to want people to stop shortening my name? (first world issues!)

[lastnightiwenttomanderleyagain]

I have a very traditional, slightly long name. Without specifically mentioning it, it's the name of a former British queen who wore black a lot.

So why, without me asking, do people feel the need to shorten it? It drives me mad. For the record, I have no problem with other people who choose to use said name. However, when I was at primary school (oh yes, it goes back that far) there was a girl who was actually called the short form and she was an absolute cow. Since then, I've really hated being called it.

What's worse, is now it's people in a business context doing it. I would never shorten someone's name unless there was an 'oh, please call me xxx' or they signed their emails that way.

AIBU to be irrationally irritated by this?

[Justforlaughs]

I really dislike my given name and have just about resigned myself to living with the shortened version, however my MIL will not call me that name, I'm sure it's deliberate, so I'll phone her up and say "Hi, it's Kate" and she'll say "oh, hello Katherine". I mean, what is that about?? And I get even more annoyed when people call me "Katie", as I think it sounds like a little girls name.

I have to admit that I am finding this thread hilarious, with people giving clues to their real names, which are easily identifiable. Surely, you either don't care whether people know what your name is - in which case just say it, or you do, in which case keep it secret

[Justforlaughs]

Oh, and don't start me about teachers shortening my DCs names without asking. My DCs don't like the shortened version of their names but don't have the confidence to pull their teachers up on it. While I will happily do so, I feel that it makes me sound like a "fussy" mother who can't bear to hear their names shortened, it's not about what I like, but what they want.

[fedupofnamechanging]

OP, I was given your name when I was born and my mum spent the first few days of my life telling everyone not to shorten it because she really didn't like it.

Everyone ignored her and by the end of my first week I was given a new name! My nan had just had the christening stuff engraved, but tough shit - she really ought to have respected my mum's wishes.

squoosh my dd has a long name and I reserve the right to be pissed off if other people call her something completely different, that I haven't actually chosen. When she is of an age to decide for herself, she can pick any name she likes, but while she is little it is my choice. I did not spend 9 months carefully selecting a name for some for some stupid fucker to call her something they prefer!

[squoosh]

Karma yes while she's a baby/toddler you can instruct people to address her as you choose. You clearly feel very strongly about it. Maybe you should relax a bit though because as soon as she has her own voice she'll be the one who decides. I really pity the poor sods whose mother pipes up 'How dare you call him Sid! His name is Sidney'.

Yes you give your child a name but once it's bestowed it's out of your control. It doesn't belong to you.

[bulletwithbutterflywings]

Madeleine?

[LauraShigihara]

I hate it when people shorten my name.

The fact that I spent the first forty years of my life introducing myself as the shortened version has no relevance. I demand to be known as Longname now

Actually, after always being known as Shortname, when I opened a new email account using Longname, my own mother didn't know who was sending her these emails

[gintastic]

Opposite problem here! My full legal name is a short version - when I introduce myself people always say "oh is that short for xxxx or yyyy" (2 common longer forms. One woman started a row with me when I said "neither, just zz". Apparently it 'must' be short for something and she 'doesn't use nicknames'. I think I know what my birth certificate says!

[DiseasesOfTheSheep]

Not unreasonable at all. I once shortened a friend's name (same as yours!) when we were at school and had a lesson together. I just presumed people called her that, then once I asked if it was ok (god knows why as I'd been calling her it for ages!) and she said she hated it. I still feel bad now [shame]

[PipkinsPal]

Some of my friends shorten my name which doesn't bother me. No-one in my family does and my name was never shortened in school but it really p's me off when people who don't know me abbreviate my name.

[neversaydie]

I have an unusual two syllable name, which is similar to a much more frequently-used three syllable one. So, I tell people my name, they don't listen properly and promptly call me the wrong name. Or one of the many not-really-variants that just happen to start with the same letter.

When I protest they proceed to call me by the first syllable only. Hence my user name...

[CunningAtBothEnds]

I have the same name as you. However its always been shortened. I dont particularly love it but what annoys me most is when people spell the shortened version "wrong" as in with a Y or an IE. I dont find it irksome if it is a one off but people who have seen my name written by me, should at least be able to replicate it!!

I have recently married and now introduce myself as full name surname as my shortened name sounds naff!

[KittyTwatknicker]

It infuriates me when my daughter Lucy is called 'Luce'. I deliberately chose a short name, but it still gets shortened. It sounds like 'loose' which is awful!
My name however is always shortened, except by my mother!

