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AIBU?

To ask how you feed your family & love a healthy lifestyle?

52 replies

lizardqueenie · 11/10/2013 07:03

I've cautiously decided to put this post here as I couldn't quite work out what other subject it episode accurately fit under- my question is about feeding my family healthy food & making healthy choices when I'm overweight myself & eat unhealthy foods.

The good news if any is I realise this has to stop. My DH had part of his pancreas & his spleen removed recently due to suspected pancreatic cancer but by some miracle it turned out to be benign. He has shed 5st just by cutting out crap & making better choices but he did become a bit obsessive at one point . Our DD is nearly 3 & I see that she is given lots of sweet treats like biscuits, cakes, brioche my DH & my family. I feel that if I was stricter about my own diet & about what we do & do not eat as a family this would make these things a treat rather than the norm. I was always overweight as a child & DD is 98 percentile for both height & weight last check so just in proportion I guess but I worry the sweet stuff has made her out on a bit of extra weight recently as she has a bit of a tummy.

I hope I don't sound passive in this, I know how horrible as well as unhealthy it is to be overweight as a child & I really don't want that for a range of reasons for my DD- and I dont want to carry on being overweight myself. I've tried very diet but not a lot lend themselves to making good choices for your family as a whole if that makes sense & I think with DD it's more about creating & encouraging good habits than a diet.

So what can I do for us as a family that is sustainable & will help us all to live a much healthier lifestyle?

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Youarejustwordsonascreenpeople · 12/10/2013 17:39

this is the Facebook group I mentioned earlier

You've had some fabulous advice on this thread and I wish you all the luck in the world achieving your goals.

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Retroformica · 12/10/2013 08:47

Totally versed away from processed foods. Also avoided naff white flour items (pasta, cake, pizza).

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Retroformica · 12/10/2013 08:45

We made huge changes about a year ago.

Stopped having treats in the house. Had a designated treat day one a week.

Ordered a weekly organic veg and salad box (able + co). Makes us eat loads more seasonal toxin free veg. Also means we are more experimental with our food and use interesting recipes. Kids love their meals.

Homemake all meals. Fast food can be fish.

Have three or four vegetarian days a week when you use pulses and beans (chickpeas etc).

Excersise. Karate and cycling are my kids favourites.

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bubalou · 12/10/2013 08:25

Hi Op. The ladies on here are offering some great advice. Me and my husband both work and we are so busy that I batch cook on a Sunday.

I cook new potatoes, whole meal pasta, chicken breasts, sweet potatoes, a big gammon joint a quorn bolognese etc. there are some great cheap spices like 'season all' which tastes great on chicken to stop it being bland.

All we then have to do is cook veg and reheat during the week. The above will make us 5 meals with a few extras 1- bolognese 2 - chicken with new potatoes & veg 3 - gammon, sweet potatoes & veg 4 - chicken salad & new potatoes or pasta 5 - there is usually loads left over to make something or we have a fresh soup and bread night. Yum.

Hope this helps.

It really is easy once you try - having all this stuff in lunch boxes in the fridge really is the only way - it's too tempting to get something unhealthy otherwise.

Good luck Wink

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ILoveMakeUp · 12/10/2013 06:29

Here is an example of a healthy meal: Burgers & Fries.

Homemade Kidney Bean Burgers and Skinny Carrot Fries

Delicious, healthy and child-friendly!

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MrsMook · 12/10/2013 06:24

Smaller plates help with portion size.

DS is 2 and we walk a lot locally. I know he's much younger, but we do things like hunting for shapes as we walk which make it fun. I avoid driving short distances.

Slow cooker is great, especially for warming hearty winter food.

Don't go down the junk aisles of the supermarket. If you can't avoid, fast track through without looking. Make sure you're not hungry when you shop.

What do you drink? I struggle with artificial sweetners so avoid them (they can trick your metabolism/ appetite by messing up the signals of sweet taste/calorie intake). I drink very, very weak squash. Diluting fruit juice down is also good. As I'm trying to lose baby weight, when I'm out, where I can I swap coke for fruit tea and am drinking it more at home to cut the sugar.

Check labels. Different brands of the same product can vary significantly for things like sugar and fat content. You're better with the natural form of the product than reduced fat/ sweetened. E.g. Low fat yoghurt is more watery, less filling and contains more sugar than a standard yoghurt that will fill for longer.

We don't have much of a snack/ pudding culture in this house anyway, but it was taken out of my control by DS being allergic/ intolerant to milk, eggs and soya which means a lot of processed food is out, and eliminates most sweet and empty snacks. He's never been able to try chocolate. I often feel like a right killjoy having to decline x, y and z and check labels, but his life is no less fun through a lack of refined sugar.

