To think parents' wills should leave equal shares to siblings

[thegreedysister]

Is there ever a situation when this shouldn't happen?

I can understand special clauses for siblings with special needs/disabilities but if all things are equal in this area is there ever a good reason to not split things equally?

[foreverondiet]

Yabu - so many reasons why this might not be appropriate - one sibling need money more that another or gave up a lot of time to care for elderly parent. Or countless other reasons.

[ChazsBrilliantAttitude]

My dad gave a bigger share of the estate to me and my full sibling and less to half siblings from a previous marriage. His logic was that his estate included my mum's assets as well ( she predeceased him) so her contribution should go to her children and his contribution went to all his children.

The key thing was that this was discussed individually with all of us so everyone understood and it didn't cause any problems.

[cozietoesie]

.....I hate the whole will and death conversations tho, last thing I care about is money and property when a loved one has just passed away......

The thing is Accidentallyquirky that (apart from your executor who you should have informed fully of your intentions) any conversations don't need to be heavy, protracted and 'open that bottle of whisky' ones. Just a general mention in passing is sufficient for ordinary legatees.

In addition, it can be enormously relieving to have all financial matters already detailed when you're going through the pain of a loss. One less thing to worry about.

(I should say, however, that in my experience it's notable just how quickly people change from tears to 'I wonder what's happening to that antique table of Mum's?' Having it all set out already minimizes the stress of that sort of thing and also makes life a lot easier for the executor(s) who is often a member of the family and just as upset as the rest.)

[justmyview]

Justforlaughs yes my parents have tended to do the same. I think it's a good strategy

[Justforlaughs]

My parents have always gone out of their way to be absolutely fair to all of us. We laugh about it sometimes, but reading this I can see why. If one of us is a bit short then they would help us out, but would also give the same amount to the rest of us, whether we needed it or not. Their will states that their estate is to be split absolutely evenly between the siblings and if it hadn't I know that we would have done it ourselves anyway. At times like this I realise how lucky we are.

[ICantRememberWhatSheSaid]

We are giving cash to our kids whilst we are alive and will try and spend the rest. I don't wont to be giving too much to the tax man. We paid tax when we earns it, it seems mean to tax it again.

The money is much more useful for them now than if they had to wait until we die. Our wills leave everything in equal proportions.

[Arisbottle]

I have more money than my siblings because I have been born lucky, yes i have worked hard but so do most people. In fact most people have worked harder than me and have less.

I would be chuffed to bits if a windfall enabled them to have some of the securities and extras that we have. Why on earth would you begrudge others wat you have.

[kerala]

The legal advisors should make sure the testator understands the claims to which he ought to have regard and to ensure the will couldnt be challenged by disgruntled relatives and would hold up in court if challenged - but ultimately it is up to the testator what they do with their estate.

[kerala]

Kevinfoley it is not the solicitors job to advise on who benefits from the will that is not their remit or business.

[Accidentallyquirky]

Depends on the reasoning. My mother told me the day after I married that her will would now be changed and I'd get nothing. Her reasoning? I married an only child
Luckily I'm used to her shitty reasoning and decisions,I wouldn't have been bothered in the slightest had the reasoning not of been marrying an only child.
What if dh dies before me? What if my sister marries a millionaire who has three brothers?

Ironically her parents are splitting their will equally between my mam and 2 uncles - one uncle isn't married one is married to an only child and my dad has siblings.

I hate the whole will and death conversations tho, last thing I care about is money and property when a loved one has just passed away.

[WeAreEternal]

When my parents die I will get a much larger chunk of the estate because I have never taken money from my parents, over the years all of my siblings have taken money from my parents for deposits on houses or other things, I am the only one that has never asked them for any money.
It has been made clear that anything they take will be deducted from their share of the estate after my parents have gone.

This was decided because one sibling who is a waste of space and whom we all hate begged borrowed and scammed large sums of money from my parents for years (while living in their house and not paying a penny to them) to find a ridiculously dramatic lifestyle my golddigger of a SIL fluttered around my parents bleating about how worried she was about them giving everything to the bad sibling and leaving 'nothing for anyone else'
There was also apparently squabbles about who had received more money.
So my parents decided to divide the potential estate value and divide it equity and then deduct the money people had already 'borrowed'.

I think it is the forest way for us.
My parents don't have favourites, most of us are good to them so I really don't see any fairer way to split it.

Not that I want to do it for many, many decades, I adore my parents.

[FryOneFatManic]

I only know about MIL's will because she insisted on telling me everything. I really didn't want to know, it's her money, and I didn't want anyone to accuse me of undue influence or whatever.

[mrsfuzzy]

sorry kids, but dad and i intend to spend your 'inheritance' while we can, too many elderly people live an impovrished old age rather than using their savings etc to spend on themselves, my d gramps lived on next to nothing,he would refuse offers of help from family but when he died, mum found £26,000 in his wardrobe with a note saying i was to have it because i was in the process of buying my first home. i was so grateful but i'd rather he had spent more on himself, kept warm and ate well

[Arisbottle]

My parents don't have very much to leave but I hope they leave as much as they can to my brothers and sisters but nothing to me as I don't need it. In fact I would rather they spent it themselves, but if they are going to leave anything it should go to my siblings.

[justmyview]

I'm a bit surprised how many people seem to know how executry estates are to be divided, or have been divided

Over the years, I've received some small inheritances from grandparents, aunts & uncles. I've accepted them gratefully, I've never compared notes with other family members to see if they got the same, more or less, or what the total estate was worth

[AnneEyhtMeyer]

My MIL has already gifted her house to BIL. She has nothing else, so DH won't get anything. She likes to mention this to me regularly. I couldn't give a shit, it just proves what a horrible old bag she is.

I expect my parents have left everything to me, as I'm an only child, however I have suggested to them that they leave everything to my DD instead, as I think it makes more sense to skip a generation. I have no idea if they will do this however.

[Breatheslowly]

I think my DP may skip my generation and leave to their DGC. They have been very generous to both of their DC overtime, so not an issue skipping us at all. But we have one DC while DB has two. DP have suggested that they will therefore split 3 ways, and I find this a bit hard to accept, even though I can see the logic, as it means that 'my' bit flowing down to DD is diminished.

[marjproops]

Xales im so sorry for your parent and thats exactly how it is with me so i can really feel for them.

no, its not about the money and assetss, the only assett they leave is the knife for your back.

[Xales]

My parent was left a couple of £k where as their sibling was left £kkkk.

It was a final kick in the guts for my parent who had been treated like shit as the black sheep by the whole family for years. It broke their heart all over again to realise that even when contemplating their death their parent never loved them any where near as much as the other and to find this out after their death.

Yeah it was their money and they could leave it to who they wanted and not leave anything to my parent. It wasn't the money. It was the final 'you are not as good/worthy as your sibling and we prefer them over you'.

Glad I had nothing to do with them for years.

[MarmiteNotVegemite]

The thing is as parents we can't truly give equally, but we should try to equally meet needs as they arise

I think that can happen very naturally while parents are alive and parenting, but a will is different. It's final. If you use a will to try to settle issues that festered while you were alive, well, that's a recipe for ill-feeling.

[mercibucket]

to answer your original question, yes, i think all money should be split equally. if my parents didnt, i would expect us to vary the will and do it ourselves. i worry about dying, dh remarrying and my children being cut out of the will

[MumnGran]

[Mintyy]

No, no, really please don't apologise!

[MumnGran]

Mintyy ....I am so sorry, and do apologise if this caused you any upset, Entirely my fault .....I replied to the post from needaholidaynow, then went back to check the name, and eye must just have registered the highlighted one.