to feel like I have failed because I want to give up on baby led weaning?

[honeytea]

Ds is 7 months old and he is doing reaply well with his eating. We waited till 6 months before we offered him food and we have been following blw. He has been eating the same food as us and actually managing to chew strips of chicken and trying lots of vegetables, he hardly ever gaggs and he seems to really enjoy food.

The only problem we have is the mess, I am not the greatest cleaner I have been spending 15-20 minutes aftereeach meal cleaning the highchair, floor, walls, baby, me. Ds can crawl and has just started pulling himself up and cruising around the furniture so I can't just leave him sat on the floor with a toy whilst I clean up anymore.

We are staying at my mums and last night we got back from a day out really late. I bought a pouch of baby food and gave it to ds on a spoon, he ate it with no problem andthe clean up took about 20 seconds.

I feel like I am letting ds down if we give up on blw as he is doing so well, but I don't want to waste quality time with him cleaning up avoidable mess. I like the idea of ds having control of what and how much he eats, I really want to help him develop a healthy relationship with food as its something I have struggled with.

[Treagues]

I don't know how you read that as 'purees are bad' because they are bloody lovely.

Yes I'm being deliberately silly because it is ridiculous. The whole thing is complete tosh started to give someone an artificial sense of importance and purpose and a book deal. The by-product is a load of women (mainly) who sense there are rules which they need to follow but can't, quite, all the time and who end up feeling guilty that they aren't doing the right thing. The 'right thing' in this case has been cooked up to satisfy someone else's career aims. Broadly speaking, we all need a varied diet, food comes in varying textures including pureed and is eaten with a variety of implements including spoons and children will develop in time to eat/use many or all of these without much help from us. Don't let your kid choke on anything. There really isn't much more to say.

It's exactly the same thing as sleep training/the naughty step/potty training boot camp etc et bloody cetera: first pathologize the existing possibilities, then invent a remedy which fits conveniently into book/workshop/forum format. Ignore the reality which is that there are hundreds of variations of child and parenting and most work out fine. Recognise that people need a thesis to cling to and will defend it vociferously and nastily (not you UniqueandAmazing but ask me about MN a few years ago: ouch). Ker-ching.

[mrsjay]

so that means that purees are bad then?

yes they are evil just about as bad as spoons but not quite

a baby can develop very well with puree as long as the nutrients are getting into them then what is the big deal ,puree introduces texture and taste then you move onto bigger lumps puree is not like milk at all it is different, and im sure a babies development isn't affected if they have a bit of pureed fruit,

[PriyaKoothrappali]

You could feed him but not use purées as he's been doing fine without them (they tended to bung DD up). That way you do control the mess. Also, I recommend a large shower curtain pr waterproof table cloth and a bumbo or equivalent. DD sat in her bumbo (with only a nappy on) and was able to make a complete mess, could reach out and pick up the food she'd dropped and then I would wipe up all the excess, shove the curtain in the wash and wipe DD down. I also have dogs who are tremendously handy at this stage . My friend out her DS in a bumbo inside a plastic tray. That contained a lot of mess. I also fed DD in the middle of the room and sat down on the floor with her to eat.

[itsallaboutyoubaby]

I Second the get a grip comment.

So much unnecessary angstin your post. And the bit about missing out on quality time? Unless you don't get to see him much I think it's a bit odd to consider 15 mins housework in that way.

Please don't take this the wrong way but have you always been so anxious or is it only since the baby?

[LeBFG]

There are some good BLW myths you're promulgating UniqueAndAmazing

the reason that it's 6 months is because that's when the gut is sufficiently developed to digest non-milk food this is contentious - there's lots of info that says the gut is ready before 6 months, and in addition, there is evidence that waiting till 6 months can INCREASE risk of certain allergies

that it's also a time when the motor skills of the baby are developed enough that they can handle the food (in their mouths as well as in their hands) ONLY relevant to BLWers

Why is it so important to people to get their babies (or their grandchildrenhmm ) onto "solids" when they just start with purees anyway? which do nothing at all for the baby's development except give them a different flavour. because they LIKE it.

Purees don't help with chewing or manipulation or tongue movement (which all can help towards development of speech) so what? Are you suggesting that oldskool weaners have problems developing speach?

Children are much less likely to choke on food if they have always been given the opportunity to manipulate their own food in their own mouths. Sorry, this is just a myth - no evidence. Most choking I would expect is caused by running/talking etc with mouth full. I find it VERY hard to believe that oldskool weaners are coking everywhere before the invention of BLWing!

[exoticfruits]

It is a load of tosh! I like purées myself- I think it utterly ridiculous to say that a baby can never have them. You are aiming to have them eat anything- I wouldn't be pleased if someone snatched things away from me and said - exotic mustn't have purée she always has to have lumps! Half the enjoyment of food is different textures as well as different flavours.
It really does not matter! Just give them what you are having- if it needs a spoon use a spoon!

[JackieTheFart]

Honestly, whatever suits you and your family is fine.

DS3 didn't really start wanting food until he was 7 months, DTS were 5 months and couldn't wait. I'm not even going to tell you if I did BLW or purees, suffice it to say, at four and a half and 20 months they all eat successfully!

