To think it's disgraceful to pierce little boys' ears?

[butterybiscuitbass]

I bumped into a really nice neighbour recently and to my surprise she'd had her sweet, placid, slightly chubby 5 year old son's ear pierced. I thought 'shame', then 'why?' then 'how cruel, I bet that really hurt'. Usually boys with pierced ears look like a proper handful and it's all too easy to adopt a prejudice about ear piercing and behavioural problems going hand in hand, thus marking that child out to be a wrong 'un. I actually think some parents want this image for their child for whatever reason. I could go on. This is surely a controversial one so come on sock it to me, are there any mums out there who have maimed their son in this way, and for what reason?

[Lilka]

123 I get that too! My adopted children have emotional and behavioural issues, and one has an unusual name, and add on piercings and odd dress sense etc...!

My 8 year old son wants his ear pierced. He asked me back in March and remains insistent that he wants it now

Since both my daughters ears were already pierced at that age (not by me because I didn't become their mum will they were 10 and 8 repectively) I won't refuse him because he's young

He's proven himself both responsible generally and also is good with his hygeine, and I believe he will take good care of the piercing with my supervision and reminders where necessary. If he was very bad at looking after his personal hygeine or not responsible enough to appreciate why it needs cleaning and remember to do it etc, I would not be letting him have one

However because the piercing is probably permanent, I said he needs to still want it by christmas. If he has wanted it consistently for that long then he can have a piercing. He'll still be 8

I don't consider that maiming in the slightest. People can judge away, I consider myself a good parent who acts in her kids best interests and protects them. Two of my children live with real marks of physical abuse so I find the word maiming a bit inappropriate in this context actually

[Lilka]

Oh and I also think that if he does get his ear pierced, it will look pretty good on him :) I like piercings, and my kids can get what they want as long as it's done safely and legally, and if young they can look after it

[DropYourSword]

Surely playing devils advocate is more "what about..." or "have you thought of ..." rather than "I think this". You are then starting your OWN opinion.

[Catsize]

Think ear piercing done on young children is assault, but there we go. I know I am a bit extreme in this, but deliberate infliction of unecessary pain is what exactly? Makes me sad to see young children with ears pierced. Would love to know why people do it. Serious question. Anyone know?

[puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE]

Why are you only horrified by it being done to boys op? Are you ok with the mutilation of young girls?

Don't see why you mentioned the boys weight (or nature for that matter)

[justanuthermanicmumsday]

Clearly the government doesn't see it as assault extreme is an understatement

[Ruprekt]

I LOATHE it on boys. Makes them look like thugs.

Don't mind it on girls when they are older.

HATE it on babies.

[bigbuttons]

There's alot of clutching pearls going on here.

[Catsize]

justanother, I am a lawyer and it clearly meets the definition of assault. I guess we don't prosecute it because of public backlash about nanny states etc., but smacking children outside 'reasonable chastisement' is now prosecuted so who knows...

[Catsize]

Sorry justanuther, got your name wrong.

[Tailtwister]

Rightly or wrongly, piercing a boy's ears does give people the impression they are tough. I don't like to see it on children full stop, but it's more accepted on girls.

[picnicbasketcase]

It looks generally horrible on all small children but I see what you mean about people associating it with bad behaviour.

[puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE]

Really BigButtons? Are you ok with ramming pieces of metal through childrens' ears?

[TantrumsAndBalloons]

Both my ds1 dd have their ear pierced.

Ds1 had his at 11. Realised that he had to take it out to play football which is approximately 5 times a week so after about a month he didnt bother to put it back in.

Dd had hers at 11. She's 15 now, never had any problems with it.

Ds2 did say last year that he would like his done as well.
I would have let him but ds1 told him it would be a waste of time due to football so he changed his mind.

I think 5 is a bit young for any gender tbh but once they are older, what's the problem?
Not everyone has to look the same do they?

My ds1 has cane rolled hair, wears hoodies and a cap almost constantly and normally has huge headphones clamped to his head. I dare say people think he looks a bit "rough" even without the earring.
Combine that with his "chavvy" name and he would probably have half of Mumsnet judging him...and me.

Do I care? Nope. Because i know who he is.

If you judge someone based on an earring, I think that says more about you.

[MoonlightPicnic]

As a guy with several ear piercings from the age of about 15 I generally have a liberal view on self expression, but these are small children for Gods sake and the only expression really going on with a pierced (often coupled with a skinhead, just like dad) five year old boy is some sort of projection from the parents. Equally for girls. At least let your child reach an age where they can find them selves before attempting to turn them into a "Mini Me"

[mrspremise]

^^^
what moonlight picnic said

[floatyflo]

I dunno if yabu or not...cant be bothered really...

But love your nn!

Bass! Bass! Bass! buttery biscuit bass!

Ill have that stuck in my head now

[Feminine]

My son really wanted his done when he was four, he had a friend at nursery with one.

I didn't make a big fuss, he forgot about it!

With his big curly hair, I think he would have looked a bit like David Essex!

Here is a shocker ...when my DH turned 50 he took himself off to get both of them done.

He is not conservative looking, so I guess they blended in.

op little bit unreasonable I think.

[MoominsYonisAreScary]

Im with tantrums, I think it says more about you.

But then ds1 is almost 19 and is working on a full sleeve tattoo. He also has a shaved head is 6foot4 and does weight training. I think most people on here would probably clutch their pearls and cross the street if they saw him coming towards them

[littlemog]

It looks vile on any children IMO. Teenagers less so but I am not a fan of piercings anyway.

[Sallyingforth]

The same answer for boys or girls. Neither should have their bodies modified for non-medical reasons until they ask for it and are old enough to understand the implications.
That goes for piercing, tattoos and genital alterations.

[AnaisB]

YABU for implying that his gender somehow make it more "disgraceful" and "maimed" - really????! Have you seen the news recently? Ear-piercing is pretty inconsequential.

Also, I'd argue you don't need to be that old to understand the consequences of getting your ears pierced. If you don't keep it clean it clean it might get infected. It might hurt a bit (probably similar to an injection).

[ouryve]

Do you feel the same about people "maiming" their daughters in the same way OP?

Do you read the Daily Mail, by any chance?

[Blondeshavemorefun]

hate seeing pierced ears on babies - regardless of sex, seems to be generally little girls as parents think it looks cute but have seen odd boy baby with one done and wonder why any parent would do this

my dh and most of his friends all did their own ears around 11/15 with needle/ice cube when pissed

i think if a girl child really wants them done then if over 10 they have a right to decide

i begged to have my ears done for years and finally at 10 was allowed (30years ago) my dad went with me as my mum didnt want me to have them done but agreed i could

few years later i had 2nd lot done, think i was about 14/15 and was about a year later when mum saw then and told me off for looking chavvy - cheers mum :)