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AIBU?

To think that is someone is on holiday and updating facebook every 10 mins saying what a great time they are having, that they are really not having a great time at all!

199 replies

PartyFops · 07/09/2013 21:06

A friend of mine is on holiday and yes maybe i'm a bit jealous but she has put 15 facebook updates on today alone, and she is only one day 2.

My best holidays have been when I have not felt the need to even look at my phone or ipad!

OP posts:
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Hulababy · 11/09/2013 07:48

Yes it does show up on the acuity bar - but all they can see is that one post with its comments.

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kaosak · 10/09/2013 23:38

Aw bless you that is so kind Smile.

I still shouldn't have been so handy with the caps though!

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mignonette · 10/09/2013 22:13

Kao I can understand how traumatic being burgled was for you and that this topic in relation to burglaries might be a little triggering.

I am so sorry that something like that happened to you. Flowers

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AmpullaOfVater · 10/09/2013 21:28

Trills - if anyone 'likes' your picture/post, this activity shows up on all their friends' side bars - the thing on the right. FB has not let us disable this feature.

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kaosak · 10/09/2013 21:23

My security settings are only friends and then I customise some of them.
Maybe never tagging is the answer and then you know only a tight few people can see them. I don't do the whole 4000 friends thing either.

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Hulababy · 10/09/2013 21:15

Luckily when they did get in, the alarm went off and the ran. They didn't get the car keys or the car. Did grab keys - DH's house and work keys. Meant a pain getting all them changes (esp the 120+ work keys - eek!)

We will be far less of a target for the same type of burglar this weekend - DH's car is going and its being replaced. Different type of car and no longer on the hit list of cars in demand. Can't wait! Was only thing we weren't able to do at the time - had to wait til the lease was up.

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Trills · 10/09/2013 21:08

if you have, say 200 friends, and you shared a picture of your holiday and 10 of your friends 'liked' it, and each other those 10 friends have 200 friends, that means 600 people could see the post and know you're not home.

Only if you have your security settings set so that friends of friends can see what you've posted.

If you tag your friends to boast (label the lobster in the tank at the restaurant as them?) then all of their friends can see it though.

If you post it on their wall, their friends can see it.

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kaosak · 10/09/2013 21:02

Hear hear or is it here here I can never remember..

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TheUglyFuckling · 10/09/2013 21:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kaosak · 10/09/2013 20:54

Sorry I didn't mean to shout earlier it just bugs me this stuff sometimes.

We were burgled a few years ago at 4am when we were all in bed, it's awful - two cars on the drive and a burglar alarm box on the wall and they still broke in - alarm went off and they legged it. I would much prefer them to break in when I was out please - although of course I wouldn't wish it on anyone or for it to happen again.

We have light timer switches, a much better burglar alarm and fab neighbours but I honestly think that a burglar would only have to watch the house for a couple of days to know if you are on holiday. I wouldn't lose any sleep over FB giving away my plans.

As for on-line banking etc there is no way I wouldn't embrace that on the off chance that someone might hack my account. I check it a couple of times a day and would notice immediately if anything was wrong. It happened on a credit card of ours a couple of years ago and the bank refunded the lot as could see we had notified them immediately and that it clearly wasn't us doing the unusual spending.

Dog is the best thing for deterring would be burglars the police told us - we have duly installed a dog and may get a dog and house sitter the next time we go away for any length of time so that I can upload my holiday pics with complete peace of mind Grin!

Sorry for yelling again Blush.

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exoticfruits · 10/09/2013 18:39

The reality is that if you are not on line these days you become a second class citizen. You don't have to go on social media-that is choice- but you do need to book airlines, apply for jobs etc etc. Banks definitely want you on line-my elderly mother is always getting problems with her bank because she is not, and never will be, on line.

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mignonette · 10/09/2013 18:16

Well I think we need to take reasonable care and for me that means not publicising on an open forum (because FB is in reality) the fact that my house is going to be empty for say, two weeks.

