To tell you I have a mental illness

[LEMisdisappointed]

Time to talk are having a "big share" on the demon facebook to raise awareness of mental health issues and prejudice.

i think this link will work

I suffer from depression and anxiety - it skews they way i take things sometimes, so something that would go over my head normally really upsets me and i over analyse EVERYTHING. I am on citalopram which helps with my anxiety and means i can get through the day without having a meltdown. I manage to be a good mum and decent partner and think im fun to be around. I am not ashamed to have a mental illness.

[Toomuch2young]

What a brave thread. I think it's great that people are starting to be more open about mental health issues but their is still such a way to go. Some people's experiences are so awful. idiuntno57 I hope you are getting help to deal with such awful experiences?

[ladyjadie]

I'm glad this thread is still going, was reading but couldn't post last night.

I am a scalp picker too! Can't believe so many others here are. I'm not sure if it's anxiety, I do it all the time, I was scrolling on my phone last night reading this and picking with my other hand I think I don't notice when I'm doing it and can realise my hand is on my head in public, it must look wierd.

Anyway I have mental illness(es), have been diagnosed as many things, have many traits of borderline personality disorder (as told by one of the first therapists I had, seven years ago) but since then have been told no, it's chronic depression (my GP) it's PTSD (from a more recent therapist) have also been told 'we all get like that sometimes' (from peers, not trained specialists but when I was trying to open up about my issues. That taught me!)

I also have co-dependency issues and abandonment issues which show themselves (I think) as extreme jealousy. Which makes relationships with people I really like (both romantic and platonic) a nightmare because any perceived (and that word is key when it comes to me) abandonment, and I'm either pushing them away or behaving terribly to them, as if to test their loyalty to me. Which has most people running to the hills (or being driven away there by me )

I've lost a few people I loved because it's like I can't stop myself.

[ScumbagCollegeDropout]

YANBU

I didn't have much experience with MH issues myself until recently (although I did have a period of undiagnosed PND after the birth of DD1).

I have been in a relationship with my awesome bf for 5 months now. He has bipolar 2. He has always been upfront about it (he had mentioned it on his dating profile). I have since been reading and watching what I can find about bipolar and in turn other mental illnesses. It's completely shit the amount of stigma that is still attached to MH issues and the more people can be informed about them the better

Have 'liked' the page in the OP. Thank you for sharing it LEM

[idiuntno57]

toomuch it was years ago and a lot has happened since then. I just got so cross with this particular individual belitteling what what is and was a big thing to deal with. Shouldn't have done it really....

[JugglingFromHereToThere]

I think I have a couple of borderline, undiagnosed things going on ....

I'm pretty sure I have attention deficit tendencies which makes it hard for me to prioritise, concentrate, and get things done.
Possibly linked to this I think I have had an underlying usually low level depression throughout my adult life - dysthymia I think it's called.
At times it's got worse such as after birth of DC2 when struggling to look after both dd and ds, so could probably call that episode PND.
Relationship with DH adds to the complexity of the situation.
Also struggling more as peri-menopause approaches I think.

Although I've talked to GP (and HV) about my feelings and had some counseling through my GP I've never really had a diagnosis (or treatment other than counseling)

Possibly I am somewhat on the edge regarding my mental health but I sometimes think a more thorough assessment, acknowledgement of difficulties, and support or treatment would be helpful.

Anyone else slightly on the edge of asking for a diagnosis and support ?

I think I'm a little unsure of implications regarding my work situation which may prevent me exploring this more through GP.

[MoreThanWords]

Signing in with entrenched depression, anxiety, social anxiety, scalp-picking and long term trichotillomania (sp?) (pulling hair out).

Taking Sertraline 50, occasional diazepam, have just started cbt and counselling. Throw in four years (and counting) of perimenopause symptoms ..... fun all the way!

My GP recommended a book on mindfulness but Im struggling to concentrate long enough to properly take it in.

[JugglingFromHereToThere]

Oh, I'm glad someone else mentioned the perimenopause and it's not just me MoreThan

I like the ideas of mindfulness and other aspects of the spiritual journey - and can relate to finding concentration difficult too. It's been ages since I've been able to finish a novel for example - but I like reading shorter things.

[JugglingFromHereToThere]

I wish you'd all stop mentioning scalp-picking - you're all making me feel quite ill

(just joking obviously !)

[ICBINEG]

good thread

I am bringing some birth PTSD and pnd that I am thinking should now be renamed 'd' given my DD is over 2 years old....

My DH has OCD..not too badly but to the point that he won't let DD visit my terminally ill mother because he is afraid there may be lead paint in my parents house...

[LEMisdisappointed]

juggling its ok, its pretty yucky but i can't stop!

[JugglingFromHereToThere]

I usually restrict it to my feet - the older I get the richer the pickings as it were bleugh !!

[Fishandjam]

YANBU. I'll out myself too.

I have often thought it would be an idea to have a little pin badge - maybe a black dog - which people with depressive illnesses could wear, especially if they're having a bad day. Then others who understand could at least give a supportive smile if they see them in Tesco's. (Though I guess there would be the usual brainless numpties who would use it as a way to harrass/poke fun...)

[HugAndRoll]

I went to the dr. Kind of talked about the voices but because it's in my voice it was dismissed. Tried to explain it IS my voice but different to the normal "internal narration" but it's obviously nothing to worry about. I now have my fluoxetine on repeat which is good - need to go back in a couple of months.

[ThePlEWhoLovedMe]

I have had panic disorder for 22 years ...which at time has spilled over in to Agoraphobia. I am not ashamed and my friends and work colleagues know. I have been taking my current medication for 3 years.

