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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Or is this an odd thing to do in Mcdonalds ?

82 replies

OhDearNigel · 25/09/2013 19:09

My Dd is not yet 4 so i don't know whether the following is odd or normal

Took DD today and she ran to sit with a girl who was on her own. So i sat with her, assuming that the woman standing behind the girl was her mum. It then became clear she wasn't. The girl was chatting away and as time went by i thought "she doesn't seem to be with anyone". So nudged the conversation in the direction of her school, how old she was etc. she was 7, thinking that i may end up having to do something. We had been there about 35 minutes with no sign of an adult when a suitable opportunity to ask "are you waiting to be picked up" arose.

To which she pointed at a man with a baby and said "my dad's over there". he was right over the other side of the restaurant with his back towards us, separated by a partition. He had not realised she was talking to me until she went over and he came to apologise for her bothering me. She wasn't with any friends when we went in where, just sitting sadly on her own in the middle of the restaurant.

Is it just me or is this a very odd thing to do with a 7 year old child ?

OP posts:

MrsCakesPremonition · 25/09/2013 19:29

If DD wanted to sit on one of those communal bench things, I'd let her but I probably wouldn't sit with her. But I would be keeping a close eye on her and would probably have wandered over to check you were normal say Hi when you started chatting.

So it is weird her dad wasn't aware of where she was or who she was speaking to, it is also a little weird that you didn't ask where her family were sooner.

Floggingmolly · 25/09/2013 19:31

Really, picnicbasketcase? You'd have interrogated the child as to where her parents were within seconds of meeting her? Op didn't "meet" her, she shared a communal table; and the Dad could well have been in the loo. None of op's business, really.

OutragedFromLeeds · 25/09/2013 19:33

Not knowing what your 7 year old is doing/who they're talking to/where they are for 35 minutes - perfectly good parenting.

Not taking it upon yourself to locate the parents of a strange DC in Macdonalds- you're bizarre/strange/odd.

Yep, that seems right.

Yamyoid · 25/09/2013 19:34

I agree, the dad was lax. I admit to having slight helicopter tendencies but even so, 35 minutes is a long time.
I also have a sociable ds so sitting with another child at a communal table would be totally normal to us.

NoComet · 25/09/2013 19:58

Climb anything DD1 would sit at those tables on her own when DD2 was too small to do so safely. She'd happily chat to anyone too.

However, I would look over often enough to check she wasn't being too annoying, that you'd see who she was with.

Dad with a baby not doing doesn't surprise me, remember me can't multi task. Feed baby they can cope with, feed baby and watch older child

ScariestFairyByFar · 25/09/2013 20:09

Sounds like she wanted a high seat and he didn't with the baby

lagertops · 25/09/2013 20:21

I know this has nothing to do with anything, but those stupid high seats should be banned anyway. I've seen a small child fall backwards onto his head onto the floor after mucking about on them. The low seats are also stupid as they make grown adults look like they are in a creche.

Plus why oh why would the designers think communal tables are a good idea? My school canteen days are over, I feel odd trying to have a conversation with my friends/ family while there is a stranger in the seat next to me.

LegoAcupuncture · 25/09/2013 20:26

She was 7, not 3. My children at that age liked to sit in the higher chairs by themselves while I sat nearby. Quite able to do it themselves at that age tbh.

DoJo · 25/09/2013 21:05

Would she had had to pass him were she to leave? If so, then I can imagine him not checking on her - she is old enough to go and find him if she had a problem after all. If not then that is a bit odd not to even check that she's still there, but presumably she's a fairly sensible sort and he trusts her not to bugger about when he's not looking. I don't think either of you are necessarily being unreasonable, but I can see why you might have been surprised if his parenting style was dramatically more relaxed than yours.

DoJo · 25/09/2013 21:05

By which I don't mean to imply that you aren't relaxed, just that he is moreso than you!

WorraLiberty · 25/09/2013 21:09

it was one of those high, communal bench things they have

Ahh that'll be it then no doubt.

I've lost count of the amount of times my kids have asked to sit on those and I hate them.

She probably asked if she could go sit on one and he said yes?

gordyslovesheep · 25/09/2013 21:11

what Worra said - also my girls like to sit alone - they hate me - I think they are being 'sophisticated' and playing mums to their little sister - I have to sit in the corner nursing a diet coke

Cluffyflump · 25/09/2013 21:13

The Dad could well have looked over many times and you wouldn't have noticed.

fuckwittery · 25/09/2013 21:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Jellybeanz1 · 25/09/2013 21:16

He was probably using you as free childcare.

ginmakesitallok · 25/09/2013 21:20

Dd1 (almost 4) decided that she didn't want to sit with us in a restaurant the other day as we were all stinky... She lifted her plate and went and sat at an empty table across the room. Maybe the daddy was stinky???

picnicbasketcase · 25/09/2013 21:30

Floggingmolly - no idea what gave you the impression that I would have searched for the child's parent if I was in the same situation. I would've just moved tables tbh.

WorraLiberty · 25/09/2013 21:40

He probably just didn't want to sit on a stool the height of a skyscraper, that you can't even lean back on.

I often see kids sitting on those things alone because most adults would rather not have to.

Original poster

OhDearNigel · 25/09/2013 21:46

This is why i posted on here i had no idea that 7 year olds liked to go off and sit on their own ! I was a proper mummy's girl and dd is too young to want to.

I have to say i quite enjoyed it. I like talking to children, no "side"

OP posts:

Floggingmolly · 25/09/2013 21:52

picnicbasket. I'm so sorry . I was responding to shakeRattleNroll's rather odd post which came after yours. That'll teach me to read the thread properly...

LazyGaga · 25/09/2013 21:59

I have a 7 yr old dd. I would feel uneasy if she was sat in another part of a burger place and I couldn't see her. Tbh she'd rarely be in her own as we have two other dc - if they all wanted to sit at a separate table, fair enough, but I'd be close by.

I don't think you're odd for finding it unusual OP.

Bumpotato · 25/09/2013 22:11

Who spends 35 minutes at McDogshit's?

Original poster

OhDearNigel · 25/09/2013 22:27

Hmmmm, i don't remember posting "I spent 35 minutes in maccy d's. Aibu ?"

Although, apparently, it was buried somewhere in the subtext

OP posts:

ProudAS · 26/09/2013 06:34

I used to do that on buses - wanted a bit of independance.

Idocrazythings · 26/09/2013 06:39

I think it's odd, that a parent would not know what their child was up to for 35min (at least) in a public space. Especially a young trusting one who will talk to any stranger.

I sometimes get children coming up and talking to us at parks etc., I would never ignore them either.

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