Not going online at all- bit paranoid. Avoiding internet banking, yes i do because my friend has shown me hair raising problems w/ banking security and hacking will always outpace the systems because the system is reactive rather than proactive.

Hula I am very sorry to read of your burglary. That must be so awful. My son's Father's house was burgled whilst they were away and all his toys/electronics/PC stuff was taken (teenage boys living locally did it).

Opportunistic thieves are the biggest threat yes but burglars themselves confirm that they use social media to 'case' likely targets and give them additional assurance of not being disturbed. They also told me once that dogs being put in kennels whilst the owners are on holiday made their 'job' easier! We didn't user kennels so much until the last 20 years. Dogs would stay at home and be fed by neighbours etc.

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imnotmymum · 10/09/2013 18:10

I do not do facebook but if I did then ...meh!

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Hulababy · 10/09/2013 18:07

In that case we shouldn't ever put anything anywhere online, MN included.

I keep my home as secure as I can - even more so since last years burglary - we had a second attempt about a month later which, as they didn't get in hopefully means the new security is working. We have arms, our house is regularly checked on by a couple of different people, inc visitors into the house itself. Everything is marked with Smartwater and also UV pens.

I have decent security on my FB and other social media. I am not going to go to the level of hiding any trace of where I am, if I am out, who my child is, etc. I can't live like that - it's just not for me.

I guess it is a risk I chose to take. But we all take risks daily. We have to decide which are calculated enough for ourselves.

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mignonette · 10/09/2013 18:00

My techie friend showed me how to hack any secure FB site I chose as a demonstration of just how insecure these sites are. It took her thirteen minutes and me 25 (bit of a Troglodyte). That convinced me of the importance of not banking/doing anything secure online. She hacked into the FB pages of people you would think had maximum security then closed the page just to demonstrate how easy it is.

She also said that her knowledge is not that special and plenty of people can do it.

It is even easier to find somebodies address whether your friends keep it confidential or not. If we all think we have privacy and confidentiality we are deluded.

Not saying that your average Burglar can do this but trying to make the point that we are all too complacent. I have worked w/ enough forensic clients in DAS's to know that FB/Twitter is a resource they use.

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ziggiestardust · 10/09/2013 17:57

hulababy I'm really sorry to hear about your experience.

I do think it's trotting out the same old stuff with saying your house might be burgled if you put photos on Facebook... Yeeees, but people get burgled (example above) when they're still at home, or out at work during the day, or out at Tesco, or in the back garden with their kids... I think it's a bit of a red herring.

As for the parties; I remember a house party getting mobbed when I was a teen because a girl texted her friends, who texted more friends, who texted more friends...

People getting burgled/house parties getting out of hand have always occurred (well, teens probably didnt hold house parties in the 1800's, but you catch my drift), regardless of social networking.

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Hulababy · 10/09/2013 17:47

If a friend of mine likes my post then their friends can still only see that one post afaik. My wall is restricted in what non friends see. i think even when they share a post, it is still only restricted to that one post/comment/photo.

If I don't know them, then they don't know where I live - unless the friend tells them i guess. I would hope my friends wouldn't hand out my address in that way, I trust them not to.

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AmpullaOfVater · 10/09/2013 17:42

Yes of course burglaries happen all the time and for all different reasons. No one is saying that NOT posting a pic of you on the beach will prevent your house EVER being burglarised.

Just a little bit of common sense is all that's needed. Not sure where all the 'moral superiority' came into it! I am a keen user of Facebook, just aware of what I put on there, that's all. I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

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exoticfruits · 10/09/2013 17:38

I am only on FB to share photos with a few people. Those photos are generally when I am on holiday. It takes seconds with an iPad.
I really don't know why a burglar should assume the house is empty if you do it-they would get a shock at mine!
Since my settings are tight the only people in danger of trashing my house or burgling me would be my friends-and they wouldn't be friends if they looked at my status and used it to do either!!