If your family try to guilt trip on you, place it back by reminding them of the long term benefit of saying "no", that DD will have more fun being fit, that she'll be at lower risk of diabetes/ heart disease etc, that she can enjoy buying trendy mainstream clothes...

When we need to pay attention to our weight/ health, we tweak a few things around (like the coke- fruit tea swap) and it makes a subtle, easy but useful difference. It's sustainable because we don't feel deprived.

Sometimes I have to focus on the long term result. I gain a lot in pregnancy, and become very immobile (SPD), and I would hate for that to be my long term future. Being able to be active with my DCs and hopefully their DCs is a powerful motivator.

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Youarejustwordsonascreenpeople · 12/10/2013 05:42

Use your slow cooker. It is your friend. Join the Facebook page slow cooked wonders. It is a wonderful resource and there is a really good bunch of people on there ready to help.

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puntasticusername · 11/10/2013 23:02

Oh yeah, I know AK is not controversy-free - and some of her ready-made products are WELL dodgy eg the biscuits that do that crappy thing of listing all the eight different kinds of sugar separately in order to cunningly conceal that it is, in fact, just an utter shitload of sugar - but I do like her recipes, and obviously with whatever you make at home, you've got total control of what goes into it.

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FusilliJerry · 11/10/2013 22:58

Put some music on at home and dance with her - my two love it when we dance together. If you have a wii you could try the just dance ones - they love to try and copy them with me.

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puntasticusername · 11/10/2013 21:48

Oh and Google Annabel Karmel mini banana muffins - a good recipe that you can make with kids, not too unhealthy considering, uses up overripe bananas, they freeze...overall, they are made of win.

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puntasticusername · 11/10/2013 21:46

Good luck op, sounds as if you're well on the way to making the changes you want to make. It all sounds very positive.

Not much to add to the good tips already given, except:

  • you can sneak any amount of any kind of veg into pasta sauce. Puree it and keep an overall preponderance of tomato, a good grating of cheese on top and the kids will never even know it's there.


  • roasted veg are also good, because roasting brings out the sweetness, which kids tend to like. And they are a piece of...er, I mean, dead easy to cook Grin Stuff like carrot, parsnip, sweet potato, peppers all work really well. I always use olive oil for roasting as it tastes nicest and it's a "good fat", right? (RIGHT?!).


  • a while ago I spent some time cooking, pureeing and freezing carrot and swede in cubes. I can then just chuck a cube into a pan of beans as it is heating and whey-hey, two extra veg in the meal. Doesn't change taste, colour or texture enough to bother anyone. And as others have said, beans on toast is a pretty good meal to start with anyway.


  • you definitely need proper support from your family. It's hard to change eating habits and they won't do so themselves unless they somehow find a vast amount of inner motivation from somewhere. But they can do more to support you in what you're doing. They also need to be comfortable saying no re a 2nd/3rd/4th cake without fearing that your daughter is going to dislike them for it. All this "what can I do if Mummy says no?" stuff has to stop, that's failing to take proper responsibility and pushing it unfairly back on to you. And she will know damn well that in order to get the cake, all she likely has to do is ask while your back is turned.


The narrative in our house is that sweet things are very nice and all, but they are not proper food that will make us grow up big and strong. So we eat them sometimes for fun, and that's fine, but we have to make sure our tummies have enough proper food in first. Mind you, ds is only two so I can still get away with presenting him with a nectarine for pudding as the most amazing treat EVER. If he's really lucky he might get some grapes on the side Smile
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LentilAsAnything · 11/10/2013 21:44

Sounds perfect! Do it! :)

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TheAngryCheeseCracker · 11/10/2013 21:19

If my 8 and 10 yr old are hungry after school I often give them a sandwich after school ( ham, cheese or jam), and some juice or milk. Better than so called "snacks" imo.

I am a firm believer in real food rather than unsatisfying "snacks". They still eat dinner as normal at 6.

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lizardqueenie · 11/10/2013 21:13

Thanks Lentil, a similar age then.

Thats true. She does go to nursery 2 days a week but we could fit a gym/ dancing class in one day a week and they are both things she has said she would like to do

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LentilAsAnything · 11/10/2013 21:11

lizard, my DS just turned three. I do think he does way more classes than average, but he is happy and likes the variety. He doesn't go to nursery so we have plenty of time. You could always try a couple of new classes and drop any she doesn't like. I have dropped one that my son didn't like, easily done.

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alarkthatcouldpray · 11/10/2013 20:51

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BornToFolk · 11/10/2013 20:51

Giving a portion to your mum for your DD is a great idea!

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alarkthatcouldpray · 11/10/2013 20:38

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alarkthatcouldpray · 11/10/2013 20:34

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lizardqueenie · 11/10/2013 20:34

First of all thank you thank you for all of your ideas and support Thanks

I just feel so chuffed that you have all got what I am saying, I felt a bit alone on this and would find it hard to admit to RL friends who then might think WTF are you feeding your daughter.

