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AIBU?

To still have DD in my room at 14 months?

38 replies

MoveItMoveIt · 06/07/2013 00:09

Its just me and dd. I still have her cot in my room but most of the time shes in my bed with me.

I like having her close and she seems to like it too.

Will I have massive issues when I try and move her into her own room when shes a little older? A few people have told me im making a rod for my own back.

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McNewPants2013 · 06/07/2013 18:58

Ds finally went into his own bed aged 5, dd loved her own space from birth.

They are welcome to sleep in my bed when ever they want, which is when they are ill or scared.

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hels71 · 06/07/2013 18:53

My DD happily moved to her own room at 34 months.....the same time as she equally happily stopped BF to sleep......
She sleeps just fine (I miss her though!!!)

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Enfyshedd · 06/07/2013 15:56

DD is nearly 14 mo, have co-slept since the first night she came home from hospital and screamed for 20 minutes when we tried to settle her in the swing crib next to the bed. Spent a few weeks trying to put her into a carry cot which was in the bed with us, but 2 out of 3 nights it didn't work and we gave up. Have now decided to not worry about putting her in her own cot/bed until she's finished teething (11 and a half down, 8 and a half to go...) and isn't likely to be fractious at night.

My opinion, YANBU. If it's working for you and your DD, then I think it's just fine.

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OxfordBags · 06/07/2013 10:58

My Ds is in his cotbed next to our bed (although always ends up in with us by the small hours) and he is over 2. A lot of experts say that a child should be in with their parents until they are at least 3. The moving them into their own room thing early is only a relatively recent cultural thing (for non-toff types, anyway).

If it ain't broke, why fix it?! Sounds like it is working v nicely for you and your DD :)

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AnnaFiveTowns · 06/07/2013 10:54

It's lovely - for you and her. My dd slept in our bed until she was 3. She's 7 now and sleeps in her own bed. Can't even remember the transition so it can't have been that difficult.

Ignore the "making a rod for our own back" types. I was told those exact words by a nurse in the maternity hospital when I was cuddling my ds when he was a few hours old, FFS!! You'll look back in a few years and wonder what you were worrying about. And you'll have those lovely memories forever.

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MoveItMoveIt · 06/07/2013 10:40

Thanks everyone for sharing. So the plan is to keep doing what were doing and tell the nosy buggers who say its not a good idea to sod off Grin

Pumpkin it depends on how tired she is really for where she has her daytime nap. If she is super tired and half asleep she will go down in her cot, if she needs a bit of settling she will usually have them in my bed.

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neunundneunzigluftballons · 06/07/2013 10:28

oooops he is being night weaned by me buy dh is doing the settling back to sleep Blush

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neunundneunzigluftballons · 06/07/2013 10:26

nope yanbu. DS 19 months is only out of our room again, he was out for at a year for a couple of months but we needed his room for a while and he was still coming into our bed every night from about 2 anyway. My dh wants some us time in our bedroom fair enough. He is being night weaned at the moment by DH which is pure bliss. DS is happy enough and there really is no crying but Dh has to get up and do the cuddles. All no big fuss it happened easily when he was ready.

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puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 06/07/2013 10:20

My DD was in my room until she was about 3, so no YANBU Smile

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Pumpkinette · 06/07/2013 10:17

My DD was in her toddler bed in our room until she was 3 and a half. Ok it was because we were living in a 1 bed flat, but still nothing wrong with it.

We moved house in April and it took about 3 weeks to get her settled and now she stays in her own room all night (about 99% of the time anyway)

If you are happy to co sleep/ share a room then I don't see the issue. Does you daughter take her naps in her own cot through the day? Or in your bed?

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ExcuseTypos · 06/07/2013 10:11

YANBU

Dd1 was in her own room quite early (this was 22 years ago and the advice to have them in your room for 6 months wasn't given). She slept from 11-5 from 8 weeks and was in her own room at about 3 months.

Dd2 was a terrible sleeper, she needed to be near me or DH and I was still feeding her in the night until she was about 14 months. In the end we put her little bed next to ours(to give us all more room in bed) and she slept like a log. She went into a room with her sister when she was 2.

Do what suits you and your child and don't worry about what anyone else thinks.

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sweetsummerlove · 06/07/2013 10:01

my 22 mo co-sleeps part night, we love it. yanbu, I just wouldn't bother asking opinion if you are personally happy, since there are many who will love to express dislike or horror stories of cosleeping. Baby will sleep alone when shes ready to, until then keep her close if it works for you both x

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Kiwiinkits · 06/07/2013 08:46

It's only a problem if you're not happy with the arrangement, OP.

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catgirl1976 · 06/07/2013 06:35

If it works for the pair of you then it's fine :)

If it ain't broke...............

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Uptheairymountain · 06/07/2013 06:32

YANBU, I hope!

My 13 month old DD sleeps with me and we're no hurry to change that. If she wakes up in the night she quietly plays with her toys for a while then, when she's ready to go back to sleep, gives me a big, sloppy kiss and says "night."

No reason to share that story - it just makes me happy Grin.

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ukatlast · 06/07/2013 06:07

YANBU whatever works for you. Did loads of co-sleeping with our two - never forced them out - they decided for themselves. It's only a problem if you'd prefer to be alone.

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Isoscelesnorks · 06/07/2013 04:47

Less washing as well if its just the one bed

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kritur · 06/07/2013 04:05

Also on my own and 19 month old dd is in bed with me. Plenty of room in the bed when you're on your own so why now!?

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FirstStopCafe · 06/07/2013 03:20

YANBU - if it works for you why change it?

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AgentZigzag · 06/07/2013 01:08

When DD2 got to about 2ish, I knew theoretically that she 'should' be in her own bed/room, but for selfish reasons I wasn't ready for her to go, and for her own selfish reasons, she wasn't either Grin

We both wanted to have those things being in the same room/bed gives you, and they're such amazing things, it seems a shame to let any guilt spoil them.

Plenty of time for her to be sleeping away from you.

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MoveItMoveIt · 06/07/2013 01:03

Thankyou everyone Smile nice to see lots of stories of people doing the same thing.

If its not broke eh? Working for us both at the minute Smile

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AgentZigzag · 06/07/2013 00:57

My DD is three and a half too and still comes most of the night in bed with us

I wondered the same as you OP, but reading a poster on here saying 'don't worry, they'll not be in your bed still when they're 18 Grin' made me feel better.

If it's working for you, and working for her, don't give a monkeys about anyone else. If you're making a rod for your own back, then deal with it as/when, if it's not this it'll be something else.

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mrscumberbatch · 06/07/2013 00:46

DD is 3 and a half and still in bed with me.... it's 50% lovely, 50% complete PITA

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pookamoo · 06/07/2013 00:37

DD2 is 22 months and hasn't yet done a whole night in her cot in the room she's supposed to share with her sister. Most of the time we don't even bother trying. That "rod you are making for your own back" is a lovely one with cuddles!

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cariadmawr · 06/07/2013 00:35

Sorry phone ds1 is 20 not sa2 now would be squash I'd ge was there !!!! Sorry been long day

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