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Hulababy · 10/09/2013 17:35

I was burgled whilst I was actually in the house in bed. We even had a light on on the landing. Both cars on the drive. They burgled because they knew we were home - they wanted the keys to the car on the drive. Horrible - but made me realise that these people it doesn't matter what you do sometimes, they will just come and try and get what the one regardless.

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mignonette · 10/09/2013 17:28

What the heck is going on w/ MN? I only clicked once.

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mignonette · 10/09/2013 17:27

Look at the houses trashed by parties after details were shared on FB...

Honestly there are some weirdo's on here. People who think that advising caution about posting information on FB automatically means that we begrudge our friends their holidays!

What concrete 'All or nothing' cognitive processes....Grin. Warning about the very real risk of having your house identified as empty because thousands of people are made aware on FB that you have gone away (and it will translate as that many as Ampulla said) does not mean I am anti holiday photos! It may not be one of your casual FB acquaintances or real friends who burgles you, rather somebody who uses the grapevine to discover these things. And you are all being very very naive if you think it does not happen.

Yeeeesssss...Your house could be burgled while you are at work. Yeeesss, not going to work to prevent it would be overly cautious. But not publicising your empty house all over FB can be avoided. It is prudent to avoid making burglaries even easier.

And I for one would resent your insurance claim if you haven't been sensible.

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mignonette · 10/09/2013 17:27

Look at the houses trashed by parties after details were shared on FB...

Honestly there are some weirdo's on here. People who think that advising caution about posting information on FB automatically means that we begrudge our friends their holidays!

What concrete 'All or nothing' cognitive processes....Grin. Warning about the very real risk of having your house identified as empty because thousands of people are made aware on FB that you have gone away (and it will translate as that many as Ampulla said) does not mean I am anti holiday photos! It may not be one of your casual FB acquaintances or real friends who burgles you, rather somebody who uses the grapevine to discover these things. And you are all being very very naive if you think it does not happen.

Yeeeesssss...Your house could be burgled while you are at work. Yeeesss, not going to work to prevent it would be overly cautious. But not publicising your empty house all over FB can be avoided. It is prudent to avoid making burglaries even easier.

And I for one would resent your insurance claim if you haven't been sensible.

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mignonette · 10/09/2013 17:27

Look at the houses trashed by parties after details were shared on FB...

Honestly there are some weirdo's on here. People who think that advising caution about posting information on FB automatically means that we begrudge our friends their holidays!

What concrete 'All or nothing' cognitive processes....Grin. Warning about the very real risk of having your house identified as empty because thousands of people are made aware on FB that you have gone away (and it will translate as that many as Ampulla said) does not mean I am anti holiday photos! It may not be one of your casual FB acquaintances or real friends who burgles you, rather somebody who uses the grapevine to discover these things. And you are all being very very naive if you think it does not happen.

Yeeeesssss...Your house could be burgled while you are at work. Yeeesss, not going to work to prevent it would be overly cautious. But not publicising your empty house all over FB can be avoided. It is prudent to avoid making burglaries even easier.

And I for one would resent your insurance claim if you haven't been sensible.

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mignonette · 10/09/2013 17:27

Look at the houses trashed by parties after details were shared on FB...

Honestly there are some weirdo's on here. People who think that advising caution about posting information on FB automatically means that we begrudge our friends their holidays!

What concrete 'All or nothing' cognitive processes....Grin. Warning about the very real risk of having your house identified as empty because thousands of people are made aware on FB that you have gone away (and it will translate as that many as Ampulla said) does not mean I am anti holiday photos! It may not be one of your casual FB acquaintances or real friends who burgles you, rather somebody who uses the grapevine to discover these things. And you are all being very very naive if you think it does not happen.

Yeeeesssss...Your house could be burgled while you are at work. Yeeesss, not going to work to prevent it would be overly cautious. But not publicising your empty house all over FB can be avoided. It is prudent to avoid making burglaries even easier.

And I for one would resent your insurance claim if you haven't been sensible.

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