[LeBFG]

Plus, most people can't just give bits of mushed up food to their babies because of the salt content (I remember one BLWer saying how she made her own salt-free bread each day ). Also, how do you mush a sandwich? Or a steak? Or field musherooms?

[bigkidsdidit]

Or in my case - share your dinner of gin and crisps

[UniqueAndAmazing]

Treagues - i actually agree with your POV

i don't think pushing purees into a baby's mouth to make sure they eat some prescribed amount of food is right, but that if you allow the baby to dictate, they'll eat what they need (and just focus on the milk until they've worked out that ooh, food takes the hunger away)

that's my POV

don't worry and don't sweat. saying you've given up on BLW and then stressing yourself because you want to spoon feed to make sure they've got enough food going in is insane.
as is the OP's point of giving purees just because it's less messy.

you could always meet halfway. whenever we're worried about something being too messy, we just give DD less messy food.

[UniqueAndAmazing]

LeBFG i don't agree with your destruction of my reasoning.
i don't believe they're myths.

and i know you wouldn't personally attack me, i'd tell mummy.

so nur.

[UniqueAndAmazing]

anyway, DD has never had a puree (with provisos detailed before), but she prefers us to feed her
ie: she will refuse to eat some things until it has been put up to her mouth (when she's feeling lazy)

she's never fed the food this way until she forces us to, but if you leaver her to it, she will sometimes just not eat it.

the easiest way with her is to sit her on my lap and eat my food (plate in front of us both) until she decides she wants it.
then she does the head bop and cranes her neck until she has nabbed the food out of my hand.

not ideal, and probably not BLW, but she thinks it's fun.
(she does eat food without this game as well)

[UniqueAndAmazing]

"Plus, most people can't just give bits of mushed up food to their babies because of the salt content"

we don't cook with salt

(part from bread, but it's a tiny amount in a loaf - we do make our own bread bcause we're avoiding soya)

I don't wash with "if you don't introduce solids until 6 months you're more likely to develop allergies"
I just don't believe that can be true.

DD's eczema seems almost certain to be dairy (or soya- the heat means we haven't re-introduced soya because we don't want to mask symptoms), she wasn't given solids until 26 weeks (at 25 weeks, she stole some of my dinner, but she wasn't given it!), but she had eczema possibly from birth (or a precursor to eczema).

sorry for keep posting,...

[LeBFG]

Well, those are your beliefs Unique. I don't think it's a good idea to promote them as facts.

[UniqueAndAmazing]

i'm not - i'm just stating what Gill Rapley's book says (from what she found)

[MrsOakenshield]

I agree with LeBFG - Unique - do you have any research to back up what you are saying? Because it sounds like you are just repeating what's in the Gill Rapley book.

As I said, I gave up on BLW and went on to purees/mushed up food and spoonfeeding. No problem with speech and she could feed herself from aged one. No problem introducing different textures. Perfectly able to regulate her own appetite (is that the right phrase?) Same with most people I know.

People wean their babies in a number of ways, whatever suits both them and their baby. But I don't like these suggestions that if you do it one way and not another, it will result in things like delayed speech and obesity. Show me good, solid, scientific research published in a peer-reviewed journal and I'll give it the time of day. If not - well, it's no different to the bollocks 'Dr' Gillian used to come out with.

[LeBFG]

So your beliefs and hers correspond. They aren't supported by the facts.

To be fair, lots of this advice (no food before 6 months) stems from the WHO guidelines, which were the best advice at the time. The guidelines are 10 years out of date and newer research is pointing to the 4-6m time frame as a good time to start solids.

All the stuff about learning to chew and choking etc is based on zilch. Diddly-squat.

[daytoday]

Surely all bloody weaning is baby led? Have you ever tried to get a baby to eat anything it didn't want to?

I find the term so utterly irritating. Like baby led walking, or baby led breathing? Or baby led pooing.

The only key to enjoyable weaning is to try really hard not to get stressed and accept all babies are born with different palates and different appetites. It's a joy to get a child who loves eating but some are just too busy and not tht fussed with food.

[MrsOakenshield]

LeBGF - is that to me? My beliefs and Unique's? Because I'm querying the assertions Unique is coming out with, that sound exactly like what is written in the Gill Rapley book, and which I'm doubtful about.

[thefuturesnotourstosee]

We're doing a mixture of the two.

WHATEVER YOU DO DO NOT give your BLW baby cous cous EVER

[SuedeEffectPochette]

I am a firm believer that a happy mummy makes happy children. If you like BLW go for it. If mess stresses you spoon feed them till they are at least two then hand over to dry food until they are about seven. No problems! I virtually did (am doing) the latter, but I hate clearing up mess! I watched my friend give her 7 month old lasagne to feed himself (in my kitchen!) and that put me off BLW for ever! To be fair, I have got twins and no time to tidy up!

[poppingin1]

I did both, don't worry too much about it.

"I think most mothers do a bit of both- and always have done. Footage from remote tribes show mothers putting food into their children's mouths and children exploring food with their own hands. I seemed to have seen the same in nature films about primates. A mixture decided by the mother."

This is very true.

[poppingin1]

And yes, we stopped cooking with salt in our home too.

[UniqueAndAmazing]

Oakenshield - mine and Gill's.
you cross-posted, that's all.