To ignore the Big Issue seller

[Beeyump]

There is a guy that sells the Big Issue right outside the station I use to get to and from work. For ages, I felt guilty walking past him - usually very quickly as I was rushing to the office - but eventually bought one. Sounds ridiculous, but he held it too high for me to reach for ages, before eventually tapping me on the head with it and giving it to me. Ho ho!

Anyway, fair enough, but since then he expects me to buy one every Tuesday, yells out at me as I go past etc. so that I feel a bit conspicuous. When I have bought one again, he's all 'Heyy Beautiful...or are you gay?' and other rather random things.
In my paranoid, twitchy head, I now dread seeing him every morning and don't want to buy any more but feel flippin guilty. Honestly, I can make life such a trial for myself. Should I just keep my headphones in and ignore?

[GreatDuckCookery6211]

What's with the influx of posters bumping old threads?

[CherryPavlova]

It’s irrelevant it’s a zombie thread. Homelessness is a growing problem.

[CherryPavlova]

I think you have a right to walk on past, head down, headphones in and ignore the sadness of homelessness. Entirely your choice.

How much nicer to stop and say “good morning, it’s a bit chillier today isn’t it?” I’m sure he doesn’t realise his comments are seen as inappropriate. He may well have quite severe mental health problems or be a recovering addict. He’s invisible to most of society so no wonder he is enthusiastic towards those that stop.

When you but a coffee, why not get him one too? It might make you feel good for the rest of the day. Ask him how he likes it and provide some of the respect the rest of society denies him. If a coffee and BI are too expensive why not make a coffee and spend the money on a paper? It’s much better for you.

For the poster saying they aren’t properly homeless as they live in shelters - you are showing your ignorance. Homelessness doesn’t necessarily mean living in a cardboard box behind Boots. It is classified as including temporary accommodation such as hostels and shelters. A family living in B&B accommodation would be described as homeless.

[bowdownbeforelokitty]

........ Zombie Thread From 2013.........

[DeanPorter]

As an ex big issue vendor i feel for you, i know this post was posted along time ago but if you do. Have issues with this vendor there are ways to put in a complaint formally at his local office and the staff will glad deal with this vendor.

[TEErickOrTEEreat]

"But you do need to understand that people who live on the streets have had the worst life chances -- they haven't been brought up in polite drawing rooms with Miss Manners."

Bullshit. Most of the world is one paycheck from homelessness. Even the ones who have been brought up in drawing rooms with Miss Manners.

Also, a lot of the BI sellers around here aren't actually homeless. They are just having trouble getting a 'regular' job, as so many are right now. BI is a way to give them a bit of income.

[Oceansurf]

Just say you've already got one!

Problem solved.

[KellyElly]

niminypiminy You're posts are some of the most fucking ridiculous things I've EVER read on MN and I've been on here for five years! Fucking nonsense.

OP, no-one has the right to make you feel intimidated or uncomfortable or act in a suggestive or inappropriate way no matter what their back story is. You need to completely block him out and ignore him.

[Beeyump]

Well,niminy hasn't really helped with my guilt complex anyway

I do realise that I'm making this into a bigger deal than it need be.

[pinkyredrose]

niminy is talking out of her arse.

Btw not all BI sellers are homeless. A lot live in hostels, shared accommodation, halfway houses etc.

[MomentForLife]

Just smile and say no thank you. His behaviour sounds awkward but don't let it affect your daily routine.

[Vivacia]

I don't want to buy a BI. I don't have to. I agree completely, so you just say, "no thank you". There's no need to try to confuse or humiliate the seller with, "I have mine delivered". When you write, "it takes them a minute to work that out" it sounds as though you think you're clever and have out-witted somebody who, let's face it, isn't in the easiest place as it is.

[TheHeadlessLadyofCannock]

'Actually niminy I feel like you are dehumanising the homeless by making out they don't have the same ability as the rest of us to be respectful and not intimidating.'

I agree.

[CeliaFate]

To follow your argument through, the richest people in the world should be the nicest. That's nonsense. I agree, being homeless and all the problems it brings may cause you to be unhappy and behave horribly to others.
But equally, it's about the character of the people selling it.
I do empathise with people worse off than me.
I do (self-righteously?!) give to charity via direct debit. Probably not enough though so I can't expect them to be decent to me.

[Beeyump]

niminy

Okayyy... I did say that I thought 'that could be me' re. addiction etc. (having had great life chances btw) I don't think the man should be making people feel uncomfortable with weird and slightly aggressive remarks, whatever his situation is.

[niminypiminy]

It's an irregular verb -- you say pitying, I say empathising.

I don't think I ever said that BI sellers shouldn't behave well. I said that we need to stand in their shoes and remember that it is easy to be nice when your life is nice.

[KatoPotato]

I remember my friend telling me she was no longer buying the Big Issue because the seller didn't remember her and that she'd already got it.

FFS how entitled?

[ubik]

I remember being in Oxford Street at about 3am and some bloke on a striped shirt and trousers, clearly hammered and probably more, walked past some poor homeless kid sat in a doorway and shouted "get a fucking job" in his face. Cunt.

[CeliaFate]

Yes, I agree Killer. You're pitying the homeless niminy and making out that they lack the social skills accorded to the rest of us.

[ubik]

op - Say hello, buy the mag if you want to but if not, just say 'no thankyou.' And walk on. It's a tiny thing, not worth worrying about.

[KillerKoalaFace]

Actually niminy I feel like you are dehumanising the homeless by making out they don't have the same ability as the rest of us to be respectful and not intimidating.

I always buy the Big Issue when I can afford it and I was really friendly with one years ago that I saw every day and would buy an extra coffee for him. I was devastated when he died after an artery collapsed.

OP I agree that contacting the office is a good idea and just keep ignoring him until he leaves you alone.

[Scarifying]

Don't be embarrassed, just smile and say no thanks.
Repeat when necessary.

It really is that simple

[YouTheCat]

So? I give what I can, when I can. It is no business of yours whatsoever.

[CeliaFate]

Nobody's saying it's ok to treat homeless people as if they weren't really people. But just because they're homeless doesn't give them the right to harass people in the street, particularly when they're trying to get people to buy something from them.
They are a representative of the Big Issue charity and should conduct themselves appropriately.

[niminypiminy]

(And I always suspect when people say, self-righteously, that they give to other charities, or give food, that when you ask them how much and how often they actually give, the answer would turn out to be 'not much and not often'. Donations to charities are going down year on year, and the only group whose donations are staying stable rather than declining are the over 65's.)