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AIBU?

to let my children play with a tennis ball in the road

156 replies

HopeClearwater · 03/08/2013 11:15

Don't know what to do. We live in a small cul-de-sac of 3-bed semis. My dc are allowed to play with bat and ball outside at the widest part of the cul-de-sac. I can see them from my house. I don't let them play football there. An elderly neighbour is taking great exception to it, hates the ball rolling into his driveway (everything is open, tiny front gardens mainly converted to hard standing). He's just shouted at my younger child when the ball rolled into another neighbour's driveway.
He stands in his front room watching them when they play out and waiting for the ball to go somewhere he thinks it shouldn't.
I have a tiny back garden and my other neighbour complains when any balls land in his garden, so I feel that's out now as well.
I'm trying to be sympathetic to the old guy but I can't help thinking that he'd have spent his childhood in the streets of London and not stuck inside. He's shouted at me too, told me they shouldn't be playing out and it infringes his rights. I was very polite back but didn't actually agree or disagree with anything he said.
Help...

OP posts:

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pudcat · 05/08/2013 08:47

I really cannot believe how selfish some parents are regarding their children playing in the street. It seems to some that is ok to keep fetching balls from neighbours' gardens, or to hit noisy balls and bang scooters outside others' house. I do not want it. I do not want children continuously knocking on my door to retrieve balls. Let them play outside their own house, damage their own cars and gardens. I would like to be able to have my windows open on warm days. My grandchildren play in my back garden. They do not have hard balls. They play croquet, swing ball, quoits. They make tents with chairs and blankets. They have dolls picnics. They do not annoy the neighbours. It seems to me that some children and their parents need to respect others' property and privacy.

topknob · 05/08/2013 08:51

Seems to me some of you have forgotten that you were once children !

RedHelenB · 05/08/2013 08:52

Well you know your street - our cul de sac is small & cars have to slow down to come our end of it if you see what I mean & all the kids do play out. And neighbours will tell them or the parents if they are being pains!

I think it depends where you're from Pudcat - playing on the street with bikes & scooters is the norm here, unless the roads really are busy.

As to noise, adults are equally as capable of making it!! I certainly don't expect peace & quiet living in a detached house on a cul-de-sac!

MintyChops · 05/08/2013 09:19

YABU for a number of reasons. It is dangerous, there is the potential for damage to other people's property and it is interfering with your neighbour's enjoyment of his property.

pudcat · 05/08/2013 09:57

And neighbours will tell them or the parents if they are being pains. We have tried that. The children have been told to bring friends from neighbouring roads, and the neighbourhood watch lady has been told to f off, or have her face smashed in.

Seems to me some of you have forgotten that you were once children
No I haven't but I was taught to respect others and that it was not the god given right of children to do as they wished with no thought for others.

Andro · 05/08/2013 10:02

Seems to me some of you have forgotten that you were once children !

I would imagine that some of us:

Were not allowed to play in the road (I certainly wasn't)

Were clearly taught that not being careful with whatever toy would result in being brought in (applied to balls going over fences/walls/etc)

topknob · 05/08/2013 10:05

I have at no point said my kids or the others in the road don't respect others and I clearly pointed out that should they step out of line, they are told about it.

Kids should be able to play outside, who wants to be stuck indoors all the time or restricted to a back garden. They are growing up and need to learn. Part of playing out is learning what is acceptable and what isn't.

Thankfully we only have 16 houses down our road and only one miserable git !

pudcat · 05/08/2013 10:19

Unfortunately topknob not all parents think like you do, and the further their children play away from their own home the better for them.

FranSanDisco · 05/08/2013 10:34

I was never allowed to play on the street - twas common lol. My two have played out on bikes but tbh found it boring after a while. Plenty of complaints from neighbours who tended to mix up which child had done what so an innocent child would get shouted at the following day and so on.

We have some children who (a) never play outside their own homes and (b) cycle in front gardens using the cars as obstacle courses. I am tolerant but this is not on and one bike actually damaged my car door. They were shouted at and have not returned.

I tend to think if you have a garden that's where they should be really so yabu.

HelpMePleaseImConfused · 05/08/2013 10:34

I have children and i played out myself as a child in our cul-de-sac, but we would never have been allowed to play with a bat and ball in the street. There are so many things they can play with - bubbles, skipping ropes, bikes, scooters etc. This is the very reason some streets have signs saying 'no ball games'...it can cause damage and annoy other residents...this objection isnt a new thing. I can totally understand why he would be on edge just waiting to hear a ball come crashing through his window or hit his car or flowers. He is probably worried that if it did happen when he wasnt looking, noone would own up.

