Just need a few other opinions on teachers' comment to boy...

[LadyOfTheFlowers]

DS2 has long hair. About 3 inches below his collar, shorter towards front - can tuck behind his ears.
For PE it was requested he had a sweatband. I bought 2 he lost them, I forgot about it over summer.
PE has resumed and the PE teacher got mad, telling him 'If you don't have a sweatband next lesson I will cut your hair off!'
Now the boy is 7 and truly believes his mad PE teacher might chop his hair off.
It is my fault he doesn't have a sweatband. Why didn't he shout at me? I see him around school enough.
I am annoyed. DH is seething.
AIBU to want to complain? How do I address this?
Apart from get the sweatbands this weekend obviously.

[Feminine]

My boys have/had long hair. The problem is many parents don't take care of it. They just leave it, hanging there...all over the faces ...in the food blah blah...

It needs to be groomed, it needs to be safe .For PE a hair elastic is imperative!

Just like the girls have to.

[paperclipsarebetterthanstaples]

Sound like tongue in cheek to me... Can't believe people would seriously complain rather than just explaining to the child that it was banter... Fuck me, is no-one allowed a joke on anymore??

[HavantGuard]

I think it's about equality. If you allow girls to have long hair then boys should be allowed to have it too. If you allow boys to wear trousers then girls should have that option too. If hair over a certain length must be tied back, then that apples to all the children. It also makes PE safer, art cleaner and when they're older, avoids Bunsen and acid incidents.

[babybythesea]

Actually, the thing that first crossed my mind was that the child was from a religion which doesn't cut hair.
My friend's son is 6, and is Sikh. So he's never had his hair cut. It's coming up for waist length. My friend and her DH explain why, but have decided that he'll be able to make his own decision once he reaches his teens - they figure that way he'll be old enough not just to take the looks into account but also the religious aspect.

So having thought it was a religious thing, I was quite shocked when people started saying "Get it cut" as the solution. And offered "I don't like long hair on boys" as a reason. Thank goodness for a free and equal society where yes, everyone is free to express an opinion and yes, no-one is judged on appearances.....

I think if he does have long hair then you need to treat it as part of the get-dressed-for-school routine to get it sorted out properly in the mornings, and allow the extra time for putting it in a ponytail of similar. If you do that, it also doesn't rely on him remembering to find the bands at each PE lesson and get his hair sorted himself (on top of the scrimmage to get to the pegs to get the PE bag and haul out the clothes and get changed along with everyone else!).

[Noggie]

School rules often say hair to be tied back if below collar.

[Floggingmolly]

Make sure the conversation is logged with the school, Ilovemyself?
The one where op explains why she is unable to either tie her son's hair back herself (in line with school policy) or teach him to do it himself, because, in her own words she "has bigger fish to fry"?
Sounds like fun.

[Johnny5needsinput]

See, this is the bit I don't get. The dichotomy.

My son has long hair. He must be allowed to have his hair any length he likes. The school cannot discriminate on the grounds of sex and make him cut his hair.

Fair. Absolutely agree.

My son has long hair. He must be allowed to have his hair any length he likes. The school cannot discriminate on the grounds of sex and make him cut his hair. But he should not be expected to adhere to the same rules as the girls with regards to tying his hair up for PE.

Why? You can't have it both ways.

[miaowmix]

He either needs to tie his hair back or have it cut, exactly the same scenario as it would be for a girl. This is a complete non-issue. My 6 year old dd has a short petit filou type bob and still has to have it clipped out of her eyes for school. Any longer and it must be tied back. Not remotely a big deal...

[miaowmix]

And clearly the teacher didn't mean it literally...

[paperclipsarebetterthanstaples]

Good lord ilovemyself - are you serious?? You'd be demanding i was sacked in an instant... This week I've 'threatened' 3 sweary teens with washing their mouths out with soap and 1 with taping a pen to his hand if he forgot it again. Sue me now!!