I agree beans on toast isnt bad, and we do have wholemeal bread but its just that that kind of meal is a bit too frequent and i know I need to make sure that DD is getting a good variety of things too.

Alark I think you have hit the nail on the head with better meals/ less snacks. Dd has a good appetite and I feel guilty that if i was just a bit more organised I could be giving her something much better which would seem new and interesting and we wouldn't need to resort to the old stuff or the snacks. Thanks for suggestions to those of you who have said get on with the batch cooking this weekend- DH is acutally away so perfect time for me to do 1 or 2 meals for the freezer during DD's nap time. Especially things that you can bung in the oven for a couple of hours and forget about. And I have a slow cooker ive used once or twice that I could dust off. I shall go to the supermarket tomorrow and get all of our ingredients. Also hoping to make some little pumpkin spice mini muffins - a treaty type snack but at least not shop bought.

Thanks for the ideas of activities too trucksanddinosaurs DD will particularly like the balloon one, especially on a day like today where its not stopped raining.

Lentil thanks for your advice too- how old is your DS? I was wondering aobut whether DD would enjoy dancing/ gymnastics type thing but given her age and that we already do tumble tots and swimming i wsnt sure if it would be too much iyswim?

Borntofolk I think the frequency that my DD sees my parents is the problem - they live literally around the corner and my mum kindly has my DD one day a week whilst I work. But her tea making skills are must be where i get mine from. She manages pasta with some grated cheese on top but there's not much in the way of veg. and whereas I would say if DD didnt eat her dinner she couldn't have pudding instead of it if that makes sense (which in our house is fruit or yoghurt anyway) my mum will kind of try to ply dd with other stuff. So now, when she goes there, the dont really give her a chance to try what she is eating, say a roast dinner, before they are looking to offer her something else. Then if she has already had a biscuit and sometimes a cake from the bakers, unbelievably they are asking me later if she can have an ice cream!!!

One idea that has just popped into my head is that if i do batch cook i will be able to give my mum a meal for my dd to eat :D

OP posts:
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WhatsHisChops · 11/10/2013 20:25

Soreen malt loaf and butter? Oatcakes and peanut butter/philly?

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LordElpuss · 11/10/2013 20:11

I promise I will read all the above posts later but can I hijack with a question?

DD (9) gets in from school and she wants a snack (doesn't want evening meal til 5 or 6ish). What can I give her and please don't say fruit or carrot sticks Grin?

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BornToFolk · 11/10/2013 20:03

I definitely think you've made the right decision to make changes as a family, it's going to be good for you all.

One thing I batch cook a lot is the Moroccan Vegetable Tagine recipe from MN. The recipe makes loads (at least 4 portions each for me and DS 5) and it freezes very well. It takes a bit of time to prepare as there are lots of vegetables to peel but once it's done you've got several meals stashed away. And I serve it with cous cous which takes about 5 mins to cook so it's excellent for nights when we don't have a lot of time - I can have a healthy dinner on the table in less than 10 mins. DS loves it too as it's got raisins and dried apricots in so it has a nice, sweet flavour.

How often does she get treats from your family and in-laws? DS often comes home from his Grandma's saying he had 5 biscuits (Hmm) but as he only sees them once or twice a month it's not the end of the world as he's eating healthily the rest of the time.

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Itsmybluminbirthday · 11/10/2013 19:40

Cheap, easy, healthy meals:

Cauliflour cheese. Make the cheese sauce yourself. Edam is good and lower fat. A few shreds of bacon (unsmoked back bacon) will jazz it up.

Rice and lentils, lightly spiced. Serve with natural yogurt.

Roast chicken dinner. Boiled new pots, veg, home made gravy.

Chicken noodles (made with meat pulled of chicken) make your own sauce, low sodium soy sauce, nutmeg, garlic ginger, small dash of sesame oil to finish.

Chicken soup, boil carcass with veg. Carrots, swedes, leeks work very well. Leave chunky or blend half and add back to the pan for more 'depth'.

Chicken or egg florentine. Make cheese sauce with nutmeg. Wilt some spinach. Spread spinach around a lasagne dish. Add cheese sauce and stir round. Make wells in the mixture (one well per person). Either break in an egg (carefully, yoke should be intact) or drop in a chicken breast. Bake in a medium oven.

Stew: cheapest diced beef. Fry, put in heated slow cooker. Do the same with onions, carrots, leeks or any root veg, inc potatos. Add stock and herbs to taste. Leave in slow cooker for 4 hours at least.

Banana kebabs: Slice bananas and malt loaf. Rub with honey and small amount of low fat spread. Grill. Serve with low fat creme freich.

Get your DD involved in cooking as much as possible.

Hope some of these help! Not really batch cooking, but all easy and affordable.

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