Every child is entitled to have fun in childhood but it doesnt need to mean there are no limits. It is his road too and isnt he entitled to a relaxed retirement as much as the kids are entitled to their fun. I think it is just as precious to insist that they must be specifically allowed to play with a ball when it is clearly upsetting him. Most of the other residents are probably at work or too embarrassed to complain. For example we have a dog who is constantly barking nextdoor because it is left outside. I have never complained but it annoys the hell out of us.

CaterpillarCara · 05/08/2013 10:41

Another idea for people needing active but non-neighbour annoying games in the garden is those large exercise balls (like you use when you are pregnant). Volleyball with those, lying on them and racing wheelbarrow style, lying on the ground and kicking them to each other, etc. Good exercise but not too noisy and not likely at all likely to head over a fence.

CaterpillarCara · 05/08/2013 10:43

Oh, and my kids are not allowed really allowed to play out, especially not with balls. We have had a person (an adult too!) badly hurt when running for a ball into our street and we have had our front door smashed - scary! That is enough for me...

They are allowed to bike around the block. There are very wide pavements and almost no pedestrians, so I judge that to be OK and not annoying to others. Haven't been told by anyone that they disagree.

StanleyLambchop · 05/08/2013 12:33

Kids should be able to play outside, who wants to be stuck indoors all the time or restricted to a back garden. They are growing up and need to learn. Part of playing out is learning what is acceptable and what isn't.

As long as that learning process does not inconvenience other residents. Otherwise they could get up to all sorts with the excuse 'oh they are just learning what's acceptable'. Fine as long as you are not the resident stuck with damage to his property. Maybe considering the feelings of the elderly resident should be part of that learning.

fedupofnamechanging · 05/08/2013 12:43

I don't think you have a right to let your child do anything which means they could cause damage to someone else's property or have to go into their garden to retrieve balls.

Personally, I wouldn't let my dc play in the road for safety reasons.

Cravey · 05/08/2013 12:50

Perhaps not give them a ball. Then they want have to go into his driveway to fetch it so he has nothing to moan about ?

HopeClearwater · 05/08/2013 12:51

DoingStuffforHarriet I love the way you make up what my road looks like and then announce IABU. I've specifically stated where my house is. It is not 'down the road' from the grumpy neighbour.

Anyway the kids are inside playing on the Wii as whatever my views are, I don't want to get into a neighbour dispute. There are other neighbours in this road doing far more annoying things (IMO) - think loud music from at least two houses, sometimes very late - but because the guy is deaf / hasn't chosen to get obsessed with this, he isn't complaining about it.

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MrsMelons · 05/08/2013 12:56

I wouldn't let the DCs play ball games of any sort in the street, too much risk regarding traffic etc, even in a quiet cul de sac.

Sorry to hear about your DD Worry.

I would have no issues with DCs playing outside in the street at reasonable times of the day but we have trouble with 1 family whos DCs are out at all times of the evening (and are very loud) meaning my 5 YO is unable to sleep a lot of the time. I really dislike them playing ball games as they are always hitting the cars etc.

MrRected · 05/08/2013 12:58

My Dd Was out blowing bubbles today. She had snuck out without telling me.

We live on a private lane servicing 4 houses. My neighbour ran into her with his car by accident. So IMO yabu.

HopeClearwater · 05/08/2013 13:03

Glad to see she's recovered from a collision with a car quickly enough for you to get on here and tell me.

The thread was never about RTAs.

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MintyChops · 05/08/2013 13:09

Er, people are trying to help you make the link between letting your kids play on the road and a potential RTA!! No need for the snarky attitude......

HopeClearwater · 05/08/2013 13:13

Plenty of advice on here already about that. Nothing about securing your doors...

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MintyChops · 05/08/2013 13:39

Playing on a road is still dangerous, even if your kids have your blessing to be there.....

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Cravey · 05/08/2013 13:44

The safety issue worries me also now I think about it. Kids and roads really don't make a good mix IMO. No matter how careful they are and how much sense they have, accidents can happen.

HopeClearwater · 05/08/2013 13:54

Much as I would like the world to be risk-free for children, it can't be. And now they have cycled off away from our road to the park. Risk risk risk.

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Cravey · 05/08/2013 14:05

Well yes I'm sure. I don't think you being sarcastic is warranted to be honest. You asked for opinions and got them. Why the sarcasm ?

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