To not want to drive DP's family and friends back and forth to Heathrow?

[nicecupofteaandbiscuit]

We are getting married in a couple of weeks. DP's friends and family live abroad and are flying into Heathrow. This is the schedule:

Thursday: Best man arrives
Friday: BIL and SIL arrive
Saturday: MIL, FIL and GIL (Grandma-in-law) arrive
Sunday: Wedding
Tuesday: Best man leaves
Saturday: FIL and GIL leave
Friday: MIL leaves
Saturday: We go on honeymoon (from Heathrow!)

AIBU to not want to drive them all back and forth to Heathrow? We live about 1.5 hours drive away, but it will take more like 2-2.5 hours in the morning rush hour, which is when all their flights arrive/need to check-in for departure. Also, we will have to get up really early and I am not a morning person, and am unlikely to sleep well the few days before the wedding anyway. DP has the Thursday and Friday off work before the wedding, and I just have the Friday off.

On the other hand I feel like they are spending so much money to come to our wedding, that I should be more accommodating.

[EasterHoliday]

may I recommend Langley Station Cabs? they're about 15 mins from Heathrow - call them from baggage hall & then meet outside. They're FAR cheaper than taking an airport black cab and are totally reliable.

[eurozammo]

Can't one of them hire a car and then do the running about for you? Sounds like a job for the BM to me, and he is the first in!

For our wedding, we collected MIL from the airport (about 30 mins away) as she was coming alone, but left everyone else to it.

[MistyB]

Could the best man do the airport pick ups on the following two days?

[livinginwonderland]

Tell them to get the train!

[DIYapprentice]

Or even the best man - after all he's supposed to do SOMETHING to help with the wedding!!!

[DIYapprentice]

Could you ask BIL/SIL to pick up PIL? Am assuming it is one of their parents. Just get them insured for 4 days on your car.

[Thumbwitch]

Ah yes, I see that logic. :)

[nicecupofteaandbiscuit]

Plus, although the taxi is pricey, I don't think it is that bad. If we give them £60 towards it (basically what we would have spent in petrol for two trips to the airport), then they only have £120 to pay. National Express would cost ~ £25 x 3 for trip from the airport (PIL and GIL) and £25 x 2 for return trip (FIL and GIL) = £125 total.

[nicecupofteaandbiscuit]

The reason that DP would pick up best man but not PIL, is because PIL are arriving the day before the wedding. This means he'll have to get up at ~5.30am that day, and spend 4-5 hours driving. We have so much else to do that day. In the afternoon, we are putting on a buffet at our house so that our families can meet. We also need to take stuff over to the venue and decorate it, and anything else that needs doing.

So normally I would agree that DP should pick up PIL, and he would definitely do this if they were arriving any other day, but that day will be particularly busy.

[Thumbwitch]

I think you've got a good plan there, although the taxi for FIL/GIL will be very pricey and I think you might have to consider offering to pay for that.

In fact, if I were you, I'd send DP to collect his parents and grandmother and sod the best man - unless he has special needs, he can organise transport for himself! FIL/GIL to return by taxi - I think that's fair enough - but they really ought to be picked up by your DP.

[Justforlaughs]

If my family were coming for a holiday I'd pick them up; if they were coming for my wedding I'd help arrange transport (public/ taxi); if my IL's were coming - they could walk
Sounds like you've got a more sensible solution sorted out now. If PILs aren't happy I suspect it will be more to do with the fact that DP is picking up best man and not them, but that's down to him.

[SelfconfessedSpoonyFucker]

We travel from San Diego and have done so with two small children in years past and managed. My mother came with a car one time to Heathrow which was VERY nice, but other than that we've always got around under our own steam.

[Mumoftwoyoungkids]

Where are they flying from? Travelling in from Australia - you probably should pick them up. Or they may fall asleep on the train and end up in Edinburgh. Coming from Paris - not so much.

[Gooseysgirl]

Plan A where you and DH were the taxi service would have been sheer and utter madness. Your new arrangements sound much more manageable. I would not expect to be collected, even if it was close family... especially when you live so far away from Heathrow. The last thing I had time for in the days before our wedding was being a taxi service. All our guests hired cars (airport 90 mins from venue) or were collected by our friends living locally who were delighted to help out. Like you OP I only finished work shortly before the wedding.

[FriskyHenderson]

You are working and getting married. Driving 5 hours the day before your wedding when you don't have to is just daft.

[Alibabaandthe40nappies]

Joining - did you miss the part where the OP said she was at work until the Friday?

OP - surely if your DP was going to do one trip then it should be to pick up his parents? The best man can make his own way, surely?

I'm really stunned tbh. We went to a wedding abroad last year and at no point did we consider it anyone's responsibility other than our own to get to the wedding location and back again. We hired a car, worked out the route, had a few mishaps with the foreign road signs but we got there.
If they are Americans then it isn't as if they don't speak the language!

[2rebecca]

If you go abroad on holiday you have to work out how you get from the airport to wherever you are going. I don't see why it's different when visiting relatives. If the relative you are visiting lives 100 miles from the airport then you have to work out how you are going to travel the 100 miles surely?
Why should you assume the airport is the end of your journey and the rest is someone else's problem? I really don't get this attitude.

[EldritchCleavage]

I prefer a taxi-you can collapse into it and sleep with no expectation of chat from the nice relative who just picked you up. I think it would be unreasonable of PIL to be cross.

[Joiningthegang]

I would do it - they will be your family soon too.

They are coming to your wedding from another country so it is nice to spend time with them.

Lots of mean spirits on this thread.

[kickassangel]

I get pre booked taxis to/from Heathrow when visiting the UK. Public transport is good, but a long haul flight, no sleep and being in a strange place with luggage to haul around it can be pretty confusing. The taxi costs about 70 pounds, which isn't too much compared to petrol and parking.

[MumnGran]

Sounds sensible....but I hope they are picking up the cab fare!

Have a lovely wedding day, OP.

[minibmw2010]

Sorry cross post there.

[minibmw2010]

There's a wonderful thing in this country called public transport ... Encourage them all to use it !!!

[nicecupofteaandbiscuit]

Public transport option is National Express (2.5h, direct) or train from Kings Cross (~1h from Kings Cross). I wish I had friends or family to help out, but they all live much further from Heathrow than me, bar a couple of friends who have busy enough lives as it is.

FIL and GIL are leaving earlier than MIL, as FIL doesn't like to travel/be away from home. I think PIL are cutting it fine to arrive the day before the wedding. They are coming from the US, and will fly overnight on Friday and arrive early Saturday morning. This means that not only will they be jetlagged, but they will have probably not had much sleep.

What we have decided is:
Thursday - DP will probably pick up best man (his choice)
Friday - BIL and SIL make own transport arrangements
Saturday - Send taxi for PIL and GIL
Tuesday - best man gets National Express
Saturday - FIL and GIL get taxi
Friday - Drive MIL to Heathrow and (hopefully) stay overnight with a friend nearby

I don't think PIL are going to be happy about this. They didn't even ask us to pick them up - they just assumed that's what would happen.

[Laquitar]

Why do they come and leave on different days?? Fil leaves one day and mil another? Madness to go and pick them up on different days. When we married abroad we told family that we can arrange mini bus if they organise to come all at once. Otherwise it is very tiring. If your family choose to travel on different days then they should pay the cab imo.