[3birthdaybunnies]

Ds (3) hates being called by a shortened version of his name (e.g. Sam instead of Samuel). He will say to people 'I'm not Sam I'm Samuel', still doesn't stop people doing it though. Have recently thought that maybe it is because he has a good friend who has always been known as Sam. I've realised that to him it's not that he thinks that they've got his name wrong, but that he thinks that they genuinely thinks he is his friend, no wonder he gets upset that people he knows well still can't tell the difference between him and his friend. I don't tend to challenge people but always use his full name, it seems precious to challenge but am a bit sad for him that he feels that people don't know the difference between him and his friend.

[HuevosRancheros]

My mum, Jennifer, died last year.
She was Jen to my Dad, Jennifer to everyone else
If anyone called her Jenny, I knew they weren't a 'true friend'
When I talked to the vicar about her funeral, he said 'and I assume she was 'Jenny'?' When I said 'no' he said, 'oh, most people aren't that fomal these days'
Or maybe they just like their name!
YANBU,

[Fluffyears]

My given first name is Melissa, don't mind telling you. I don't mind getting Mel but some people make the mistake of calling me Melanie, I was bullied by an evil witch called that so they get the death stare! I've noticed it tends to be family who use the long version mostly. One exbf called the house one day when I lived with parents and asked for Mel my dad said 'no one of that name lives here' and hung up. The ex used to call me meliss which I didn't like why not just say the a at end if going that far!

[emblosion]

See, I really don't mind what people call me. I've got a hyphenated first name, which I like & use, but most people call me just by the first name or a shortened version.

They all feel like 'me' , I suppose it'd be different if there was a version I hated. My mum is another Jennifer & is known as Jen, Jennie or Jennifer to different people...

I would never presume with anyone else though, I always ask people what they prefer to be called (an a hcp)

[emblosion]

am an hcp

[Curioustiger]

YANBU. My name is readily shortened (think Elizabeth although it's not that). I much prefer one short form which is also a standalone name in its own right although much less common (like Beth rather than Liz). I have all my email addresses in the name of bethsurname, any form that is not government correspondence etc gets the shortform and so on. Therefore that's what I expect people to call me and they do. The same courtesy should apply to you with your long name.

I was surprised though recently when my friend told me her dad had specifically picked her and her sister's names so that they couldn't be shortened... Camilla and Annabel? I was ...

[formicadinosaur]

When you introduce yourself to new people, just say you hate it being shortened. Word will get around.

[CrackedNipplesSuchFun]

I hate it too OP.

My name is three letters, 2 syllables ffs. People STILL shortenen it... that 2nd syllable is obviously just to much like hard work. It's a fucking 'a'.. seriously!?! Now when people do it I immediately say 'ah', to which they look perplexed and then I say I like all three letters said.

[EugenesAxe]

I have just spent a good few minutes wondering how 'cursed' could ever translate into Vicky or Vic, until I realised you were talking about yourself whiter, and that your name must be Kirsten or Kirsty. I'm such an idiot sometimes.

YANBU but I am terrible for messing about with people's names. I often sign off 'Em' when dealing informally with someone; it still takes me by surprise when people actually call me Em though. Although it doesn't bother me, of course.

I called a Louise 'Lou Lou' the other day, and a lady called Fiona from church 'Fifi'. WTF actually. I really should stop - it seems to mostly be when I'm saying goodbye e.g. 'See you later Fifi!'. I hope though that I would be able to sniff out people I could tell wouldn't appreciate me being that familiar with, and refrain from doing it with them.

Kitty - I kind of hate this too, but unbelievably still do it myself to my own daughter. My name fiddling tendencies are that out of control. It always makes me think of that slimeball from 'While You Were Sleeping' when he sidles up to her in his Dad's apartment and says 'Hey, Luce!'

[HooverFairy]

ILoveAFullFridge - WTAF? Really??? You wanted to call the teacher a shortened version of her name because she didn't shorten names? So, nevermind that your teacher was polite enough and respected the distance within the teacher-student relationship to use full names then? I've lost count of the amount of times my students have told me to use a shortened version of their names only to have their parents pull me up on it at parent's evenings; the most problematic ones being Charles and Rebecca.

IMO full names should be used in any formal and unfamiliar situations, shortened names are for family and friends and only at the person's request.

My name isn't one that can be shortened so outside of my friends no one really does, but my friends sometimes try and I like it when they do as it shows the familiarity of our friendship. I doubt I'd like it if it was everyone though, one of my close friends can't stand it when people shorten her name. I agree with her, it's like the shortened name is referring to a different personality! Doesn't suit her at all.