Son's teacher asking me to vary privacy preferences

[DustBunnyFarmer]

My son's teacher (primary) caught me outside school this morning and initiated conversation about whether I would agree to her posting a video of the whole class made during a recent topic on the school website so all the parents could enjoy it. She said there had been a few other parents who'd signed a 'no photos' clause like us that she'd had to speak to, but I was the only one left

DH and I expressed preference for no photos in school publicity/on web when both of our boys started. There was a reason for this (family issue), but also we guard our online privacy jealously. We don't facebook, twitter or photoshare and have spoken to relatives about plastering pictures of our kids all over their FB account with their full names in the past.

AIBU to think that, if a parent has clearly expressed a view on this, the school - or an isolated teacher in this case - should not be trying to renegotiate and definitely not by tring to guilt 'the last man standing'?

For info, the video would not be posted in a password protected area - it would be on the main website, open for the whole world to see.

[Tabby1963]

It is very clear. If you have signed the form saying "no" to photos etc of your child being published, then that has to be respected.

We have a list of children at our school who are not to be photographed. All staff know who they are and are very careful to leave them out of photos.

Whilst it is unfortunate that the film cannot be put on the school website, there is nothing to stop the school having a special screening for parents. Don't forget, it is only recently that we have had a choice about actually having school websites at all.

[Wabbitty]

I am surprised at how many people have said that the child should not have been involved in the filming at all. That is discrimination against the child. Yes I agree the film should not be shown or the child pixelated out but to not allow the children to join in at all..... as I said that would be discrimination.

[IneedAsockamnesty]

Asking a question when you already have the answer is pressure.

The teacher only wanted to ask the question because she knew the answer already given in advance was no and she decided that was not good enough.

[SoupDragon]

No, she asked because the original question was very black and white for simplicity. Asking for clarification over a specific example is not pressure provided the answer is accepted.

[UniS]

FWIW I think asking you was Ok. People do change their mind / change of circumstances etc.
In Year R I said no photos , I was asked again in Year 1 and had changed my mind, so the answer then was no names with photos.

[Hamwidgeandcheps]

Yanbu. I would have refused too. You don't need an excuse. Plastering anything on the net is not compulsory.

[duchessandscruffy]

I don't really understand the problem with the teacher asking as a one off, unless they were really pressuring you. We have had parents at my school who have ticked 'no' on the photos letter, but then when we have sent out individual consent forms (which we still do when it is a photo that may appear in the local press so that things are Crystal clear for the parents), the same parents give consent for that particular circumstance.

As a teacher, photography is a bloody minefield!

[teacherandguideleader]

I think it is ok to ask. If it were me I would have asked via email, as I would prefer to be asked things on a sensitive matter that way (time to formulate a response). I wouldn't ask why though, or try to pressure someone to change their mind.

Ideally, she should have sent a letter out before making the video to ask everyone (just as someone might change their mind from a no to a yes, they might go from yes to no). However, some of the best videos I have got from school / Guides are the unplanned, whip out the camera when something happened style.

[treas]

She said there had been a few other parents who'd signed a 'no photos' clause like us that she'd had to speak to, but I was the only one left

I read this as the OP was not the only person being asked but was the last one the teacher needed to speak to.

There was no mention by the teacher of the other parents positive or negative response.

That said I did not hear the tone of voice used with this statement.

[jamdonut]

A year group at our school went to an event this week which was of interest to the local newspaper,and a photographer turned up for the photo opportunities.

Cue frantic call to school office to double-check which children were allowed to be photographed!

Of course it is your right to say no pictures.Especially if there are child protection issues. But I think the teacher was not wrong to ask,there was no harm in that.

I think it is a shame that some children get left out, because most people like to see their kids in the paper,or on the school website. I have always said it is ok for my kids to be photo'd, and they are often in the local paper for one thing or another.It makes me feel proud. But I do understand that for some people it is for safety reasons.

I would agree that sometimes these videos/pictures at school capture spontaneous moments,and are worth sharing.

The issue with parents etc filming things like school plays, is that there is absolutely no control where those images will end up. At least school will make every effort to keep the pictures /film under their control. And before someone says it: yes I know the problems with the internet.

[TeenAndTween]

Yes, it is a shame that some children get left out of some things due to no photos.
There have been a few things over the years that my DDs have been unable to participate in due to this. But the potential upset that could be caused by the 'wrong' people seeing their pictures in the context of a known location is far worse than the disappointment of not being able to do the activity. So we live with it.
Our school is excellent and manages to help children not allowed in photos not be excluded. On one occasion my DD was given the role of showing VIPs around, which avoided her being near TV cameras.

[ravenAK]

I think the teacher was OK to ask - so long as she didn't make you feel uncomfortable when you said no.

Some parents don't quite think these things through. I had a lass in my tutor group some years ago who was absolutely not to be photographed, because her parents thought that a passing pervert might be able to abduct her if he knew her name from a labelled photograph & tracked her down near school.

I wouldn't normally know, or need to know, the parents' reason for refusal, but the dad rang to shout at me after one of my colleagues fucked up & allowed her to be identified in a school sporting team photo in the local paper.

I did suggest that allowing her to travel to & from school in a hoody emblazoned on the back with 'Jenny "Baby Jen" Smith' might be risky for similar reasons, but dad was having none of it.

So whilst I think you are perfectly within your rights to refuse, & the teacher has no business pestering you now you've had the conversation - if she does you can definitely complain; I don't think she WBU to make a polite approach to check that this video wouldn't be OK.

[TidyDancer]

There's no problem I can see with the teacher asking. You still feel it's a no for you. That's where it ends for me. Teacher not wrong for asking, you not wrong for saying no.

[OldRoan]

I didn't get the 'no-photo' list until a few weeks into term (although I hadn't been taking whole class photos anyway just in a case). I had, however, done some group work where each group had a set of photos of some role play which they were going to annotate.

I got the list that evening, and deleted the child's group's photos. Everyone else was then given a random picture so his group didn't feel left out. Maybe that was me overreacting, maybe I could/should have checked with his mum, but I didn't. Perhaps this teacher planned the activity before realising how many children shouldn't have been included in the film and thought since it was done anyway she could check on the off chance.

If I were her and I had known in advance, the no-photo children would have done their own group video with a TA - they can feel included, but not put on website..