc etc but there is no reason why I have to 'get' it.

[throckenholt]

Dare I say I find me long dead ancestors far more interesting than many of my living relatives ?

I think the fascination is in how different their lives were from mine, and pondering on how they coped (and thinking I wouldn't have coped very well). Makes me appreciate how lucky I am to live now.

I wish I could time travel and go back and see what it was really like.