[WowOoo]

What about a thin alice band?
A plain one to keep it off his face.

My nephew wears one for football. I got them from Claire's accessories.

I'd say the teacher was annoyed at the amount of trivial stuff that he has to deal with and your son happened to be one more annoying thing. I can't say I blame him, but I don't know him at all obvs!
Perhaps he just wanted to get on with PE.

You won't let your son forget again, will you?!

[Ilovemyself]

Rhonda. Form for being unprofessional and threatening towards students. I don't know and you don't know the situation. But if he is aggressive and threading to other students for other reasons as well then it needs dealing with.

[fifi669]

Parents are quick to complain about teachers when infact I think that parents and teachers should show a united front.

The teacher in this case made a throw away comment and it should be treated as such. You know he has no intention of cutting his hair so why make it into something it's not?

YABU if you want to have it out with the teacher IMO

[impecuniousmarmoset]

Suburbanrhondha Why is it that if a child has long hair they are considered to be enjoying "freedom of expression"? Maybe some parents just cba to cut it.

But that's not the case here, is it? The OP's son wants to have long hair. So that's him enjoying freedom of expression - isn't it?! What else do you call it?

And if there really are parents who cba to cut their son's hair , you honestly think a 7-year-old with long hair who really wanted short hair wouldn't find a way of doing something about it?! It isn't that hard to get access to scissors...

[impecuniousmarmoset]

oops, sorry for extra h in your username

[wonderingsoul]

my ds2 has chin lenght hair..
it suits him him. #i love it

i can also tell the differeance between a boy and girl... even if they had the same length hair... because funnly enough its not a hair style that makes you look liek the sex that you are!

cos i is clever liek that!

[Whereisegg]

If you allow your child (of either sex) to have hair long enough to put up, then it is your responsibility to put it up, or provide the child with a hair bobble/band and ensure they can do it themselves, for lessons where it will be an issue.

If you are in the uk, this can't be the first pe lesson he has had since the start of term, surely?

The teacher has probably reminded him twice weekly for a month.

If you do have better things to do than provide your son with something required by the school, then actually, getting his haircut should probably be one of those things IMO.

[Ilovemyself]

Paperclips. You sound like a right barrel of laughs. Perhaps you should attend anger management or find a less stressful job. You are worse than those you are trying ( poorly) to control and as you can't carry out the threat you will be looked at by the kids as an idle threat maker so what good does it do you?

Oh, and threatening is typical bully behaviour - that's good for a teacher isn't it!

[DameFellatioNelson]

Would they make a little girl with a bob that was too short to tie back wear a sweatband? I very much doubt it.

[Pachacuti]

Johnny5needsinput, that's not really the argument. The OP doesn't say that her DS shouldn't be subject to the same rules as the girls with long hair she says that (a) it was her fault, not his, that he didn't have the right equipment with him so he shouldn't be shouted at (and at 7 I have some sympathy with this, although it's at the top end of the scale by 9 I would expect children to be taking responsibility for their own hair and TBH at 7 they ought to be at least thinking about it) and, implicitly (b) a girl who hadn't brought a hairband wouldn't be shouted at and told that the teacher would forcibly cut her hair if she forgot the hairband one more time (which I think is probably accurate).

[Pachacuti]

"This week I've 'threatened' 3 sweary teens with washing their mouths out with soap and 1 with taping a pen to his hand if he forgot it again."

So not seven-year-olds (who can still be very, very literal), then?

[Johnny5needsinput]

Pach - I disagree.

[ll31]

Yabvu, teach him some common sense ie aability to recognise when things aren't meant literally and leave teacher alone.

And consider cutting his hair if u can't remember to tie it back when needed

[NonnoMum]

My opinion...

all little kids should have shortish hair (boys and girls). Less hassle for PE. Less chance of nits.

Too many 5 year old girls walking round with waist-length hair. Yuk.

[Ilovemyself]

Nonnomum. Are we talking stepford children here?