I just wanted to say that I am also a Social Worker working with teenagers. It has never affected my career and I have never felt that people look at me differently. I know a fair amount of SW taking medication - we are human too.

[idiuntno57]

fish and jam how would you do people like me who might be feeling a bit high..big overly smiley badge perhaps. MH problems not just feeling sad...

[LEMisdisappointed]

Maybe a double sided badge? :) I personally wouldn't want ANY badge to be honest, but i would like to think that if i chose to tell someone that i had issues and was on medication then I wouldn't run the risk of them feeling differently about me.

[shaketheshame]

I'm also a sufferer of depression and anxiety, I'm on Citalopram. I'm please to report that I have been fine for few weeks without major meltdown. I can say I'm alright. I can even dare say that I'm happy. Life is not sunshine and ice cream every day but I'm coping. Thank you for this thread !

[thingamywotsita]

this is nice, it's funny I'm pretty open with some people but I wouldn't or couldn't share it on Facebook as I couldn't have my family know. (as much of it stemmed from them anyway) I have been on citalapram for nearly two years, it's not been working well for a while, first I went back to the doc and he upped my dose from 20to40mg this was too much, it wiped me out and I felt totally out of it I went back and saw a different doctor (not deliberately it's just you see who is free) he said the dose was far to high and told me to take 20 one day 40mg the next. well this gave me spikes and troughs and still I felt no better but I gave it a go and returned a month later and saw another different doctor, a mental health specialist apparently, he refused to touch my medication, said it was working fine and all I needed was a bike and some fresh air, I told him I was cycling an hour a day to lose weight, and had lost 3 stone doing so, I had also been walking miles, and had even climbed Snowdon in July, he just said I didn't need to change anything and exercise would solve it all. so here we are, I'm really on edge, having distressing thoughts, anxiety through the roof, extreme tiredness, low mood, not enjoying things I normaly would, no attention span, irritable, scalp picking, skin picking till it bleeds, starving, binging, purging, and I know I have to go back and see a doctor but it's filling me with even more anxiety, knowing I will be treated like a hysterical woman, like there is nothing wrong with me, but my tablets have clearly stopped working and I have to sort it but it shouldn't feel like going into battle. I have done everything the doctors have suggested, counselling, cbt, exercise, weight loss, I have taken every suggestion but now I need to change drug, and it feels like I'm asking for a million quid!

[Pleasecansomeonereply]

Great thread.

I have suffered with Generalized Anxiety Disorder now for approx 9 years. I also have recurrent episodes of depression.
I have always worked and am in a parttime role now , middle manager NHS. Employers are supportive however I cant help but feel as though I am missing out... The part time aspect of my role adds to my anxiety

It has taken me roughly 2 years to get over having each of my children and I am frightened of ever getting pregnant again.

Am ready for the hills truth be told. I really feel under pressure to be perfect in every area of my life byut am falling waaayyy short.

I want to be ambitious and feel I would like to earn more money and take on more responsibility in my job however I have shocking probkems with concentration and regularly nod-off at work.

Maybe it will be easier when youngest DC starts nurnersy and we have more money to play about with... Maybe it will be easier when I lose 6 stones and stop being a fat heap

One 150mg Vensir.

Hugs to all of you x

[thingamywotsita]

bump

[SaucyJack]

Another Borderline PD here. Agreed that even amongst our fellow nutters we're still the lowest of the low. Sadface.

[Heartbrokenmum73]

Another one here. Have had PND, Ante-ND and plain ol' depression. Plus anxiety and panic attacks. I'm back on Citalopram and have a fantastic GP but am moving soon and worried about what my new healthcare team will be like.

Have experienced a midwife telling me I'm 'having a bad day' when I finally opened up about how bad I felt during my second pregnancy and a GP asking me 'if I felt like killing myself, why didn't I then?'. Ante-natal depression is still not widely recognised (and some people don't even recognise PND so their heads must explode at the thought of depression DURING pregnancy) and some people are just prickwits when it comes to mental health but, for the most part, I've had good experiences with healthcare professionals and friends/family.

I've been under a psychiatrist and told that as my depression is now so long-standing and up and down I'll be prone to it for the rest of my life, but I know myself and my feelings well enough by now to see the difference between bordering on suicidal (tick, been there) and PMT (crying and crying just before my period - such fun!).

No more kids planned (39 now, 3 kids, STBEx finished things 3 months ago after almost 20 years) so hopefully I'm through the worst of it.

Onwards and upwards!

[kali110]

Dont be ashamed. I have severe depression and anxiety. I dont hide it from friends or partner. Its nothing to be adhamed of its an illness, noone asks for it

[martha2013]

I'm ashamed. I'm ashamed of lots of the things I have done when manic and depressed. I'm ashamed that I have let down and ultimately lost my friends due to my actions when unwell. I'm ashamed that the only people I see through the day are paid to come and support me. I'm ashamed that I haven't got the career that my abilities and opportunities suggest I could hav e. I'm ashamed that I can't appreciate how lucky I am to have two amazing children and I'm ashamed to say that this horrible illness is impacting on how they grow up regardless of how hard I try to protect them.

I have shared the fb page. I would love to think things could change for me and for others but I have been met with nothing but rejection when I have shared in real life. MH issues have ruined my adult life, I don't expect anyone to react in any way other than to avoid me now.

[idiuntno57]

martha if I could hug you I would. Poor you. You are right, mostly having a very severe mental illness sucks. I think that it shouldn't suck as much as it does though and I am going to start to bore people rigid with tales from the asylum as it were in the hope that this will change something, somewhere.