To think that it's really not necessary to put "serve and enjoy" on cooking instructions?

[MrBloomsMarrow]

That's it really. Yes, I know it's trivial but what else would you do with a microwave meal when it's ready? You're hardly going to chuck it straight in the bin or feed it to the cat.

[giraffesCantWearSuncream]

Wandeeings thats probably because when you toss it it lands on the floor and dog eats it before you can serve it.

[wanderings]

Pancake instructions in brief:

Mix; stir; fry; toss. (As in the song)
No mention of serve!

[Alibabaandthe40nappies]

One of my son's soft toys has a label that says 'do not iron'.

That had mum and in hysterics

[GOINGINSANEMUM]

Going off the topic of food, observed on my tshirt label, wash when dirty!! Reeaaallllyy?!?!?!

[limitedperiodonly]

wilson Have checked the bottle. There's something on the label but I'm not wearing my reading glasses and I'm fucked if I'm putting them on.

[BlackMini]

I opened a packet of feta cheese today with a picture of cubed cheese on the front. It had "serving suggestion" written underneath. Made me chuckle and think of this thread.

[WilsonFrickett]

How do we feel about 'enjoy responsibly' on the ?

[Chocolatestain]

I was once served a packet of peanuts with my G & T on a plane that said 'Open packet. Eat peanuts.' And there was me about to shove them up the nearest toddler's nose.

[limitedperiodonly]

I looked up Higgidy Pies in Sainsbury's tonight. I feel quite benign to them but I didn't buy one.

for Stealth

IB I like Enjoy Yourself especially the . I do hate Simon Mayo though.

[whomovedmychocolate]

If you want to have a laugh sometime, call the people who make the catfood and describe how you did not enjoy their product and neither did your cat. If you can pretend you ate at least two different flavours, to give it the benefit of the doubt, it's best. I asked them if they thought he might perhaps enjoy it more if I shoved the dead vole I found by the door into it?

And who can forget:

[StealthPolarBear]

iot's been a very long time since I saw that film, were there dolphins?

[Thurlow]

Only cats? What about dolphins?

[StealthPolarBear]

Thurlow, if you start to notice cats appearing and disappearing in your line of vision, you'll know the database has noticed.

[StealthPolarBear]

IB what is a pseud?

[StealthPolarBear]

a deep fat frier?

[Thurlow]

A database I use at work asks me to "wait patiently for your results" while it thinks about stuff. I'm worried it has a webcam. How would it know if I wasn't waiting patiently?

And a bottle of liquid soap: "Protect from frost"

[yoshipoppet]

I get unreasonably annoyed by telly chefs banging on about pan-fried this or pan-fried that.
It's so unnecessary - what else are you going to use for frying it in but a flipping pan? Why not just say Fried?

[ImperialBlether]

I really hate it when people say "Enjoy" just before you eat. Ffs why not say, "Enjoy your meal" or even "Enjoy it." It's so bloody pretentious but really belongs in Pseuds' Corner.

It puts me right off my dinner.

The other 'enjoy' I hate (on a roll here) is that bloody song that Simon Mayo plays on a Friday. (Enjoy yourself, it's later than you think.) And then he reads out notes from all the listeners who've waited until Friday to hear that song. Have they never heard of YouTube?

[MrBloomsMarrow]

Do you mean the pie has this stuff written on the packaging? Please reassure me the pie doesn't actually talk. Somebody mentioned talking scotch eggs earlier and I can't get the image out of my mind.

[StealthPolarBear]

Oh yes "heat me in the microwave but as your mother always says be careful when you take me out as I might be hot. I contain two of your five a day so I'm healthier than I taste. Enjoy me responsibly and serv me with cream"

It almost gets pornographic when food talks to you

[limitedperiodonly]

I had a Higgedy-pie last night. The cardboard box was chattier than most of my friends, and seemed to be on more intimate terms with my likes and dislikes.



What's a Higgedy-pie btw? I'm thinking of something made from hedgehogs.

[beeben31]

I once bought the cheapest lawnmower that Homebase sold, the first line of the instructions about how to assemble it was "you may find this lawnmower hard to assemble".

We did & had to take it back to Homebase where the staff couldn't assemble it either. We had to upgrade and buy the second cheapest.

[OnIlkelyMoorBahtat]

I like the "serving suggestion" pictures where they just have the foodstuff on a plate - simple, but to the point!

[Brevitybabe]

The one that always gets me angry is "serving suggestion only" what else do you do - use it as an ornament???

[HouseAtreides]

I remember years ago, the Somerfield peas my parents bought used to have a picture of peas on the tin, a simple photo about 1/2 inch by three inches. Nothing else in the photo but peas. It still said 'serving suggestion'- as if it was suggested that you look at them through a small letterbox.